As I slough through life I note moments that could be blogworthy. Unfortunately I don't have time to develop all these ideas. Sometimes I do and they end up sucking. So here are some random notes I need to dispose of because they couldn't stand on their own or I didn't have the time and patience to nurture them properly. Same reason I don't have kids.
The Bourbon Street cops on duty watching the World Series with me didn’t notice the drunk girl braiding the police horse’s mane. The horse didn’t seem to mind, but I’m sure the cop took some shit when he turned the horse into the stable.
Notes from the Friendly Skies
Coming back from Atlanta this week I was seated next to a grandma from Abilene reading an article offering evidence that demons are, in fact, fallen angels. She only tried to talk to me once, but I quickly bit the head off the bat I keep in my carry-on bag just for that very occasion. It doesn’t taste anything like chicken, but it was worth it.
Notes from The Galleria
The Bebe mannequins are pretty hot, but Versace Couture is a close second. Even the ones without arms.
Being a shoe salesman at Nordstrom’s is probably a great way to meet hot women, but in the end you’re still a shoe salesman and even your employee discount probably won’t matter much.
I try to look menacing so that people leave me alone, but I have a feeling that I just look kind of annoyed instead. It still seems to work most times.
Conversation from the Le Pavillon Fitness Center
Her: You can change the channel… I’m almost done working out.
(that president show with Geena Davis is on the small TV in the corner)
(not changing the channel)
Her: There’s probably some sports on or something.
Me: Why would you say that?
Her: Because you’re a guy and you’re working out.
Me: Just trying not to gain any weight with all the food I’m eating down here.
Her: I try to keep snacks in my room but still eat a lot.
(while walking out the door)
Me: Have a good night.
(change the channel to playoff baseball)
Postscript: Bread pudding isn’t as bad as it sounds, particularly with a warm caramel rum sauce.