So walking home tonight I slipped on some ice and went down hard. Like hit by Scott Stevens hard. To quote Greg Giraldo, you know you're old when people's first reaction when you fall is concern instead of laughter. Fortunately nobody was around to confirm I'm an old man, and I managed to make it home without any assistance or wisecracks. Upon arrival, I informed the Mrs. that I had a bruised knee, fractured elbow and cracked rib with a possible collapsed lung. After 1-1/2 years of medical school and further examination, she felt qualified to inform me that I had a healthy knee, a sore elbow, a possible bruised rib, and a knack for exaggeration.
F'er needs a new pair of shoes.