Steve Martin titled his third album “Comedy Is Not Pretty!” and if you’ve ever tried to relate a comedy bit that you’ve seen another comic do, you know it couldn’t be more true. Well, I’m having the same problems writing about this trip to Costa Rica. Despite my Pulitzer level writing, my Carrot Top good looks, and my Ansel Adam-like photography skillz, I’ll never fully be able to relate what a great country it is and how awesome the people are. So I’ll finish this off with one last tale and just encourage you to visit if you ever get the chance.
Mid-week we scheduled a kayak trip and after a drive back to town we met our guide at the small shack where the tours depart. We met our guide Rudolpho, who spoke pretty good English and started with a tour of the small garden around the building. After that we donned some very fashionable lifevests and took off for the mangroves in our bitchin’ kayaks. Some good wildlife in the mangroves and a lesson in the different types of mangroves and seeds, and how the trees sow the seed, how nature grows the seed, and who eats the seed. If you get that reference, I want to be your friend.
We then paddled ashore a thin strip of beach that separated the mangroves from the gulf, did a little swimming to cool off, ate some cookies and cut up a pineapple that Rudolpho had brought along, and then paddled off to look for dolphins and watch the sunset.
We developed a pretty good rapport with Rudolpho, and I want to be him when I grow up. He lives in Costa Rica six months of the year and works as a tour guide. But the even sweeter part is that he married an Italian woman, so he spends the other six months on the year bartending in Italy making Mojitos. Me, I make spreadsheets six months out of the year, take a one week vacation, and then make spreadsheets the other six months of the year. But I digress.
I was practicing my Spanish with him and at one point he stopped paddling and looked at me and asked, “Where did you learn Spanish, from a book?” Well, I tried to learn it from watching my favorite game show Aprieta y Gana, but kept getting distracted by the cleavage. But that comment was even funnier after what happened when we got back to the shack…
I was in the shower area rinsing off for the ride home, while the Mrs. was getting the rest of our stuff together. She saw him quickly getting a backpack together and found out he was running late for class, and asked what class he was taking. He said he had to take it as part of his job and it was “to learn how to kill people in the water.” After noticing the confused/shocked look on the Mrs.’ face while telling him that’s probably not it, he then said “then how you say, bury people in the water?”
We both had to part ways before she could figure out exactly what class he was taking, but I’m just glad we didn’t book the tour for the following week.