There's no TV on Saturdays. Nothing worth watching anyway unless you're a college football geek. And don't be one of those. Get out and do something. I'll be on my bike pissing off soccer moms and dodging their Chevy Suburbans as they race to Starbucks for a fix before they're due back for pick up at dance class.
However, if you choose to stay home and do something, put on some tunes. Turn it up. Clean out your closet. You're never going to fit into those pants again so get rid of them. Burn all those capri pants while you're at it. You'll thank me later.
Don't know what to listen to? Yeah, yeah, Marty is all cute and everything, but there's more to life than just hanging out in trees. Remember all the good stuff you used to listen to before you started getting your music from reality shows and the soundtrack to CSI? Still stuck? Then try some Frank Black. Listen to it and pretend you're Moist Rub if you want. That's what I do.
Frank Black - I Love Your Brain
As always, this is for sampling purposes only, so if you like it then go buy the 8 track. If you don't know what an 8-track is then step away from the blog and get back to the O.C. forum. In fact, everyone just step away from the blog and have a good weekend. We'll be here when you get back. I promise.
17 comments:
So...the prodigal MR returns and everyone flocks to his comment spot and proposes marriage and sundry, and here's the hard-workin' Sid, busting his ass off to make us all laugh.
Well, prodigals are way overrated. Especially when you are here encouraging your devoted readers to spontaneously combust into their own Clean Sweep-a-thons! And cracking me up with your 8-track/OC comments. And--
Uh sorry. Gotta run. Another fool just proposed marriage over at This is MR's Life...
(welcome back both)
Step AWAY from the computer? You're insane, man. Besides, I already had it surgically attached to my hip.
Devious D, none of us are proposing to Sid because we fear the Invincible Mrs. F'er, who rules with an iron tongue and a wet wrist. Or something.
Sid IS right about Saturdays, tho. Nuthin on. Or at least, nothing worth discussion. Music time!
Well, *I* thought Sid was mad at me. I don't get most of the channels. I haven't heard of some of the people mentioned. I'm as much fun to be around as Spock. Hey, was "Spock" a first name or a last name?
I don't want to clean my closets. I'm afraid of what's in there. I will so fit into those size 4 leather pants again. Perhaps after rotting in the grave for several months. That will be in my will. Dig me up after six months and put those pants on me.
Actually I want to be creamated or made into pet food (or Soylent Green). In either case, I can then be poured into the pants. So I WILL fit into them someday.
I don't know what O.C. is. It's just not as funny when you have to explain all the humour to the Village Idiot, is it?
Sid, really, there was a time when I was more than a spud. I had my own weight set. I did aerobics religiously (that's the extent of my religion). And I can guarantee you'd be pedaling far less if you fill your shoes and bike gloves with pointy pebbles, duct tape same pebbles to your butt.
Having pain when you walk, sit, stand, or hold things (or just watching that glass fall to the floor when you THOUGHT you had a grip on it) really sucks. Multiply that pain by five years.
Therefore, I NEED the blogs. I can enjoy the humour in the blogs (once explained) and any comments. I like LOTS of comments because that will distract me from the pain. And MY comments can help put people to sleep. See? Two-in-one blogs!
Andree
I have to agree with amai about holding back on the proposals to Sid out of respect for Mrs. F'er. Well, that and that I haven't lost my grip on reality so completely (yet) that I'm going to propose marriage based solely on the wit exhibited in a blog (that goes for Moist and Sid) or watching them on t.v. (Marty).
Of course, I'm obviously a great match for any of them, I run (Marty ran on tv), I don't like capris (Sid said to burn them so we're on the same page), I use "positive procrastination" (like Moist Rub)...compatibility scores through the roof! ;)
Was is Sid or Moist who recommended the Beth Hart DVD? Does recommended have two cc?
I got the Beth Hart some weeks ago ... She's amazing and I felt for her when she talked about being clean and sober. That first piano thing is ammmmazing ... wowie.
You two gents can be like Oprah's book club ... You know, encouraging folks to spend the dough on the dames and the dollies. I love you so what the hell? Why do people want to marry you though? Me thinks a bucket of KFC and a couple of cases of Yueling would be the to go. I can do my own masturbatory thing on the ground when nobody is looking. Honestly, Beth, that was gross.
Can't help it, long for the Marty all day long now ... Like Humphrey Bogart with marbles running through his fingers ... Martin Strawberries Xaxier Frozen whatever ...
I feel chastened tonight ... Leper Poper = Magnificent Obsession.
Somebody wrote LeperPop would be all over CNN and this made me smile my Mona Lisa smile -- loved it, hope so.
Leper Hopeful! How can you not propose solely based on wit? A witty person is a gem. They're pretty smart to catch all those things during the shows, and to use the things in a humourous manner. Along with making mental connections to other things that would be darned funny in combination with the show things.
Who cares what's on the driver's license? It's all subject to change anyway. "brn hr" becomes "no hr" and 6' become 5'10" and 200 lbs becomes 250 lbs. We're going to age or die. If we age, we'll end up looking like crap or crepe paper.
When I've reached the tottering fossil stage, I want someone who's going to crack me up. I saw just the playful couple walking along the street. He was threatening to frog jump over the hydrant. They had to be 85 or so. She's telling him he's going to break a hip. There was soooo much love. They looked like two kids and first loves. Not on the outside. But the inside parts they were really two kids in love.
Yeah, I wanna have power chairs and race my pruned spouse. Woo hoo!
Andree
Sid officially reccommended Beth Hart, but we both want to have her bung babies.
Magnificent Obsession is a great book - there's my first rec. Call me Oprah and jump up and down on my couch.
It's an oldie and probably not for everyone, so be forewarned. In fact, it would probably make a great movie starring Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt.
I don't read much fiction, so don't look for many more recs. Mostly stick to WSJ, Forbes and the Victoria's Secret catalog.
Uh, I don't remember reccccccccommending anyone should propose to Sid...
I've finally scrubbed RS tunage from my brain, but had the following songs stuck in my head on Saturday's bike ride:
Frank Black - Western Star
Chicago - Saturday in the Park
Then I had a dream that I was at some Hollywood party, but bailed to go ride bikes with Mig so we could have a wheelie contest.
Didja have a banana seat bike?
That was no banana seat.
YIKES!
OK, weird. 'cuz I've had Creep running through my head today. And I didn't really know it before RS. (Yes, I know I'm supposed to be hip to Radiohead, but frankly I haven't had the time.)
Speaking of longing for the Marty, I've convinced one of the fan clubs to let the hornier among us having a private forum so we can post the sexiest pictures of Marty and express our desires in the lewdest terms imaginable.
I'm not sure it's helping, but it sure is wicked fun.
Email me (amai@applelinks.net) if you want the address & stuff.
Not that it will stop me coming to LeperPop. A girl has to come up for air occasionally. At least me & Mr. AMAI are getting more exercise.
Sounds like fun. Count me in. My dream date with Marty starts with some skee-ball at the county fair. We each take a hand of the giant purple gorilla that I have won for him and walk our gorilla child over to the the funnel cake trailer. Being a new celebrity, they let Marty make a few funnel cakes and a hilarious powdered sugar fight ensues. We eventually get cleaned up, but I playfully lick the last remaining bit of powdered sugar from his ear....
I'll tell you the rest after you send me the address and stuff.
Done. Check your email.
Powdered sugar? I'm exploring my interest in observing Marty in a homo-erotic moment with some hot guy. Are you sure you want to go with powdered sugar? How about freshly squeezed peaches?
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