Thursday, February 15, 2007

Ode to the Chin

Bad, yet poignant, poetry by Captain Break-It

Many, many years ago
In a place from afar,
Out dropped a creature
From a chick named Babar.

This monster's head hit the floor
With a resounding din
Caused by the weight
Of its gigantic chin.

The doctors amputated the chin
After having a talk.
If not for this procedure
The mutant couldn't walk.

Babar finally decided
Sid be thy name since
It much better than the symbol
Formerly known as Prince

The chin remained dormant
For a plethora of years.
But this did little
To calm Babar's fears.

One day it happened,
The chin began to grow
Sometime around the period
Of Mr. Brady's fro.

Sid took his chin to college
To get a degree,
Where he met a bunch of losers
In the tower of Oglesby.

The chin was corrupted
By these wasters of life.
All that was left
Was Pink Floyd and a knife.

The deans of the school
Said in a rage,
You don't belong here,
Try the College of DuPage.

The chin went back home
To take the suburbs by storm.
For the chin could not
Be confined by a dorm.

Sid plotted his return
While attending C.O.D.,
He knew in his heart
The chin had to be free.

The Coalition awaited
His triumphant return,
There was a place called Leper House
That needed to burn.

The chin finally returned
And had grown into many
Along with our Sid
Now came Vinny and Lenny.

The chin and its trio,
With their fury unleashed,
Everyone thought,
"What a dick!"

The power of the chin
Mesmerized the masses.
Even the mighty Coalition
Couldn't make it to classes.

With the college ladies
Sid was a hit.
They swarmed to his chin
Like flies do to shit.

Attempts at his life
Were brushed aside with ease.
He even survived
A case of killer pubic fleas.

The day finally came
For him to leave school.
The chin had a business world
That it had to rule.

The chin stood up
And pointed north with his hand.
He shouted, "I'm leaving now
To be the King of SeaLand."

The chin was so bad
At routing its freight,
He was banished forever
To the Lone Star State.

The chin was welcomed
With a "Howdy, y'all".
Sid cracked a smile.
Texas would fall.

Sid is still there
To this very day.
The last I heard
He was drinking with Ray.

Some say the chin is shrinking.
I don't know about that.
I kind of think
His head has gotten fat.

18 comments:

5 rods stalker said...

MMMM. I belieeeve I read that somewhere before.

LL said...

The chin and its trio,
With their fury unleashed,
Everyone thought,
"What a dick!"


That doesn't even rhyme.

Dillhole.

Just kidding! It is simply inspiring. To someone. Well, maybe just Sid. Or not.

ll said...

Oh and WELCOME BACK!!!

del said...

OMG, the legendary Captain Break It has decided to honour us with his poetry. But where's the rest of it? You know, the part where Sid moves back to Chicago and hangs with the legendary (and boobalicious) Snarkgirls?

keysunset said...

del, be patient now, CBI has honored us with this offering. Let us show gratitude.

OK, enough gratitude, where's the rest of it ...

I especially like the prophetic part:
Attempts at his life
Were brushed aside with ease.


Amen, Brother Break-it, amen.

CBI said...

I cry foul. This was published without my consent by some insidiuos bastard that has access to my innermost archives.
We are missing the part about Vince moving to Chicago and battling his new demon because this was written about 10+ years ago while I was bored at work.

I noticed that some of the verbage was changed to protect the innocent.

keysunset said...

I cry foul. This was published without my consent by some inSIDiuos bastard

OH, so now we know who posted it, huh!

I noticed that some of the verbage was changed to protect the innocent.

Yeah? Like who among you Leperous ones is innocent?!

LOL! ;-)

edita said...

CBI said - "This was published without my consent by some insidiuos (sic) bastard...

An honest mistake, or a carefully placed misspelling? I wonder…

Anyway, no need to get huffy. It's my understanding that the I Chin and Tao Te Chin are in the public domain, and as such, can be reprinted without permission. Be proud, and finish the story. The world is waiting…

del said...

I noticed that some of the verbage was changed to protect the innocent. Do tell! ;-)

Leper Hopeful said...

My favorite verse:

With the college ladies
Sid was a hit.
They swarmed to his chin
Like flies do to shit.

kristy said...

That Sid, he's a f'er.

bravebetsy said...

Hey, I just found out that they are doing a new reality show about film makers called "On the Lot." It's by Marc Burnett and Steven Spielberg.
Check out the web site and while you're there (here comes the cheap plug) check out my sister's 5 minute drama, "Sunset":

http://films.thelot.com/films/2825

Anyway, I figure this show will give you guys plenty of material when not in Rock Star season.

Much Love,
BB

keysunset said...

the injustice of it all. mmmmmMarty gets over 200 comments at his latest post, while CBI's magnificent masterpiece has only (counting this one) 13.

What is this world coming to.

;-)

del said...

Only 13 (now 14), but CBIs comments don't include any from fans engaging in verbal fist fights.

Btw, still waiting on that sequel, CBI. The Chin Comes Back, the Chicago Years Redux

interleper said...

Does the chin have a doppelganger, and if so, would xe refer to it as his evil chin, or his double chin?

keysunset said...

his evil chin, or his double chin? ROTFLOL!

Very witty, Wilde, very witty.

Don Pardo said...

Chin is euphemism for assbone?

keysunset said...

don't include any from fans engaging in verbal fist fights.


No we haven't come to fisticuffs yet, probably much to CBI's dismay ...