Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Sid In The City

One thing we don't like here at Leper Pop is being told what to do. In fact, we'll be less inclined to do whatever it is we're told. For example, say the Mrs. wises up some day and leaves me. The next week Crystal Bernard moves in next door and asks me to come over and help her connect her DVD and cable and stuff. I do. Then she asks me over to help hang some pictures. Then she comes over for some restaurant recommendations. I might be thinking I would ask her out. But if you told me that I needed to ask her out, then I would not just to defy you. I'd have to be a big creep to her and ask out the pregnant girl with no personality working at the Subway shop down the street. Get it? And don't try that reverse psychology crap, either. Moist Rub has a degree in that shit and will see it a mile away.

Remember when Rock Star ended and everyone was telling us what to write about? Yeah, that's right, the blog could have been huge, but instead we showed you who was boss and tortured you with all this drivel the last two years.

However, after my last post a commenter named Sarah J something posted a question asking why I wasn't showing any love to Sex in the City. It seemed like a legit inquiry and, looking back, it did seem like a rather incomplete post without some detail. So here it is...

Top Ten Reasons Sid Thinks Sex In The City Sucks

1. It’s seems to be heavy on the relationships. I’m a guy. Do I need to elaborate?

2. They’re always getting together and eating and drinking and talking. I don’t enjoy doing that with other people so why would I want to watch them do it?

3. They seem to whine a lot. I have my own problems. Like trying to keep the green sauce off my chin while eating a burrito. I don’t need to hear about their pretend television problems.

4. The guys on there are better looking than me. That makes them douchebags. I don’t find shows with good-looking guys very entertaining. That’s why all the best sitcoms pair the dopey guy with the hot wife. To appease us unmodel types. George Clooney is the exception – he can pull off the good-looking bit without making me suffer from low self-esteem. Hell, even Danny DeVito hangs out with him.

5. Although I find Kristin Davis attractive, I wouldn’t give the others a second look and would even prefer to avoid the first look if at all possible. Guys are pretty stupid, and I will watch a bad show if they put enough good-looking girls in it (e.g. Las Vegas). As long as they don’t whine too much.

6. I like New York City and I’d rather not believe that all the women there are like that.

7. I think they dress in designer clothes and eat at all the hip restaurants. No need to do that unless you make 8 figures a year. I’m not really sure what they do for a living, but I don’t think it’s 8 figures type stuff. Why don’t you skip one of your little bitch sessions and give some time or money to a soup kitchen or something.

8. They never seem to be having any fun. Maybe if they’d drop the drudgery routine they might find a guy who doesn’t want to toss them through the windshield of the nearest taxi.

9. Because it’s not football.

10. Finally, the theme music is annoying. Whatever happened to good theme music like the Theme from Shaft?

There you have it, gentle reader. Hope that answered your question. Just don't expect a movie review.

1 comment:

del said...

Do I detect a little "protesting too much" there, Sid? That's ok, your secret's safe with me. ;)