Saturday, November 12, 2005

Call Me Kitty II

Our hero Dave seemed to have created a bit of a stir when Call Me Kitty made its recent debut. Although not mentioned by name, Dave ventures outside the steamy confines of his shower in the second installment.

Call Me Kitty II

They danced on Greenville Avenue at a street party for two to the sounds that filtered through the metal garage doors of the bar they had just left; the only guest, a homeless bard in a battered coat, hoping to trade his streetwise Homeric ramblings for a donation to a bottle that would help warm him.

“Brrrr, cold!” his lips rumbled angrily and knowingly to kick start the beat of each verse, continuing to the beat of their feet as they trekked up the street. Their eloquent escort continued to the newly opened doors of the Whisky Bar. The brass rails and marble bartops would soon again separate the party, and they paid homage to their poet laureate for the evening with a couple of crumpled dollar bills from their front pockets to help support his habit. The balance of the money went inside with them to support theirs.

Most of the crowd dressed in black, taking their role in the bar far too seriously. The couple immediately looked for a way to lampoon the atmosphere that was so ripe for it. They found the best way was to join in on the local rituals, and, although they wore faded jeans and obviously did not understand the concept of moderation, they too chose and sipped heartily from the stock of single barrel bourbons as well as those in the blackest wardrobes. And then some. The small crowd was relaxed, yet somber, and clearly didn’t understand the amusement of their visitors. Melancholy bastards.

Once they found the bottom of their glasses again, they chased the lingering drops of the aged bourbon with a side of fresh ice water, glanced knowingly to each other and flitted to the door. As they pushed the door open, the burst of winter air was a welcome gust after the stuffy atmosphere they had just left. His thoughts turned to Sarah Jessica Parker, while she searched for their bard. Unable to spot either in the immediate vicinity, they continued on with only each other.

The traffic on the streets and sidewalks indicated that despite their early start, the rest of the city had caught up with them this evening. The only lead they maintained was in the amount of alcohol that coursed through their veins. So why quit now...

They set the requirements for the next stop - dark, smoky, with two seats near to their local barkeep. Candidates came to mind, but the winner was decided by a matter of geography as they crossed the street to the Icehouse. After slicing through the smoke that hung inside the door, they bellied up to the bar as the bartender tossed two coasters atop the worn bartop in front of them. To keep with the frenetic pace of the night, he asked for their order without a word, but by merely raising his eyebrows in their direction. So as not to disrupt the flow they offered a rote request for two beers which he produced nearly before they finished the order. As he waited for payment, the excess water from the iced down bottles that dripped from his hands was wiped through his greasy hair, down through his ponytail, and finished off with a wipe of the crumpled rag that was laced through his belt.

Before paying, they looked to one another again and knew they had to add a shot of Turkey to the order. With that they toasted, while the words of Jean Stafford hung in the air...

“To her own heart, which was shaped exactly like a valentine, there came a winglike palpitation, a delicate exigency, and all the fragrance of all the flowery springtime love affairs that ever were seemed waiting for them in the whiskey bottle.”


keysunset said...

I much enjoyed the discussion that went on over "Call Me Kitty I," but it was with some trepidation that I began reading CMK II. I was not disappointed.

Dave is still searching for, and not finding, whatever it is he is looking for - it shows here in the bar to bar to bar trek he makes, and in his longing for a relationship with someone.

At the end of this installment, I can guess that neither the bottle nor the unnamed woman will be enough for Dave. This woman is certainly the relationship he wants or needs since she is not even important enough to Dave in this story to warrant having a name!

Dave continues his search, the melancholy bastard.

There's so much in Dave's story that reminds me of my own family's situations. I still pray for the ex-sister-in-law, wherever she is. I still feel grief over broken dreams, broken promises, and broken relationships - and I see them reflected in Dave. But there is always hope for healing and happiness, even Dave felt the music and was dancing in the street.

Ah then, my friends, now that I have "analyzed" the crap out of Call Me Kitty II and written, I'm sure, waay too much, it's your turn. I'll just be sitting over in the corner, working on the Dirge-a-palooza, etc. plans.

keysunset said...

sorry - correct the sentence in the third paragraph to say "This woman is certainly NOT the relationship ..."

Aw, who cares who I am said...

Do windows users get to see images in title bars? I don't. The title bar on this page says "Blogger:Post a Comment".

On the main page of Leper Pop, when the new ticket was installed, the title bar also was changed. To a link. And that which the link goes to will never show up in my title bar. My title bar shows text only. No pictures.

What I have on the main page on the title bar now is an html command to use an image border located at T.L. Puddinhead.

I mentioned this to the guys and Moist says he's not changing it. So I figure you folks on Windows must have something way cooler than I do and get to see pictures and stuff in the title bar. Do you?


keysunset said...

HI Andreee! Good to "see" you. I'm running Windows XP and I see all sorts of pictures. Like in the "Time to Wango" post there are mini-pics beside Moist and Sid's comments. Do you not see any of that? Got to get back to working on the Leprosy scrapbook. It's mighty empty right now ....

V.I. said...

Thank you Key! I don't see any pictures at all in the comments area. I've seen the face pictures in the gent's profile area. Are they the same ones?

The only pictures I see on the main page are the Bukowski drawing/autograph and the Mig/Rafael picture and the Evolution of Bob.

I don't post much now. Jen Fan said I ruined this site and the comments area for them because of my posting. I never wanted to make it worse here for anyone.

And I didn't see anyone leaping to my rescue when I was picked on, which means no one noticed or just didn't care.

So I figured why post if I'm going to get jumped on by one and no one else cares? I posted because of the title bar. Which I also emailed and was just trying to be helpful and that didn't go over well either.

Like the patrons in black, I take my non-role far too seriously.

The smoky bar. Are there still such places? I think smoking is banned in all public places here in California. Even in some outdoor places. Like within a distance to a building, large events, or in general in one city. You can smoke and walk outside but you can't stop and smoke. I think it's to keep the smokers healthy.


Danny DeVito said...

Andree, I would have valiantly come to your rescue, that is, if I didn't have to contend with an irate orangutan wanting to lick the pancreatic expulsions(buttox jelly) from my asscrack. Priorities, priorities...

Jules said...

I'll leap to your rescue, Andree! I'm sorry I'm not here in time for it to make a difference, though. Jen Fan obviously has an axe to grind and mistook your skull for a grindstone. Blog on, Andree. If someone's got a problem with it, that's what scrolling is there for.

Jules said...

Oh, I forgot to make my comment to Sid. Silly me. My brain's been on vacation for a while, so you'll have to excuse it.

Sid, I still think you should write a book. It might be too melancholy and depressing for me, but you've got some really great stuff with Dave the Melancholy Bastard, here. (Thanks, keysunset!)

keysunset said...


By my fault, by my own fault, by my own most grevious fault, I have offended you by seeming uncaring about the jen fan/village idiot situation. I really wasn't sure what to say that wouldn't seem like escalating the argument. I certainly don't mind what anyone posts here. I hope they don't mind me too much. (I was glad to get rid of the spam. Smart man, that Sid.)

May I make amends by offering all injured parties a virtual coupon entitling them to free slices of banana cream pie, a serving of "Moist Rub" ribs, and a cup of "Sid's Favorite" Faygo Frosh at the upcoming Dirge-a-Palooza, etc. extravaganza?!

Jules, Thanks for the mention. I just couldn't help thinking that Dave and his date were just as much the "melancholy bastards" as they black dressed clientele of the Whisky Bar.

Andree, Night Stalker has already lost me. This past Thursday was a "to be continued" and I don't even care. I'll just have to wait for the next Call Me Kitty - now there's compelling drama! - or perhaps a legless story from Moist. House .

bclf said...

Did that always say asscake or is that new?

Anonymous said...

Sid loves asscake.

Village Idiot said...

Key, those "to be continued" shows don't fill me with anticipation for next week's show, but instead annoy me. I didn't bother watching Category 7 on CBS, continued from last week.

We're like Dave, wandering from show to show, taking it in, getting a taste, and going on to the next show.

Mocking those who take their roles far too seriously, those who analyze "Lost" for example. I never did get into picking up every single detail. Not on a conscious level anyway.

But when we were getting our mockumentary of Rockstar from Our Heros:Lepers, it turns out the details they picked up on were stored SOMEWHERE in my mind and pointing them out would have me laughing until the tears came.

BCLF, the Asscake title bar was placed sometime Saturday night/Sunday morning. There were some problems with something the guys were playing around with, which is why I posted about the title bar earlier.

I sent a couple pictures to the Our Heroes to show them how it looked at my end, told them how I saw it, told them what it did to my browser, and then I put spit in their hair.

And deja vu, my cat Sahara is having problems again with stones/crystals. Poor dear heart.


Anonymous said...

What in the heck is an, "asscake?"

keysunset said...

It was far too late at night for me to have put up a post last night. I meant to say House is the only show I am scheduling to watch anymore.

Glad to see more of the crowd posting. There might be hope to auction that Leper House sign after all ...

Have a great day y'all!

jd said...

Asscake means you had a pretty fricking good birthday. You wake up with cake in your ass despite a group shower and with women who will eat the crumbs you have been sitting in so you don't have to make them eggs the next morning.
Here's wishing Moist Rub a Happy Asscake.

Village Idiot said...

Anonymous, review the blogs for Rockstar, beginning with the cake fight mentioned in Sid's September 4th blog.

I believe the term "asscake" makes it's formal debut in Sid's Sep. 6th blog.


Miss Asscake, if you're nasty said...

When IS Moist's official asscake? And how many candles do we put on it?


MC said...

JD don't go assigning gender roles! I for one deeply enjoyed the savoury flavor of your asscake.

ju said...

Screw the cake, just meet me in the shower.

Jules said...


I'm sorry, were we being dirty? I got sidetracked by my stomach.

AMAI said...

Jeez, how come I'm always late for cake?

Frodo Emerald Devotee said...

I'm taking a pass on the asscake -- now that Jordis has gone and defiled it.

keysunset said...

MC's Toyota Camry is on sale on eBay, up to $3,900.00. In the ask the seller a question someone asked:

Q: Does MARTY CASEY come with the car??

And they were answered:

A: lol, good one! I can ask him to leave some of his things in there, sign the dashboard if you want

Just the question itself brought up some interesting possibilities to my mind (maybe yours too AMAI.) but what kind of "things" would Marty choose to leave in a car he was selling! Old underwear, stale cake, a desperate love note from Bawk Bawk (aka Brooke Burke) crumpled and shoved up under the driver's seat. Hoo knows.

AMAI, if you want cake, just place an order and I'll be sure to try to send you some, or at least have it available at the Dirge-a-palooza, etc., extravaganza. Y'know, I'm thinking we're going to have to schedule this as a summer event. Y'all can deal with a little heat and humidity can't you? NC in the summer?

Have a great day!

village idiot said...

Key, I had to go look at the auction. I was hoping for some nice Marty shots...Marty in the back seat with a come hither look. Marty being pulled over for speeding. Marty slouching down in the front seat with shades and leather gloves. Maybe with a hat too.

Alas, there are no Marty pictures with the car. I also noticed Marty-gear, like Marty switchplate covers. Marty italian charm thingies. Marty jewelry box (probably for the Marty italian charm bracelets).

I hope he has someone looking into having AUTHORIZED stuff. Nothing worse than unauthorized products.

By the way, I have a new line of Leper Pop items for sale. Including the new poster of Moist covered in asscake. Gee, is that a really big candle or are ya just glad to see me?


keysunset said...

1. There are LOTS of marty casey items on ebay, but I only look at the auctions linked from The mods there try to verify that it is the real deal stuff and not just someone in their home making knock-off mc/lh items.

2. reports Night Stalker got cancelled! Effective immediately! They won't even show the second part of last week's "to be continued" story. Not that I cared. But how crass is that! So here's my wrap-up of the short lived show: Carl rots in jail, Jane (the photographer) dies at the hand of the gun carrying motorcycle maniacs, and Perry (the female crime reporter foil to Carl) is finally determined by everyone at her newspaper to be so obnoxious that they push her off the roof of the building. Now that she and Carl (the crime beat reporters) are "indisposed" their rival newspaper scoops all the stories and puts the "Beacon" out of business. The end.

3. Best quote read today: I want to make people laugh and love life and love watching all my friends making each other laugh. - Penn Jillette.

jen fan said...

My dictionary must be broken because I don't think Dave is melancholy at all. Melancholy persons don't dance in the street or flit across bars. Don't you want to go to a street dance with him?
He is a bastard though. I'd make sure I have my own ride home.
Back to the grindstone....

Aunt Nina said...

By the way, I have a new line of Leper Pop items for sale. Including the new poster of Moist covered in asscake. Gee, is that a really big candle or are ya just glad to see me?


Sid told me that it's just a really big candle.

village idiot said...

Ahh, good tip, Key. Never thought of going to the source. Duh. Not that I can afford to buy a car. I can't even afford to get to the car. Or get the gas to get the car home.

Night Stalker cancelled, eh? There are only dozens of shows I wish would be cancelled, and they choose one I might have watched if I could have remembered?

Nina, how exactly does Sid know this?

My next photo images will be of the Lepers covered only in Little Debbie Banana Twins. These work well due to the creme filling. Simply pull them apart and they stick.

I'll also be doing Banana Twin appliances. And a Cristo-like Banana Twin fence. I want to be a Banana Twin Warhol.


keysunset said...

No, I don't think your dictionary is broken, jen fan, you just have your own opinion, is all. Let's agree to disagree, or not.

House seemed a bit disappointing tonight. Wish I'd spent my time re-reading old Leper Pop blog entries. I came in after this party got started so I am still getting great laughs from Sid & Moist's early stuff and the comments made in response.

Jules, I think I would read CMK in novel form, but if Sid keeps posting these, I can just print them out and put them in my own leatherette bound notebook.

Moist, have we missed your birthday yet?! Hope it was/is/will be a great day! Get out and light that candle!

Jules said...

Hmmm, good point, Key. That would certainly save me some cash...

Jen Fan, I love that you've got a sense of humor. That makes me happy.

And "frodo emerald devotee"??? I've got a stalker! I feel so special! Sign me up for the next RockStar, cause I'm gonna be famous! (As soon as I can stop myself from copmulsive use of exclamation points, that is. Ah, that's better.)

keysunset said...

copmulsive ? Jules what have you been drinking?! Are you DURNK, or is your dictionary broken?

ha ha ha ha ha *keysunset laughs manically on the way to bed*

Jules said...

Um. I had a lot more exclamation points, but I felt silly and went back and deleted a few before I posted. And I'm drinking cold medicine. Want some?

Sid F'er said...

I bet Dave would take a shot or two of that cold medicine.

keysunset said...

And Dave would probably add a side of fresh ice water to chase the lingering drops of cold medicine.