Top Things I've Discovered Working At Home Full Time

• Not having to drive to work has really increased my free time.
• Dusting isn't as boring as what I do at work.
• The instant messge "bell" sound on my work laptop is loud enough to wake me up from a nap.
• Who that one guy is who walks around my neighborhood.
• There really isn't anything worth watching on daytime television, except maybe a rerun of The Mod Squad here and there.
• Extended trips to the bathroom weren't just an "at the office" time-waster.
• I think that one guy who walks around my neighborhood killed that other guy who walks around my neighborhood. Haven't seen him in a while.
• It's 38 steps from one corner of my house to the furthest corner.
• I still don't know when to use farthest or furthest.  Nor do I care.
• I don't care about a lot things anymore.
• I better not go outside because of that one guy.
• Maybe I should spray paint my windows.
• I wonder how many sesame seeds I can fit in my belly button.
• 38, isn't that ironic! Also, I have trouble discerning irony from coincidence.  Another thing to add to my don't care list.
• Okay, you got me, it was much more than 38 sesame seeds, but I didn't want you to think I'm fat.
• All the vegetables in my fridge are shriveled and moldy.  Yet, I'm out of cookies and chips.  Ironic?  Coincidence?  Causal?  Correlated? Serendipitous? Portentous?  Myceanalogouslyistic?
• Words are hard.
• Uh oh, somebody is at the door.  I need to hide.
• It takes 3,594,378.5106 sesame seeds to sufficiently hide me.
• You think words are hard, try slicing exactly .5106 of a sesame seed.