Numbers – Thought that this might be a long overdue show about bookies, but I was wrong. Gee, another crime show, except with the added excitement of mathematics. Surely inspiring kids everywhere to do both the even and odd numbered problems in their math books.
Bernie Mac – When this first came out Fox played incessantly looping promos throughout the football season showing Bernie sitting on the crapper and yelling at his kids or something. Who says they don’t make quality shows anymore?
What I Like About You – Great tune, good beat, easy to dance to, but I give the TV show of the same name a zero. I’ve never seen it, but if washed up 90210 stars are turning up there it can’t be good.
Supernanny – If this show is about Mary Poppins in a skinsuit and a cape fighting supervillians and cruising the town in some sort of flamethrowing NannyMobile with a hot little sidekick, then count me in. However, if it’s like that Nanny 911 show, then just drown me in cream gravy.
Malcolm in the Middle – I found Dewey fairly amusing the first couple seasons, but unlike the Simpsons, real life child actors age, not always well, and cast was not nearly as talented enough as the Bradys to pull it off and this show just got creepy really fast.
Hope & Faith – Unless Hope and Faith are the names of exotic dancers, not interested.
Reba – I once dated a girl that did a killer karaoke version of Fancy. That’s a famous Reba song in case you’re as ignorant as I am about country music. It has a positive message that if you happen to be a poor chick without any money, you should blow your life savings on a party dress, get cleaned up and whore yourself out to rich guys so you can get a nice house in the ‘burbs and spend your days buying new shoes at the Galleria and not have to live in a shack like your barefoot momma.
Living With Fran – Never heard of it, but I see that “Fran” is none other than Fran Drescher. Unless she’s a mute superhero nanny like the crime-fighting Mary Poppins I described above and only communicates with a horn like Harpo Marx, I’d rather spend my Friday nights bowling with Geraldo Rivera.
Returning Mid Season:
Less Than Perfect – No kidding. Friday nights are so lame I can’t even muster up the inspiration to properly bust their balls. I guess that means we should all be out at happy hour or ballroom dancing or something. Cheers!