Saturday, October 13, 2007

The Most Bestest Show on Television

I don’t watch too much television and despise most reality shows. Okay, I confess. I can actually watch about two episodes of any series before it grows tiresome and I just want to organize a murder-suicide between the contestants and me.

But every once in a while a series captures my attention and I feel obligated to share it with our exclusive readership. Last year that show was In Search of the Next Pussycat Doll, which brought together a bunch of hot, annoying, catty young ladies to entertain us with their singing, dancing, hotness, annoyingness, and cattiness. So I now bring you this season’s featured show:

America’s Most Smartest Model on VH1. Please tune in. Please.

Sixteen models are competing for the title by participating in a series of modeling and intellectual challenges and judged by Ben Stein and Mary Alice Somebody from Bazaar. In episode one there was the spelling bee that asked them to spell words such as collagen (ding! (by the way, “My lips are silicone, not collagen.”)) and emaciated (not even close) and designer names such as Tommy “Hilfinger”. There was also the runway walk while having to rattle off items in a given category like “Things That Are Round.” Mandy found that to be very challenging, but was smart enough to think of three (balls, cherries, tires) and repeat them over and over during her turn. The male model that got “US States” as his category included the states of Memphis and Seattle.

You’ve got the stereotypical ditzy lingerie model that only made it through the first episode because Ben thought she was hot (much to Mary Alice’s chagrin). The Argentinean guy that believes any woman will sleep with him if he tells her she has nice tits and a hot ass. And the formidable Soviet model straight out of that Rocky movie in which Rocky had to fight the formidable Soviet dude.

You might feel old and fat watching the show, but you’ll also feel like a genius. And when they get old and fat, at least you’ll still be able to find the state of Memphis on a map.

6 comments:

Moist Rub said...

I feel old and fat no matter what I do.

What heinous course of events led the venerable Ben Stein to this fate? And I thought he hit rock bottom with the Visine commercials. Heroin is a very bad thing.

eam said...

There are no words...

keysunset said...

My goodness! What a train wreck of lunacy this sounds like!

I can see the appeal. Especially since the contestants would have to look better than the last train wreck of lunacy I saw on tv.

I don't get VH1 as part of my substandard cable package, so I'll be looking forward to your updates!

BTW, do you have a fave yet?

p.s. We love you anyway, Moist darlin'!

ll said...

I think Sid may need an intervention.

del said...

We don't have VH1 in Canada. Now I have to emigrate.

HR said...

TV is the mind-killer. TV is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my TV. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the TV has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain