Sunday, July 22, 2007

TV Party

I recently had an extended leave of absence from work and had some time to fill while captive in my apartment. When I was desperate enough, I turned to television for entertainment. Here is what I discovered:

Television is a tool of Satan. I spent way too much time trying to figure out who was hotter – Morticia Addams or Lily Munster.


I can’t believe it took me so long to figure out that Ward Cleaver was pretty much a dick.

I’m strangely fascinated by Rachel Ray, but if you tell anyone I’ll deny it. Completely.

Even if golf featured supermodels playing naked, I still wouldn’t be able to watch it on TV.

The Iron Chef always wins. Especially the fat guy in the clogs who looks like a Simpsons character.

Gunsmoke is pretty cool. I never really watched it until recently, and now I wish I could have spent a few days in Dodge back then.

Televisions marathons are revolting and I question the mental acuity of anyone that can watch more than 60 consecutive minutes of the same show. Especially something like American Gladiators.

The stock ticker on CNBC can be very calming and meditative.

Experts on television rarely are.

If it weren’t for playoff hockey and my crush on local NBC weekend news anchor Anna Davlantes, I’d have probably thrown my television off the balcony.


Or myself.

10 comments:

lh said...

Even if golf featured supermodels playing naked, I still wouldn’t be able to watch it on TV.

Wow. That is stunning. My screen turned red and I got one of those breaking news alerts when I read that.

Kristy said...

Lol, that chef dude does look like a Simpsons character (the comic book store clerk) !!

del said...

So who is hotter, Morticia or Lily?

John from Grand Haven, MI said...

anna called. she said to quit stalking her.

Moist Rub said...

The fascinating part of Rachel Ray is that, somehow, she was able to become rich.

keysunset said...

Morticia Addams is hotter, hands down! Right, Thing?

Besides, I'd much rather watch Morticia and Gomez than Lily and Herman ...

OK, off to go crash some trains ...

p.s. glad you were able to keep from throwing yourself off the balcony, you might have landed on the motorized chair guy from the "Cruise Night" post.

fcc said...

I can’t believe it took me so long to figure out that Ward Cleaver was pretty much a dick.

Imagine the trauma you might have suffered if they left nothing to interpretation and simply called him Dick Cleaver.

HR said...

Why do you say such things?

AMAI said...

I might watch golf if Marty and Johnny Depp were playing.

Anonymous said...

Isn't that a guinea pig under a pancake? My people consider that a sign of the end times.
--Chai-rista