Happy Birthday, Chris!

Today is Chris Wolak’s birthday. You may not know him. He and I attended the same schools, from first grade all the way through twelfth grade. We were decent friends. Over the years our association with each other ebbed and flowed, depending if we were in the same classroom, or, in high school, if we shared any classes. His neighborhood’s team would play baseball against my neighborhood’s team during the summers. My team was better (no thanks to me). Jim Hopper was on their team. I don’t know when his birthday is. He was kind of jerk. He thought I was a jerk. But I wasn’t. That was his jerkness bouncing off me and hitting him back in his jerk face.

I saw Chris a couple of times over the years since high school, late night, at Burritoland, after the bars had closed. We were both drunk. Well, I was. I’m not sure if he was. But, if he wasn’t, what the hell was he doing at Burritoland at three in the morning? The last time I saw him was at our high school reunion. That was about five years ago. He was shorter than I remembered. Maybe I’ve grown since those times at Burritoland. I know I have, emotionally. That’s for sure. He still had the same raspy voice I remembered, similar to Ron Santo’s voice. He probably does that on purpose since he’s a Cubs fan. Cubs fans - how silly. I enjoyed catching up with him at the reunion. It was good to see him. I don’t remember what he’s doing nowadays. Iron worker, maybe? History teacher? Tuber Technician? I do remember that double Jack and Cokes cost twelve bucks that night. What a rip off.

You may not give a crap that today is Chris Wolak’s birthday. But you should. Maybe not all of you, but those of you who care about the birthdays of big shot Hollywood actors, you should care. You don’t know those people, either, but you fuss it up for them. What makes them so different than Chris Wolak? Sure, they are fabulous. They are all better than the rest of us. They are the beautiful people. But Chris is beautiful, too, in his own way.

Chris Wolak is beautiful in his own way.
Like falling through the ice, playing hockey at Hidden Pond one day.
And Chris Wolak is beautiful in his own way.
And he’s shorter than I thought, with me that’s A-OK.

I hope you show him some love today, and every January 10^th each year hence forth. If not, then turn off the damned Entertainment Tonight and get a life. Do it for Chris.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHRIS WOLAK!