The Next Great American Band - December 14

I see it there on the DVR - Next Great American Band (1 New) - Friday, December 14. But I'm not inspired to hit "select" on the remote. Maybe it's because Juliette and the Licks and Sufrajett were right in my face last month trying to kick in my teeth when I went to see them at a nondescript club down the street from a liquor store with metal bars on the windows. After that, watching a coached studio audience sway their arms to a condensed version of a Rod Stewart song by a band that is crying about missing their families just doesn't seem so rock and roll. Maybe it's because three chicks in a band called Broad Tosser made me pay attention to their set when I was just planning to chill out with bowl of Earle's Famous Chili at Quencher's Saloon two weeks ago. I felt like an ass for making fun of girl bands while they were "trying to figure out how to tune their guitars" after they plugged in and proved that they're more rock and roll than me and my Teena Marie posters will ever hope to be. After being schooled by those girls, what can I possibly learn from a "judge" whose music I can hear while waiting for my next teeth cleaning. Maybe it's because four guys from Texas called The Von Ehrics followed us home after a gig to crash on our living room floor in their sleeping bags before piling back into their van the next day with all their equipment for a show in Milwaukee. When you hear them perform Highway Junkie you know it has more meaning and credibility than anything a bunch of 14 year-olds are going to perform as soon as they finish their math homework.

Live music is better. You might need a cup of coffee the next morning. It might even ruin television for you. But trust me - that's not a bad thing. I've never regretted missing a night of television. I have regretted missing too many concerts.

Thank you to Juliette and the Licks, Suffrajett, Broad Tosser, and The Von Ehrics for reminding me of this.

Oh, and Simon Fuller and Mark Burnett - fucking bite me.