For Arm
When I learned about
The Mobile Wad of Henry
I could not help but
Consider masturbation
As employment for said wad.
Sid Party
Life as you know it
Began this date years ago
Making it a cause
To celebrate, I suppos,
I don't know, give it a shot.
Domestic Drudge
Rip the cord to start
The engine in order to
Molest the verdure,
Grooming for affectation
Despite brown blotches and weeds.
Wade
When the lines between
Isolation, solitude
And loneliness blur
To a point beyond meaning,
Dude, lighten up a bit. Jeez.
Immune-mediated Polyarthritis
Lurking paw to paw
The burgeoning gimp reckoned
Eight hundred dollars
Would persuade its departure
And the return of butt rubs.
Pledge Drive
Distended left eye
Paired with a sharp nasal ramp
Posed in silhouette
Scared the boy through the window
And creeps out the man today.
Better Education Through Competion
I learned the word "squiz"
Today, as it scored me one
Hundred, thirty-nine
Words With Friends points against Pat.
Take a quick, close look at THAT!
Industriousness
A five drawer chest
Puzzled together without
Yelling, cussing and
Moaning, patience being the
Optimal tool for the job.
Cobras
Friday dance parties
With imbibing friends online
Where chat serves as dance
While sharing music motif'd
Highlight my quarantined weeks.
Misty Watercolor
I don't remember
Much from American Lit
High school junior year,
But I do know that the moon
Was a ghostly galleon.
Incubation
Like a corrupted
Cucumber yields a pickle
So, too, hopefully,
My own corruption fosters
Something as spectacular.
Abstention For No Particular Reason
Dabbler at most,
Reminded by four twenty,
Four months since The Man
Graciously granted the grass
I have not yet partaken.
Source Unremembered
A family of
Six yellow-bellied marmots
Moved next door to me
And chucked small rocks at my house
Until I asked them to stop.
Advice Column
If you want to slice
Gravy, for better results,
Chill it, otherwise,
You won't know which slice is which
And then you will feel silly.
They Don't Even Know It
Oh, it is posted
On the Internet, and it
Defends my beliefs,
Biases, prejudices,
And fears, so it must be true
Perusing a Map
Hand feeding fish at
Ned's Beach on Lord Howe Island,
Here fishy, fishy...
DRYER BUZZER BUZZING, AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!
Gotta go fold laundry now.
Alphabetical Almost Order
A b c d e
F g h i j k l
M n o p q
R s t u v x y
And z, w got lost.
I'm Not a Busy Man
I'm a busy man
These days, so I've adopted
The time saving plan
To start projects at the end
So I complete them faster.
True Friendship
My favorite pair
Of shoes knows where I have been,
Has holes where I've failed,
Wore away their soles for me,
And smells pretty damn nasty.
Back Cover Propaganda
Until yesterday
I never considered the
Concept of splendid
Monographs when a blurbed book
Review poisoned me with it.
Gertrud Bandera
Dear Trudl, with your
Expressive countenances
So well captured in
Sketches by Kokoschka, I
Wonder if you are dead now.
Would It Now
Travelling on a
Weather balloon deep inside
The Congo River
Basin would be a better
Trip on a barometer.
Somebody Should Be, Anyway
Brushing out the frog,
I am brushing out the frog,
Brushing out the frog,
I am brushing out the frog,
Brushing out the frog, I am.
Quite A Leap
Naturally, when
I broke my wrist, my thinking
Dripped of Tiktaalik
Then evolved to concerns for
My career in pro tennis.
Adaptation
Sometimes, depending
On the configuration
Of the food on the
Plate or in the bowl, I need
To change my grip on the spoon.
I Went To Class That Day
For subjunctive mood
My grammar professor said
(Wait, they have grammar
Professors?)(Apparently)
"Was" or "were" are both correct
A Peeve
I have (don't you hate
When people say more in their
Parenthetical
Note than they say in their main
Statement?) nothing much to say.
We Never Did Meet Up
Opioid-induced
Constipation really takes
The nifty out of
Being hopped up on the goop
With all my cool druggie friends.
Etiquette
Having just eaten
Doritos I won't afflict
You by mouth breathing,
But please forgive me if my
Nose breath reeks of farina.
Perspective
I've lived through lost jobs,
Lost loved ones, lost romances,
Lost hopes and dreams, yet
I've never been so sad as
When all the cookies are gone.
More Map Perusing
What is going on
In the cold edge of Svalbard,
Skerries all around,
And should we be concerned with
Not hearing about it more?
Predatory Comeuppance
Beaked with worm, mother
Robin searches for her nest,
Razed by landscaping,
Her chicks surely to suffer
A fate not unlike the worm.
Dictionary Reading
Having three stomachs
Was the only struthious
Attribute he had,
Forcing him to feign to be
Vulnerable by default.
For The Many
Forced under a rock,
To save the organism
Of which I'm a part,
It has become my refuge
From which I may not emerge.
For Gabriela
Tehuacán Valley
Berries reposed in a bowl
Assuage a frenzy
Provoked by war that threatens
Those berries' ubiety.
Can't Say I Didn't Enjoy It
I ate four ears of
Corn for lunch the other day
Then after a while
My effort was rewarded
By a big, fun explosion.
Self Awareness
You may have noticed
I have not been composing
Tanka poetry
As much as I've been writing
Thirty-one dumb syllables.
Generational Amnesia
Pre-schools should teach the
Archimedes' principle
Of buoyancy so
These kids today can employ
Bathtub filling discipline.
Fooling Nobody
Avatar here and
Avatar there, depicting
People in cartoon
Facsimile, yet they seem
To exclude fat and wrinkles.
No Much Passion
Lolled by gluttony
Reading for inspiration
Finding not one mote
Left me empty in noggin,
With a paunch full of regret.
Formulaic Movie Review
If I like the boy
And I like the girl, I'm glad
To see them end up
Together by the end of
The movie, and the nude scenes.
200 Left To Remember
Malleus incus
Stapes, malleus incus
Stapes, malleus
Incus stapes, repeat this
To memorize the ear bones.
Homophonic Folly
Oh picadita,
Kind sope, delectables
Atop pinched masa,
What if the masa was soap
Would you bestow bubbly farts?
That What Makes Each Special
I shan't glove my hand
To prevent petty dastards
From maliciously
Mocking my double distal
Interphalangeal crease.
