Friday, January 26, 2007

The Floor and the Dog

There is a dog. There is a floor. Through no choice of the floor, the dog is on it. The floor is under the dog. The floor sustains the dog. The dog burdens the floor. The floor suffers the dog. This is their relationship. It is not the fault of the dog. It is merely following orders.

The floor pushes back, as it also follows orders. The floor hates the dog. The dog does not realize the floor is there. The dog does not consider the option of non-support. The floor considers all other options, but is helpless to choose.

The floor is covered by carpet. The dog is covered by hair. The fibers mingle. There is no contention between the inorganic threads of the carpet and the organic strands of hair. They are happy to congregate. They make room for each other. In the event of separation, some hair will remain guests of the carpet, and some carpet will travel with the hair.

The dog bestows gifts from within to the floor. The floor accepts these gifts with dissent. The dog is relieved. The floor is burdened further. Parts of the gifts meld with the parts of the floor. The floor is slightly weakened. The dog begins to feel a void, unable to fill it until opportunity rings. The floor shares the anticipation of the dog’s portending contingency as it represents a relief for the floor. The dog yawns. The floor sighs.

The gifts of the dog interrupt the camaraderie between the community of carpet and hair. The gifts incite some of the carpet threads to retreat and compact. Most, however, continue to socialize. Those directly affected by the gifts are unable to convince the others to support their cause. A wall has been built that only time can destroy. The hair does not notice the absence of the missing fibers. It makes no attempt to penetrate the separation. The influenced portion of the carpet is drawn closer to the floor and adopts its resentment towards the dog. Together they will fester until the effects of the dog’s gifts have evaporated.

There is an overweight boy wearing muddy baseball cleats and carrying a pitchfork, a box of matches and a tap dance instructional manual. The floor is having a bad day, but realizes that the dog isn’t so bad.

11 comments:

Sid F'er said...

Suddenly I feel the need to shampoo my carpets...

frewbud said...

Does this mean you are finally going to wash your pubes, Sid?

del said...

In other words, always wear your shoes when at Moist's house.

HR said...

And the virtual bong has been passed.

Leper Hopeful said...

Think Sid's been unknowingly sharing his drugs with Moist.

leplov said...

Maybe it was the Ecstacy. They are trying to use it medicinally now. Moist must be part of the trial.

(and for the love of Xe please potty train your dogs!)

sisyphus said...

A brilliant philosophical essay metaphorically exploring the dualities and paradox of man’s existence. The dog represents our ability to achieve contentment only through relative ignorance, while the floor acknowledges that contentment is merely a concept equated to relief of discontent; no victory is final, hope is hopeless, reason is unreasonable, and our goals in life are all futile attempts to believe otherwise. An unexamined life is not worth living, while life, when examined, is totally absurd, but in end, it really doesn’t matter, because we’re all going to be a stain on the carpet someday. Thanks a lot, Moist…

p.s. Very well done, however. Now pass the bong...

sisyphus said...

I went to bed thinking “Ah, life – a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an allergen-filled urine-soaked hairball.” With the new dawn, I realized that this was merely an allegory of marriage. What a relief.

My bad…

keysunset said...

what imagery, what art of observation, what ...

ah, pass the bong.

;-) Great stuff, Moist ....

doug_plank said...

Is that kid you, Rub?

Kristy said...

Who,who,who took my hookah ?