Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Rock Star - Finale Moist Rub

Tonight’s finale was the most amazing finale I’ve ever seen. It was so amazing, the only word I can think of to describe it is "amazing". Nothing could ever be more amazing than tonight’s amazing finale. The amazing amazingness was amazingly amazing. The word amazing must have been used at least 30 times tonight. I lost count after 10, as I was wearing my socks. I wondered why everybody was using the word amazing so much. Then, we broke for commercial - an Amazing Race commercial. It all became clear to me. This series was created for the specific purpose of promoting the Amazing Race show. Having figured that out, I turned off the TV since it no longer mattered who won - it’s all been a farce, just like Better Off Dead.

Brooke welcomed us wearing an elegant black dress thing (I’m not much into fashion so I don't know what it's called) with her hair done up ala Charlie’s Angels. Not a good look (the hair, not the dress thing) for her, but I put up with it the best I could. Sometimes, at night, when I'm all alone, I know she misses me. She introduced the ex-Rockers in order of disappearance: Dana, Will, Neal, Heather, Daphna, Brandon, Tara, Jessica, Dom Deluise, Deanna, Ty, Jordis and Suzie. My face actually eked a smile when I saw Brandon. I guess I missed the big lug. The ex-Rockers sequestered themselves in the choir den.

After a recap of this summer’s exhibition of the life of a rock star, they set the scene by summarizing the remaining rockers. JD transformed from a string of controversy into a dynamic performer. Marty brought himself from chaos to become a master of intensity. MiG went from a stage performer to a rock star (but not quite, as we’ll learn later). Dave was excited as hell and everything was awesome for him. I think he was hopped up on the goop. He beat Brooke to the raising hand punch and asked the guys who thought he would win. They all raised their hands, but JD was slow on the draw. Dave asked JD why he didn’t do the "rock star thing" and drive his new Civic into the pool. He answered, because rock stars don’t drive Civics. Do you have a Civic, Dave? I don’t think so. Actually, JD’s wit surprised me when he said he needed a place to live if the INXS thing didn’t work out. Nicely done, Jebediah. Since he took care of that, there is no need for me to spoof the living-in-the-car drama. Dave asked Marty about his leaving the mansion experience. Marty equated it with his metamorphosis (Franz Kafka?) and he was ready to move on, since they changed the locks and he was now a giant insect. Then, Dave addressed MiG, "Oh, are you still here? There’s an open seat next to Suzie."

MiG commenced the sing-off with Bohemian Rhapsody. He began with a tender, mournful vocal that reminded me to call my mother (but not until the show was over, and the blog was written, and the dogs were let out. By then it would be too late to call her, so I’ll call her the next time I hear MiG sing. I'm going to miss my Mommy.). MiG has made his own transformation with tonight’s performance. The MiGster extricated Donny Osmond, and replaced him with JIMMY OSMOND! It is truly sad. Not MiG - me. It is sad that I can decipher the essence of Jimmy Osmond from Donny Osmond. As penance, I will refrain from listening to my Shaun Cassidy albums for a whole week. MiG tried his best to rock out. Flailing air guitar wheels while standing back to back with Rafael, prancing resolutely on stage, crooning with death at his heels - he was quite valiant, the poor little rockeroid. To make matters worse, his voice cut out every now and then. I don’t know if it was due to bad mic-manship or if there were technical difficulties with the mic, itself. The bottom line is he couldn’t out-Bohemian-Rhapsody Suzie, and he’s been doing this for a living, and she’s been sent home and then brought back again for the ex-Rocker march of shame, so what does that tell you? I’m sorry to say that at that point, the crayon was back in the box. As a final insult to MiG, Nate didn’t even bother to tune the gong. I was a little bummed they did not conduct the post performance ridicule. I wanted to hear the INXS tell MiG he goofed on his song choice.

JD began his rendition of You Can’t Always Get What You Want with a hypnotizing a capella chant. Eventually, he channeled the spirit of John Cougar Mellonhead to help him with the first verse until he could chunka-chunka his way through the chorus. JD seems a little heavy on his Charlie Chaplin feet. They may want to consider some ballet lessons for him. It worked for Willie Gault. He borrowed some snake arm moves from Marty and then disrespected his stool (which is something he should keep behind closed doors) on his way to a pretty good performance. I finally got the results back from the vocal lab on JD. The quality of his vocal (and, subsequently, the reduction of my irritation) is inversely proportional to the number of instances of that guttural texture he paints onto notes. He limited that tonight, and I would like him to know I appreciate that.

Marty was last to take the oral exam. His thesis was Wish You Were Here. He chose this song to show the INXS that his initial performance of this song was no fluke and this is who he has become. I originally hoped he’d sing Pretty Vegas, but I’m glad he didn’t. He’s too upstanding to stoop to such devilry. Plus, I’m pretty sure he thinks that song blows. Or maybe that’s me. I get us confused, sometimes. During Marty’s performance they showed Jordis smiling like a proud sister. And Garry Beers sunk into deep introspection until he realized he left the water running in his bathtub. Marty wished we were there similarly to the way he sang it the first time. It may have been a little less intense, but that could be due to our familiarity with him and this song. He finished it off with a statuesque pose and threw a few hammer pound outs to his buddies, the ex-Rockers.

Time to get rid of MiG. This is where most of the amazings spewed forth. Tim thanked the final three for their time, effort, talent and the ride they gave him to the show. He portended that each would have a career of amazing caliber. Tim didn’t let the boys dangle very long before he lopped off MiG. JD started making out with MiG until Marty was able to separate them with Nate’s gong. MiG surprised everybody by taking the bad news warmly and respectfully. There were SWAT team members posted back stage and in the audience in the event that MiG lost it and began pelting everyone with rotting sushi he’s been collecting in his pockets from each meal at the mansion. They were unneeded (the SWAT team and the rotting portions of sushi). MiG thanked everyone around the world and he loves everybody. Then he took his seat in the ex-Rocker den, with hugs abound.

Tim announced that the INXS would perform with the final two Rockers, Marty and JD. Hearing that, the House Band rushed out to see if they could get there waiter jobs back. We returned from commercial to see a laser light show with the wistful sounds of Don’t Change brewing in the dark. They wouldn’t let us see who was to sing first. I kept screaming at the TV, TURN ON THE LIGHTS, TURN ON THE LIGHTS, TURN ON THE LIGHTS! To shut me up, my neighbor rode his Harley into my family room and flashed his headlight on me. So, I shot him in the face. Finally, we were allowed to see Marty standing on stage with the INXS. I couldn’t hear the guitar very well, similar to their DVD, Live Baby Live. Tim mustn’t be very confident in his guitar playing or they have a rotten sound guy. Marty was not engrossed in this song. About half way through I knew the INXS was not right for our pal, Marty Casey. It was as if Marty was holding back so the band could keep up with him. Marty executed a suave and reassured conductor move to culminate his final performance as a statement of his personal growth.

JD took the stage next to perform What You Need. JD is more Michael Hutchence than Marty, to be sure. He was much more into the song and into the band than Marty was. He sang the song well, limiting his guttural pitfalls, which, again, I appreciate. It was over.

The INXS had two choices: pick up where they left off with JD as MH, or have some balls and blaze new trails with Marty.

Before the final decision reared itself, Dave chimed in. He declared that this was the best summer of his life. I guess it’s not really that great being a rock star if being on this show is all it takes to top your summer charts. Tim grabbed the microphone from Dave, bonked him on the head with it and got down to business. He told JD that he sings with passion and is an amazing performer. He thinks Marty is adaptable and has become a riveting front person. Having seen many Lovehammers shows, I could have told Tim that Marty was already a riveting front person, but it never came up in any of our conversations. All we ever talked about were Tim's feet. Hmm. However, Marty has become a more versatile front person.

Finally, Tim told JD he was right for their band. JD dropped to the floor and prayed to Allah as Marty backed up to give him the spotlight. That whole Casey family is one class act. Better than the Osmonds. The INXS deemed JD a "rock stah" and toasted him with a shot of Australian Kangaroo Piss Moonshine. After he was done puking, Tim told Marty how impressed they were with him and suggested he opens for the INXS on tour. Marty grinned, "Or vice versa." Dave offered Marty his guitar services and alternating nights with Carmen (Dave’s been having a little trouble keeping up). Marty congratulated JD, stating JD got what he deserved - a soon to be failed tour and album and a one way ticket back to the car.

The brand new INXS congregated on stage, while Marty leaped over to the ex-Rocker den to be with his real friends. The JD imbued INXS performed their new song, Easy Easy, which is a blatant rip off of INXS’s I Need You Tonight, with a little bit of Pretty Vegas mixed into the chorus. If I was the INXS, I’d sue those bastards. They cut to Marty who seemed to be enjoying the tune, with Tara looming in the background wallowing in bitchdom. The crowd didn’t look too enthused with the new single. I wasn’t impressed with it, either, but sometimes it takes me a while to feel a song/album. It took me about a month to get into Bad Religion’s The Gray Race, so I’ll give this song a chance. I’ll even give JD a chance, because I’m not into negative vibes, man. Congrats to ya, Mate JD. And Congrats to Marty and the rest of the Lovehammers and to me, because I didn’t really want Marty to win, knowing that all he needed was the exposure. Marty, if you’re reading this, meet me at the Valley Friday night - I’m sure you'll have nothing better to do.


Jules said...

Wow, MR, I knew you were snarky, but I didn't realize you had such a mean streak. ;-)

Devious D said...

Barbecue this.

dalebud said...

MiG,Marty and JD were all sacked and OB gave Dana & Will the gig as a Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour reincarnation.

AMAI said...

The show was awesome and I'm very happy with the result. Looking forward to the show and I hope they play Massey Hall in Toronto.

Anyone else in T.O. interested to go see it?

Anonymous said...

Viva la Lovehammers!

Or is it le? I should have paid attention on class.

Jules said...

I had to tape the show and haven't seen it yet, but I've heard the result. Soooooo... *Warning. Silly Lord of the Rings analogy ahead.*

Marty and JD grappled at the edge of Mount Doom and JD wrested INXS from Marty's grasp only to topple into the mosh pit to slowly melt in the fires of mediocrity below.

And now the Lovehammers head back to the Shire, armed with the wisdom and experience they have gained from their journey, to vanquish the JDidiots who have crept out of Mordor. They will be victorious and all the grateful rock-hobbits will look to them for guidance and rock 'n roll bliss.

Gandalf the Moist and F'erond do not sail away to the Havens, but instead lead their new band of Comment Commandoes into the forests to snark about Galadriel's wardrobe and the the stubborness of dwarves.

Thus ends the adventures of the Fellowship of RS:INXS.

Andree said...

Dream scenario one:

Marty and the Lovehammers do open for INXS at huge stadium. Record crowds attend. Everyone leaves after Lovehammers' finale.

~~~insert cricket sounds here~~~

"Yup, sure can hear me now."


devious d said...

Dalebud, brilliant.

Andree, that was exactly what I was planning to do.

Am now doubly ruing that I wasn't clued in or cool enough to know to go see the Lovehammers before all this went down. I blame this on Mr. D.

Off to eBay my old INXS autographs...out with the old, out with the new...

L A Ray said...

Moist you decided to play hookie huh?

Sid F'er said...

The image of Mig stashing sushi in his pocket is going to crack me up all day.

Andree said...

I don't see what's so funny about sushi in the pocket when he had it in his pants last time...what do you think those bulges were, anyway?


Mehgs said...

Seriously, what was up with the gong?

I really think JD was the right choice because all I could think of when I was watching the flashbacks was how much I missed the Marty who did Take Me Out.

Can't wait to hear what the Lovehammers come up with next!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this great blog. Loved all the humor. I think except for Marty's performances, your commentary on each show was the only reason I watched Rockstar. It has been fun.


Anonymous said...

FILM_TV_GIRL said...

Sorry, a little too tired right now to sign up for a blog account, but I did want to say I've enjoyed this site. Amazing wit, amazing writing. Who are you guys really, late night talk show writers? ;) I kinda got into this site late in the game, but I've thoroughly enjoyed it.

Like another blogger on here said, I wish I could say I was into The (I think it'd be Les) Lovehammers before this show, but I guess all that matters is I am now. That's how I found another band, through some mainstream TV source, but 10 years later and I'm still a fan of theirs. So I look forward to being a Lovehammers and Marty fan for a long time. And a fan of Sid F'er and Moist Rub, too.

I hope I did this blog comment thingy right.


Anonymous said...

S'fer and Moist, thank you SO much for this blog! Jules, thanks for the LOTR analogy! LOL

I am going to miss seeing Marty perform on my tv every week. At least I finally woke up enough last week to put a videotape in and capture a little of the "amazing" performer he has become.

I'd never leard of Lovehammers (I live in North Carolina where cutting edge music from California takes three years to get here y'know) but I am hoping that on my birthday next week (same day as Marty's, though way not same year), I'll get some Lovehammers CD's.

Love you guys!

Anonymous said...

Lovehammers aren't from California. They're from Chicago, which will take even longer to get to NC since they have to go through LA first.

AMAI said...

They're from Chicago, which will take even longer to get to NC since they have to go through LA first.

But they'll film the videos in Toronto because it's so much cheaper. We're the New L.A.

Heh heh.

I can't wait to rewatch my tape and read along with the two finale reports. Great work guys!

L A Ray said...

"We're the new L.A." - Yeah LOL

Anonymous said...

I thought that I'd enjoy your posts based on links from rockband.com, but you're just plain mean, and "amazingly" unfunny.

Andree said...

But wait...there's more to mock:

Yes, that's right, for just $24.95, you too can join INXS. Shoulda told all those rockers that in the first place.

For only an extra $20.00 you can move up to the PREMIUM membership (oooh, ahhh) and get a DVD, with plenty of mocking potential.

I wonder if we'd get a membership card? Think it would be paper? Or plastic?


AMAI said...

I thought that I'd enjoy your posts based on links from rockband.com, but you're just plain mean, and "amazingly" unfunny.
BWAHAHAHAH! Sounds like an MSN bleater, "Please stop bashing everyone, please! Think of the children."

I guess that Anon person won't enjoy the 'chops, then.

Did you guys see the one with MiG as Mini-Me?

Andree said...

Can we please have a proper Leper message board? I like the people that have posted comments here. I like the humor. And people are nice enough to explain the humor if I don't get it.

Something's been bugging me about the finale. I think that both MiG and Marty knew they wouldn't win. I mean KNEW knew, not just kind of thought they had a 1-in-3 chance, but had bene TOLD they wouldn't win.

Especially apparent during Marty's performance, which you picked up on, Moist. And, when each was let go, they didn't seem all that devastated. Marty glowed and applauded.

I'm thinking once sequestered, they were told not who would win, but that they wouldn't win. So they could deal with it in privacy. And get over it the best they could. Before the show, and not needing the afore-mentioned SWAT team.

"Here's your room, order what you want from room service, and by the way, you aren't going to win, one of the other two will, get over it."

The WYWH Marty performance seemed more directed towards INXS, with a sadness and without the anger.

But I guess...well...we all decide for ourselves what our heaven and hell IS, and for INXS, one person's idea of a hellish choice is INXS's heavenly dream come true.

I'm rather disenchanted with INXS. Yeah, I think J.D. will be a good match, the more I read about INXS. Because I don't KNOW that much about the band. Like personal stuff. Just a bit of the music. And I thought we'd get to know more about the band itself during the show.

It would have been more interesting to have "Big Brother" type cameras on both the rockers and on the band, with those "private comments" kind of things.

And, uh, ditch that Big Brother show altogether.

I'm really missing the Blogs. That's why we NEED a message board. For mini-blogs on whatever Sid and/or Moist come up with.

I feel like I'm hanging around in an empty concert hall, after a show, waiting for something cool to happen (er, and most of the lunatics to move their cars out of the way so I'm not in a jam).


AMAI said...

I second Andree's motion. Maybe it's just not something the Lepers feel would be "them."

Pretty soon the INXS tour shuttle bus will wheeze into action - y'all will be kept pretty busy reporting on that.

BB6 cameras would have been awful. No quicker way to breed contempt, okay more contempt.

Oh, yeah, Amazing Race starts Sep 27, this time with kids as young as 8 competing with their older brothers/ sisters/ parents/ aunts/ grandpas. Most of the recapping community feels it should refrain from snarking on chil'ren, but I bet you guys would experience no such restraint!!! And it's on Tuesdays!!

That's it. That's my last suggestion on what to write about. Oh wait, just one more. How about a home disintegration column? That's where you report on what fell apart at your house, and whether it's important enough to spend money/time on fixing.

Andree said...

I think I watched part of one of those Amazing Race shows. There was a little person carrying a side of beef. And a big person whining behind her. I didn't think that was the show for me. Is that the same show?

Anyway, I'd watch if Sid and Moist would comment. Like I said before, with their comments, I might actually have enjoyed some of the terrible educational productions we were forced to watch in university. And because of the humor, I probably would have remembered more of it (and laughed a lot during finals).

Home improvement? If it can't be fixed with a screwdriver, duct tape, a paper clip or any combination of the above, it's probably not worth fixing.

We could plug in stupid things we see in the message boards. Like notices on peanut butter warning people that the product contains nuts and was processed in a place where peanuts and other nuts are packaged.

Or that the Silk Soy Milk "Silk Nog" (tastes as good as Egg Nog, but without the eggs, milk, or nog, available only around the holidays) says it's not to be used as infant formula (or infant nog).


Anonymous said...

It's no suprise that JD won...He fit the suit.


not anonymous just linda said...

"I feel like I'm hanging around in an empty concert hall, after a show, waiting for something cool to happen (er, and most of the lunatics to move their cars out of the way so I'm not in a jam)."

Awww...that sounds so sad. I can relate, however.

It's Friday, and I finally pulled out my mp3 player and gathered up all the Marty songs into one playlist and listened to them over and over, all day long. Next, I'll listen to MOMM.

After that finale, I felt like I'd been socked in the gut, I was so disappointed. All in all, after a few days to reflect, I think that Martyman got the best of the deal.

I think that INXS was looking for a yes man with some, albeit little, vocal talent, someone who didn't want to input much, or insert control of his own as to what the band should do for their career. I think they only want to rehash their previous hits and maybe attempt something sort of new.

Marty obviously isn't a yes man, and seemed to be genuine in his desire to help the band find a new direction. All JD wanted to do was have the band point him in the proper direction and away he'll go. So, yes, in the end, that is the best fit for INXS. It'll just be them and their little lapdog, JD.

Best thing I got out of the show was a new voice to obsess over, worst thing I got out of it, I'll now have to call myself a fan of the 'original' INXS, you know, the INXS that had an awesome man and voice fronting it back in the '80's. I'll never be able to feel excitement over a new INXS album again. There's nothing like having to suffer that 'death' yet again.

Obviously, I'm less than thrilled with the outcome, but life will go on. Here's to waiting for the next LH's album. I'm hoping that they'll get 'Trees' out there as a single, and that they make it a blend of what was done by the house band and their own original demo version. I like both, but I didn't really like the house band's sound too much, and the LH's music is a bit too slow, but great all the same. I liked the uptempo sound of the house band's music performance, but I like the darkness of the LH's music. Even though the song itself was somewhat sad, it was still hopeful in that maybe something good could still be salvaged from something gone horribly wrong. Maybe the music could somehow reflect both moods. Ah well....

I third Andree's request. I like this place. But it's so cold and empty now.

Andree said...

Linda, do you think OB: Moist/F'er are gone forever? That's "Our Bloggers".

I think we should just post away in the comments section and try to enjoy ourselves. Maybe they will be thrilled to see that we are still coming here, and see we really do support them.

Or maybe they'll think we're nuts and close the site (gasp).

I hope the site will stay up long enough so that the actual rockers can come and see and get a laugh.

I don't get NBC, so I missed Ellen, but did catch Craig Ferguson with INXS. You'd think the band collectively gave birth to J.D. and they all seem like proud papas. I guess that's okay. And J.D. is like the little kid trying to please his parents...or the sappy puppy that pees on the floor. It's somewhat endearing.

I think the error in the show was not to tell more about the band itself and each member. They just had old guys sitting on pillows criticising.

Not everyone was a fan from the past. So tell us about you NOW.

We never did know what they were looking for, they never told us. And if there is a new Rockstar, they'll be over-run with bad-boy-wannabes on tape. Because that's what this last band wanted.

I started looking around at other sites. I don't really like Survivor. And when reading about the show, everyone posting said that the person they pick as a favorite (a nice person) would probably be eliminated.

Is ANYONE else sick of the rotten people winning things? Winning BECAUSE they are the bad boy? The witch? The creep?

Great Zeus, I studied Psychology. All that crap on TV where the bad people win, it's NOT good for kids. Or adults. One of the best shows psychologically speaking is probably Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Pro-social, pro-helping, kindness, work together as a team.

There's some snarky possibilities there. Because they do a lot of silly things. But there's nobody to really pick on. LOL!

We could pick on the decor choices. Bet that has Sid and Moist salivating. hehehe

I think we should keep posting here. If the guys come back, they can see we'll follow them, because they're them, even if they aren't here.


L A Ray said...

Good & bad are all relative.

Anonymous said...

I'm inconsoable (or however you speel that, ain't there a spell/grammer check here summers?). Marty's gone from my tv. S'fer's locked away with Mrs. 'fer somewhere. Moist Rub is drooling at a BBQ. And I'm still out in that parking lot with you guys waiting for something to happen. I LOVE you guys. Keep posting so I'll have a purpose in life. Ah, besides following Marty's career. Happy B'day to Marty September 26!

Andree said...

Yeah, yeah, L.A. Ray, I know that. I just don't want to tune in shows that have people on there that a cruel, mean, nasty, lying, cheating, etc. people. I don't want to sit through a show in an aggrevated state, thinking how much I just hate that person, and what is wrong with the network for putting that person on the show.

When it gets like that, I do NOT watch the show. I just don't do it. I'm a gal. I thought the Bachelor was going to be some knight in shining armor. They're all cheesy guys. Groping and grabbing and ...THE WOMEN. That was the worst. Sniveling, sneaking, sarcastic wenches. Why, WHY would I want to watch people at their worst? Why does ANYONE want to watch people at their worst?

The show I liked was the one where a bunch of morons competed for money, two hideous families, in a huge mansion. They didn't know who their mystery judges were. It turned out their mystery judges were the very people in the house with them, the maid, butler, chef, etc.

We never know who is judging us. I'm not sure how they could work that into a show again. There are tons of psych experiments that could inspire each episode, like the "Good Samaritan" one.

Guys were on their way to give a speech on the Good Samaritan, and depending on the variable, some did NOT help the guy lying on the side of the street. Something like that.

Or one time the local news wanted to see what a penny was worth. So they set up a hidden camera and put a new shiny penny on the pavement. Nobody picked it up. So they put a few pennies. And more. Pretty soon there was a pile of them. Still, nobody stopped. No, they didn't bring in a dumptruck full of them, but finally someone did stop.

They didn't do that around me. I not only pick up the dirty penny, but I give a somewhat enthusiatic, Homer Simpson "woo hoo" to go along with it. Then I gloat for awhile over my good fortune, and the tax-free income.


Jules said...

Yeah, I never used to consider myself superstitious, but I can't resist the find-a-penny-pick-it-up thing. I guess it never really gave anyone good luck, but it was all about attitude and appreciating the little things in life. Andree - what show was it that had the people on the way to a Good Samaritan seminar? I'd like to see that.

Andree said...

Hey Anon! I think there are enough of us now to hang out together in the parking lot as a group and have a party.

Is the glass half full? Half empty? 4 oz in an 8 oz glass? Is the glass plastic?

We'll have Show and Tell without the "show" part. Find something to bring tomorrow. Anything. A news article. Your favorite book. A wad of chewed gum. Why you like or don't like something. Something interesting. Very interesting, yet stupid.

Like the Corealis effect. Okay, you've seen Katrina and Rita, swirling around, counter clockwise, right? Did you know that's because of the earth's rotation? And that they are clockwise in the Southern Hemisphere?

Studied that in Astronomy. Here's what really got me though, the drain water. It swirls down counter clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and clockwise in the Southern Hemisphere. And the instructor said it doesn't swirl at all at the Equator. NO SWIRLING AT THE EQUATOR.

Yeah. Chew on that for awhile.

He could have been fibbing. I'm not sure the earth isn't flat myself, or if the other continents are just rumours.

Or how about things like "You know you're getting old when..."

Like I went in to have my alternator replaced today. They were so busy, as usual, and I really needed one.

I offered to flash my boobies.

They seemed to take it as a threat.


Andree said...

Jules, that wasn't a show, that was a Psych experiment. Let me look that up.

John Darley and C. Daniel Batson (1973)
Princeton Theological Seminary, 40 students. Half students assigned to talk about "seminary student jobs" and the other half to discuss the Good Samaritan parable.

Three conditions of each group, High-hurry (you're late, haul ass), Intermediate-hurry (they're waiting for you), Low-hurry (might as well head over now, it'll be a few minutes, before they're ready).

All students passed by an alley with a person slumped, who'd cough and moan when passed.

The results were in accordance with the various "hurry" conditions, rather than what they were to be speaking on.

Low-hurry, 63 percent helped.
Intermediate-hurry, 45 percent helped.
High-hurry, 10 percent helped.

Other findings similar, that rural areas are more helpful to others than cities.

And, religious people who claim to be more helpful are not as helpful as they say. LOL!

This is Social Psychology. I liked that class. The professor dude was a hypocrite. I reported him as a hypocrite. And then I wondered why I didn't get in one of the six spots for the grad program. Hmmm.

Now, helping? Me? You betcha. I pulled over at one accident and asked the officer if he needed help. He asked if I was a doctor. I said, no, I was an unemployed car salesperson.

He tilted his head to the side like a dog that's heard one of those unhearable whistles.

Hey, I can direct traffic (which I did do at another accident). I can put pressure on a wound (they always do that on TV). I could bore someone to calm them down.

How many times have you wished for an extra set of hands. Just to hold this or move that. I can be those extra hands. I don't need to be a doctor to talk to someone or put pressure on something or direct traffic. And as soon as someone more qualified comes along and they don't need me, I can leave.

Geez, some lady (see what I mean about boring someone) pretty much passed out behind me one time. And I sat there with her until paramedics arrived. No idea who she was. Her own family backed away. I didn't speak Spanish, she didn't speak English, but I thought it was low-blood sugar or something in that range. She was diabetic. I am hypoglycemic. Same difference.

Jules, ask me more questions I can look up in this over-priced, old textbook, so I can get my money's worth out of it. Those books, that's highway robbery, eh?


Jules said...

Dammit! I was at the equator a few years ago and I could have checked that out, if only I'd known. I'm sure there were bathrooms there, somewhere.

I love it, Andree: The Comment Commandoes Show 'n Tell Tailgate Party! Woo-hoo! Break out the BBQ chicken and the brewskies! The more the merrier!

Jules said...

Andree, you are a veritable fountain of knowledge and humanity. Much coolness. I'm awful at coming up with questions on the spot, but I'll work on it. =) I hear ya about the textbooks. Oy vey, do I hear you about textbooks.

just linda said...


Not sure about our fabulous hosts, they do seem to have gone incognito here of late. I've tried re-reading everything, but it's just not the same.

Anybody else who cares, or doesn't, whatever,

I'm betting they think we're all psycho and are just hoping we'll go away quietly after a bit. I thought I had read something somewhere in here where one of 'them' said they'd be back eventually to do something else, but maybe that one was just trying to appease the 'masses'.

To answer the question of how I found this place, I ran across it via the martycasey.org site.

I don't watch too many reality shows, in fact I had spent many wasted hours watching the 'Real World' for a couple of years prior to Survivor starting up. I avoided Survivor like the plaque, and then, drat that Mark Burnett, I got caught up in the last few weeks of the first show, and then they re-ran it for the summer, and I watched the whole damn thing....I was hooked. Of course, I like Jeff Probst....he's pretty easy on the eyes. I used to watch him on VH-1's Rock n Roll Jeopardy.

The only other 'reality' shows I really like to watch are Nanny 911 (How the hell do these people let their kids get so far out of control?) for humor purposes, and Deadliest Catch on the Discovery channel

(I never knew crab got that big!)(I hate seafood, but after watching this show, I should probably adapt the attitude of eat that which may eat me first before it eats me, frickin' hell! Of course, I wouldn't trust sh@t coming out of the ocean, hell, shouldn't eat anything grown in the earth these days, why the hell are we still here?)

I can absolutely imagine some good Sid and F'er comments on this show (Nanny 911, that is) (Although, they're guys, I assume, they might have some comments for the second show, as well, that may prove fairly witty).

On to my music obsession...I worked 10.5 hours of premium OT today, so I managed to listen to the LH's MOMM cd (many, many, many times, love it)....still gotta wonder why Marty felt the need to do this RS thing when he's obviously talented enough to have his own band?? All I come up with is the need to gain some wider attention. (ya know, hit the mainstream) Think he may have achieved that goal with this RS thing. And, again, he definately got the better deal (I hope, unsure of what nefarious crap that MB and OB:INXS, and CBS sucked him into).

I will be placing an order somewhere to get actual CDS of both the LH's releases. Already paid MSN for MOMM, I saved the other CD, just for this unforseen event, that Marty would end up not being "roit for OB:INXS", just so I'd have some comfort music to indulge myself with.

Ah...on to purchasing new music. I'm afraid that, I, being of Aries persuasion, have allowed my rather hot emotions to sway me into first blush judgement....swore I would not buy any more INXS stuff if MiG or JD won...have decided to throw caution to the wind, as is my perogative, being female, I will probably buy this new CD, just so I can give the music a chance by listening to it through my headphones.

I much prefer music that way, you get to hear so much more via headphones as opposed to 'open air' where outside noise can keep you from hearing all the subtle nuances of both music and voice.

I came home from work today and watched the final moments of the finale....I'll have to begrudgingly admit that lapdog JD may be ok to listen to after all. But.....and a bit huge but it is...he will never, ever be a part of the INXS as I have come to know and love the music over the past 20 some odd years of actual listening. Please forgive me MICHAEL, but it was the music as well as the voice that hooked me oh so long ago, and the music still lives on.

And the music I allowed myself to hear in the finale sounds interesting, albeit, dated, enough for me to want to hear more.

Pet peeve, I saw a video and some text where Marty proclaims Andrew a lyric writing genius.

I would like to know if this is based on his having purchased the INXS "greatest hits" package, or is it based on this 'new music' that has already been laid out by OB:INXS? Michael didn't play an instrument, so I doubt his credits lay in the music writing side of it all. More to the poet side, hence the oft comparison to Morrison. Mad Poet Michael....MPM.

If it's based on the 'greatest hits' package (he should really broaden his INXS horizons just a tad), then AF was not the only credit given, there are only a few solo AF credits. MH was a huge factor in lyrics, which, again, is something they were looking for with this contest....more lyric input.

Music is not a problem, they have their 'formula' down pat, unfortunately, something INXS needs to try and break away from, that 'formula' that so defines their past music.

I base this (and it's only mnsho) info off of the Anthology and the Greatest hits...don't really feel like delving into the whole catalogue, but me thinks the finding would be about the same....I am no expert by any means, but Marty should not give full credit to AF, if that, in fact, was what he based those comments on, the 'greatest hits', I have no idea. Maybe I'm wrong and completely clueless...wouldn't be the first time. Being a hardcore fan for twenty some years probably really doesn't count for a hell of a lot these days....and albums don't really count for much either, apparently (oh, sorry, there goes those Aries emotions again, damn those horns, I keep having them surgically removed, but they just keep growing back, my bane).

And what the hell does Marty need help in the lyric writing department for? LH's lyrics are fine...which, again, leads me to to why he did this show to begin with....to garner a wider listening audience, no harm in that. He's gained me as a fan, and I'm sure, countless others, as my reading of various forums has led me to believe.

Now, JD...lapdog. I will forever believe that this is all he is. Why?

Because, my dear mouseketeers....oops...this isn't the disney channel....(he should hang on to that '96 civic he won instead of 'donating' it to some poor LA family as he claimed, or was forced into doing, as the case may be, wah wah, cry me a river, suck up, blah blah blah, sorry, mean streak setting in (crash n burn). I'm thinking that the "human being" he's got on his arms is either to remind him that that is what he is, or maybe to let the aliens know this is what he is and to go after the rest of us....oops, sorry, no, that's not sour grapes {she says, spitting out a grape seed as she walks off into the sunset}, that's just utter byatchiness. I'm only human after all.

I made myself re-watch the finale, if only to satisfy some curiosities I had and to try to learn not to cringe....I found that in listening to JD sing "Easy, Easy", that he was changing his Elvis tune to try and emulate Michael's voice. ('Scuze me, whilst I barf into my garbage can) Not only that, but he interacts with the band, or trys to, rather, in the same way Michael did (Live Baby Live), (and I notice that Marty does the same thing with his own bandmates, good on ya, mate) and made a rather mad dash to his water bottle, after there had already been a few second music break (again, Live Baby Live), did he even manage to swallow one drop of water? That 'sickens' me, to no end, and only feeds more into my theory of what INXS was really looking for.

I am glad Marty LOST, it wasn't about being the best performer, after all, it was about being 'roit' for 'OB:INXS'.

But I gained a whole music perspective, a new music love, I remembered what passion that music really is, to me. And yes, I am a music JUNKIE. Is there some support group somewhere that I might attend? Or, perhaps, I just need shock therapy...

Ironically, I thank the INXS 'gods' for having made this show if only to lead me to a new voice, Marty's, not JD's.

Alrighty then.....sorry, way too long, I'm in withdrawals. And in suspense, will 'they' ever come back?

Love and Peace

just linda, yet again said...

sorry, blathered on so damn long, I missed an error....'96 civic should be '06 civic, my brain forgot to convert to 2000 thinking....I know the difference. 10 years in the past....need to move forward...but then again, Michael was still alive and all was right in the INXS music world...maybe. Ah, but I would not know the LH music, oh the folly of it all.

Jules said...

Linda - I know that this was only the tiniest piece of your post, but I got so hooked on Deadliest Catch! I was visiting a friend for a long weekend and she sat me down and made me watch a Deadliest Catch marathon with her. I was so depressed when I got home and didn't get the right channel.

Holy crap! Talk about your reality TV. I think I wanted to watch the rest just to make sure, by sheer force of will, that nobody else died. (I only saw about four shows out of one season - not sure which season)Those people are absolutely nuts! I wanted to shake some sense into them, but I couldn't help worrying about them as if I was their mother.

There you go, Andree. That's my show and tell for the day! ;-)

Andree said...

Linda, Jules, I don't have cable. I can't watch the Discovery channel. Do people die from what they catch? There are man-eating crabs? That aren't the itty bitty ones that hang out in certain hairy areas, as those could be considered eating people, right? Do they bite? What do they do? I better look that up, I don't really want someone to give a little too much info on crotch crabs.

The Nanny show that's on regular TV would be good to watch and snark. But again, that's a real hard show to watch. I don't have children, and those "before" scenes are enough to reinforce me not to have children.

Hey, they ought to use all the before clips in Sex Ed classes in high school. That would put a stop to all unprotected sex.

Seen at grocery store:
One of those shelf attachments which has "important new info" on products contained samples of a new fragrance.

No, not for a new perfume or body lotion or hair care product. Not for a new Air Wick or Renuzit or Glade home fragrance.

It was for panty shields. Using panty shields means never having to change your underwear again. And now you can never change your underwear again with a NEW fragrances. Oh boy!

By whom shall my new fragrance be enjoyed? What? The dogs on the jogging path?

I think we'd need a gal to do snark on feminine hygiene products. Maybe not, let me not be sexist. But where do they come up with this crap?

Television commercial. Lovely woman, flowing dress, reclining on a chaise longue on the beach, inside an equally flowing fabric tent.

Looks like it's going to be for a spa, a vacation, or lifestyles of the rich and famous. Again, feminine hygiene products. It's for crotch mousse. CROTCH MOUSSE.

Just in case I get into an accident, the medics cut off my clothing, get to my undies that have been shielded with new fragrance, and once those are off, they can enjoy the seashore dream fragrance of crotch mousse?

What happened to natural body scents? Napolean sent a note to Josephine telling her he'd be home in a few weeks, and not to bathe.

All that bathing and fragrancing washes off our pheromones. The stuff that attracts us to others. And to fix that, the manufacturers work on making pheromone-like perfumes.

Guys don't have jock shields. Guys don't have crotch mousse. Hmmm. Okay, guys, what's the deal with SPITTING? I think it's rather uncouth.

I see no reason to spit, to purposely spit just for the sake of spitting. You don't see women walking around making gutteral gurgling pre-spit throat sounds and then flinging a slimy gob out of their mouth. Just guys.

And not classy guys or professional guys. There isn't a lot of spitting at the opera. Symphony. NYSE floor. High level executive meetings. The U.N. None of the people on CSI spit.

"Lookie here, great gob of phlegm for DNA"

"Uh, boss, that's mine."

Sports guys spit. Baseball. Football. Some is from spitting tobacco. I think they chew it just to have extra opportunities to spit and excuse their spitting.

You don't see male golfers spitting. But they pee in the bushes. All over the place. Men have no shame.

I don't think there's a physiological reason why men spit and women don't, like men produce more gunk. Or that gunk-producing men are only allowed in certain sports. It's got to be behavioural.

Men, why do you spit?
Women, what do you think about men who spit?


Anonymous said...

I watched one of those Nanny 911 shows and it turned my stomach. I DO have children and they DO NOT act like the "before" that I saw on that show. We don't get to anywhere NEAR the "before" on those shows. It's been a lot of hard work, but our kids (most of the time, they are KIDS after all) are well behaved, polite and respect other people AND other people's property. If they want to pretend play they are the wicked witch of the west screaming at the flying monkeys in the hall outside of Mom and Dad's bedroom door when M&D would like to sleep in (what is THAT) on a Saturday morning. Ah well ...

For other offenses we are talking serious family council, time outs, taking away treasured toys for a time, taking away privileges, and, for the most severe offenses, "Daddy" lectures (they just aren't the same from Mommy, somehow. My kinder, gentler nature I guess) and yes, even, spanking.

That's my show and tell.

Jules said...

Wow! So much to say! Brain overload! Ergh!

Andree - Deadliest Catch is a show about those absolutely psychotic people who go fishing during the six most dangerous weeks of the year in (Help me out, Linda; was it Alaskan straits, or something else?) well, somewhere off the coast of Alaska. It's the only small window of opportunity they have to catch this certain type of crab.

I guess for each different season of the show they have the people chasing a different kind of fish or crab, but it's all during some dangerous time of year in dangerous waters. These people are nuts. They're almost guaranteed to lose someone, or even a whole boat and crew like the ones I watched. And even if they manage to safely catch this crustacean gold, the market closes after a certain amount is brought in, so you could get there just a couple of hours too late and be totally out of luck. Like I said, nuts!

Maybe they should do an episode about that other kind of crabs. That's not the deadliest catch, but the people involved would be potentially risking their lives, wouldn't they? It could be their special Sex Ed edition where they also include those clips from Nanny 911. I definitely think you've got something there.

I was bored and flipping through channels one afternoon and came across one of those crazy Maury or Jerry Springer- type shows about 13 and 14 year olds who were sleeping around for - get this - for the express purpose of getting pregnant and having a baby! 13 and 14! They wouldn't listen to anyone about what a huge responsibility it was and how dramatically it changes your life.

I changed the channel in disgust, but went around the circuit once more and came back in time to see the brilliant solution: the show brought in several single teen moms and had the 13 and 14 year olds take care of those one year olds for 24 hours. They had supervision, of course, so the babies weren't in danger, but they had NO HELP at all. By the end of the 24 hours, the wannabe moms were crying and apologizing to their moms. Genius!

As for all the crazy fragrances flooding the market - what the...? Perfumes makes me sneeze and I, frankly, think it's sexy when a guy's a little sweaty. I guess it's the whole pheromones thing. SCENTED PANTY SHEILDS? CROTCH MOUSSE? That must be the mark of a doomed society.

I think guys spit to mark their territory. Do golfers really pee in the bushes? Wow. I don't know if that's marking territory or just pure dedication to the task at hand. I never liked golf. Now I know why. ;-)

Just linda said...

It's the Bering Sea where the Deadliest Catch takes place. I think the crews stand to make substantial amounts of money depending on the size of the catch and if the crab are still alive and in decent shape.

Anyways....reality tv had really gotten out of hand, if you ask me. I try not to watch too many. I am stuck on Big Brother and Survivor. Gotta watch them every season.

Guys that spit. Gross. I have know some females who have no problem spitting, though they don't do it quite as well as guys do. Still pretty gross. Nasty habit...let's not wait til we get somewhere more reasonable to get rid of all those nasty germs, we'll just share it with everybody...whatever.

Feminine hygiene products, just another way to make people feel crappy about themselves and get them to shell out more money. It's all about the greed.

Funny stuff here you guys (or gals as the case may be). Missed it over the past week. Back to the sleeping during prime time tv schedule, thank goodness.

I see the 'hosts' are back...yay...gotta go check it out and see what they're up to.