Sunday, September 30, 2007

Call Me Kitty X - Sometimes....

I'm on a roll here, so let's just post one more CMK and finish it off. This is the tenth and final installment. (Ed. Note: There is a trilogy that preceded the Kitty series, but these remain unreleased due to not wanting to confuse people like that bastard Lucas did with that Star Wars debacle.) So if you enjoyed your time with Dave, then you'll be happy to know you now have the complete set. If you never liked the bastard, then you'll never have to see him again.

Sometimes you drink and sometimes you fight. Sometimes you just laugh your ass off at other drunks. Or sometimes you laugh at others not as drunk. What makes them think they’re so great?
Sometimes you try to pick up chicks. Like Pablo Picasso. Who drove down the street in his El Dorado. Other times you just wonder what it might be like to be another species and develop a mating call. Most of the time you just try not to hit other El Dorados with your El Camino. El Rancheros may be Ford tough, but never looked as cool.
Sometimes you watch the game and other times you ignore it. If you’re watching the game, why can’t everyone just shut the hell up? And if you’re ignoring it, why would anyone else want to watch that crap? Father knows best but he's not here with the remote now, is he?
Sometimes you eat, usually something very unhealthy. Other times you forget and wonder which is worse. Sometimes it’s an afterthought and you eat burritos, other times you eat small hamburgers.
Sometimes you drink it straight from the bottle. If it’s beer, that’s the way it should be. If it’s over 80 proof, then you’re a bad ass and I want to be your friend. Other times it’s in a glass or a plastic cup. At least you don’t inject it. That would be very bad. But you wonder if the alcohol would sterilize the needle enough to make it safe. Sometimes you wonder too much.
Sometimes you tip too much. Sometimes you hope they don’t notice when you’re broke and you don’t. Sometimes you wish they would give you frequent flyer miles. And sometimes you just wish they’d give you a swift kick in the ass. But free miles sound better.
Sometimes it’s happy, sometimes it’s sad. Sometimes you choose, other times you don’t.
Sometimes there’s music and other times there’s really loud music. Drinking and silence are a rare combination. One might think that alcohol is the antidote to silence. And sometimes the music is so loud you wonder why. You wonder a lot. Not just about music. Just a lot.
Sometimes you stand, sometimes you sit, and sometimes you wobble. Sometimes it’s crowded and you want to sit. Other times you get there too early and your ass is numb from sitting too long. It’s not a dynamic activity. If you’re moving, stop and sit down or at least stand in one place for a minute.
You wouldn’t want to spill any now, would you?
And almost as if she were reading Dave’s mind, she sat down on the stool next to his and ordered another. He smiled, and he added a shot to his tab....

7 comments:

del901 said...

Dave, Dave, why hast thou deserted us? I feel like we have only begun to know ya!

Waiting anxiously for the new serial blog to begin.

keysunset said...

Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.


And to adapt another part of the screenplay:

Dave,

So, your readers cannot go with you or ever see you again? We must not ask why?

Just believe that we love you. Go, and God bless you.

limgorgeous said...

Brilliant, period.

Moist Rub said...

Sometimes people like Dave change. Sometimes they don't. If they change, their story is done and there is no more to tell. If they don't, then you've already heard all there is to tell.

e said...

I'm on a roll here
Indeed, you are still rolling with this one. Great stuff.

lh said...

You know what I wonder sometimes...when there's a sudden death sports championship of some kind, they have to have the caps and shirts and everything made up for both teams. What happens to all that stuff for the team that doesn't win...

HR said...

Wow. Ecclesiastes 3, verses 1–8 meets Pete Seeger meets a magnum of Bombay Sapphire.

I <3 Jar Jar Binks!