I recently learned that my son likes popsicles. He had never told me of his popsicle penchant, so I never bought any. Then I saw him eating one. He said, “I really like popsicles.” So, I bought some. I ended up eating most of them.
I bought two types of popsicles: the cherry/grape/orange combo pack and the Firecracker pack. Firecracker popsicles are the same as Bomb Pops, engineered with a peculiar, yet suckable, ensemble of an immaculate cherry nose cone, a refreshing lemon body, and the enigmatic blue raspberry propulsion system. Propulsion system – sounds delicious!
Most people don’t know the origins of the blue raspberry flavor. Why, raspberries are red, gosh-darn-me-socks! (as my Uncle Harv used to say) The popular understanding is that the raspberry flavor was doused with blue food coloring (around the time when unnatural looking foods came into vogue – somewhere around the invention of TV dinners and edible sock puppets) to differentiate it from cherry, strawberry and red currant. As is the case with most popular views, this one is wrong. The true origin lies in the early Incan culture and can be explained by neuroscience. The Incas were the first to correlate the effects of the consumption of raspberries with depression.
The Incan people lived on the dangerous terrain of the
As it happened, Ewald Bonebreak, one of the descendants of a rare surviving Incan, became a chemist for a food additive company in the 1940’s. Luckily, the legend of chupu a’awi llakilla was passed down for generations to him. When faced with the challenge of finding a way to make raspberry flavoring stand up and say “Hey, there are too many damn red flavors!”, Ewald reached into his family bag of heritage . By then the depressive connotation of the English word “blue” had unmasked its dreary face, thus affording Ewald the opportunity to unite the tasty, tongue-staining tandem.
Biological research has since discovered that 99% of a raspberry’s mass consists of bummedoutisol – a chemical greatly associated with depression. The other 1%, ironically, is made up of red raspberry flavoring.Most raspberry-induced depression goes unnoticed in today’s society. The depression is noticeable, but there are so many other sources of bad vibes, it’s hard to pin it all on the raspberry. Plus, people are fooled by the joy they experience when eating blue raspberry flavored popsicles.