Silly Seriousity

Last night I accidentally watched some of the Republican National Convention. I didn’t see much, but what I did see confirmed my opinion that our political process is silly. This goes beyond the silly hats, silly buttons, silly cheering of silly disgorgements, silly costumes and silly “rally, rally, the other political party’s name is Sally” mentality running amuck throughout the entire scene.

Before I continue, even though I am discussing the RNC, it doesn’t mean the Democrats are any better in this matter. I didn’t see much of the DNC, but I did see a few minutes of Hillary’s speech where she begged her supporters to go Obama (once you go Obama, you never go back?). (Since the DNC followed Hillary’s failed campaign, would it be crude of me to compare her campaign [and the other Dem losers’ campaigns] to a miscarriage?) I’m sure the rest of it was just as much a freak show as the RNC.

When I initially tuned in I saw a pretty girl singing about god or something. A man, who looked like a younger version of the current old looking Elvis Costello, sat upon a stool behind her playing an acoustic guitar that I could not hear over the backing recorded music track (either have the whole band there or just the singer – that’s what I say – what is this, The Gong Show?). I don’t know why he was there unless they were trying to trick people into thinking Elvis Costello is a Republican. Who knows, maybe he is a Republican. Who knows, maybe that WAS Elvis Costello. Either way, I’m not sure what that had to do with the election.

“Jeepers, Ethel, that cute little girl’s sangin’ gives me a hankerin’ to vote Republican. Who’s Elvis Costello?”

Next they showed me a film strip about Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln and Ronald Reagan, the holy elephantal trinity. Most of the film strip lauded Abe’s accomplishments as the presidential Republican trail blazer, and I was glad to learn that the Republicans are still against slavery (regardless of their feelings about labor unions and the minimum wage). The silliest part of the film strip was its producers’ implicit attempt to parallel aspects of Lincoln’s experience with the Civil War with Dubbya’s performance with whatever the hell is going on in Iraq. The pathetic silliest part is that somebody within that party expected anybody would buy into that crap. And the worst silliest part is somebody probably did.

“Jeepers, Ethel, that poor George W. Bush had to put up with the same kind of hen-peckin’ from the media and the Democrats as Lincoln did. Since the Civil War was the right thing to do, the skirmish in Iraq must be the right thing to do, too. We just have to be patient. I’m voting Republican.”

Finally, I watched Tommy Espinoza take the stage. He is a pal of John McCain who happens to be a Hispanic, a Catholic and a Democrat. Good lord, what’s him doing here at a Republican shindig? A Catholic????????? I thought they all left town after Kennedy was shot? (George Kennedy in The Blue Knight, that is.) The gops in the crowd smattered their claps at him as they dialed security on their cell phones and wondered why he was there. I didn’t wonder, but looked forward to his explanation. As it turned out, he supports McCain because of god, love and hope. Those are some concrete arguments. The economy will be better in no time. I may even get a raise next year.

“Jeepers, Ethel, I didn’t know Mexicans could wear a suit and a neck tie. I’m definitely voting Republican!”

After all of this, and plenty more for which I was too sane to endure, they expect us to take this election seriously? I’m not falling for it. Silliness has a place, and that place is not seriousity. You can quote me on that. It’s about as profound as I get.

I’ll be voting for myself once again, in case you were wondering.