So, remember that cyst they took out of my neck? Yeah, that one. Well, they didn’t let me take it home like I wanted, which is good because after the novelty wore off I’d probably have thrown it in a drawer and forgotten about it. But they’re a little more formal at the hospital and send it to pathology so they can test it, because, well, “what the hell is that thing?” Which was good in this case since it turned out to be cancerous.
But chill out. It’s very treatable and I expect to fully recover. Really. So chill. I f’ing mean it. I’ve spent the last four weeks being scanned and scoped and prodded and poked (at least it’s not prostate cancer), but I found an excellent team of head and neck cancer specialists at The University of Chicago that have determined it metastasized from a small tumor at the base of my tongue. It’s nothing they haven’t seen before, and they assure me that their regimen of chemotherapy and radiation treatments has a high probability of success, even more so with someone in my otherwise good health and relatively young age. Yeah, I kind of laughed at that one, too, until I looked around the waiting room.
So here’s the deal. There aren’t any guarantees but in the end it should be all cool, and that’s what I’m trying to stay focused upon. So you do the same or else I’ll have to start kicking ass.
I’ll keep you updated as best I can and don’t mind talking about it. In fact, I’ve been writing about my experience over the last month. I’ve found not everyone is quite as ready as I am to joke about it, but if you’re up to the challenge you can read the details of my exploits below. It’s a little long since it covers a month, so pace yourself. If you aren’t up for it, then go read a cookbook. It’s not as funny, but at least you’ll have something to eat when you're done.