I was hanging out on the leather fetish board that I frequent, and I mentioned that I don't care for assless chaps. A lady known as Marlboro Mistress took offense and claimed I implied she had a fat ass. She called me a vinyl-wearing poser and told me to stuff a ball-gag in my mouth. I almost replied that now that she mentioned it, I've seen smaller asses in the Sumo ring and that assless chaps went out with the Village People. Instead, I refrained and told her that the remark was uncalled for and requested she send a picture of herself in said chaps after being spanked. She obliged. Talk about an assful of zits. Jeez.