Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Sid's Fall Preview - Thursdays

Another preview from Sid St. Sidney F’er…

CSI – I read that prosecutors are having a more difficult time getting convictions because all the dumbass jurors believe everything they see on TV and won’t convict the dirtiest of street thugs unless Grissom himself walks in with a book of fingerprints, a baggie full of pubic hair and a DNA sample from the Loch Ness Monster.

Joey – I had never heard of Concrete Blonde when they played a local bar years ago for a $1.07 cover charge thanks to WPGU-FM 107.1. But Moist Rub was in the know and dragged me along. I trusted the boy since when I first met him he was lying in bed in the dark, except for a string of Christmas lights, violently strumming a broken acoustic guitar along to Romeo Void. Years later, people not acquainted with Moist Rub would come to know Concrete Blonde after their biggest hit, Joey, which is too bad, since it’s not really representative of their catalog. That’s all I have to say about Joey.
(For any of you young punks that might be in the WPGU listening area these days, don’t miss the Sleater Kinney show on October 9th or I’ll kick your ass.)

Alias – 1. Jennifer Garner… overrated. 2. Why is her appearance on Leno on the mother f-ing news? 3. I could not care less whether she has a boy, a girl or a goddam squirrel monkey so quit acting like she just gave up the recipe to Coca-Cola.

The O.C. – I think this was called Beverly Hills 90210 when I was younger. Then they changed the name to Dawson’s Creek. And now it’s called the O.C. and I still don’t care.

Smallville – The only comic books I read were Archie’s and I still say Veronica was way hotter than Betty. There are guys that want you to believe that they prefer Betty, but if you Aha’d their ass and stuck them in that comic book they’d be taking on Veronica before they even noticed Betty. Those are the same guys that claim they’d choose the farm girl over the movie star if they were on the SS Minnow. But I digress.
If you’re into the Superman scene, I’ll grant an exemption for this show. Enjoy.

Survivor – You know what I liked about Rock Star? Besides Brooke’s wardrobe? The contestants weren’t constantly scheming and forming alliances and all that crap. Doesn’t everyone get enough of that crap at work or school or wherever they spend their days? As far as I’m concerned, both tribes can stick the ol’ immunity idol up their collective arses. LeperPop has spoken.

Eve – So the show is called Eve, but it’s really about a chick named Shelly played by Eve? Shouldn’t it be called Shelly? Or were they afraid people would mistake it for a Shelly Long comeback on UPN? If that’s the case they could have renamed the lead character Tanya or something, right?

Will & Grace – This is still on?

Cuts – This can’t be good.

Everwood – Even though I’m working on an early retirement to a small mountain town, I’m not sure I want to watch a TV show about it. In fact, I am sure I don’t want to watch a show about it.

The Apprentice – I finally capitulated and watched the first episode. It wasn’t bad. As long as they don’t start forming alliances, I might stick this one out. Note to self: order LeperPop helicopter. Note to self #2: Just spoke to Bernadette Peters – cancel order.

ER – Blow this popsicle stand and head over Discovery Health channel for Trauma: Life in the ER. Good stuff. Critical Hour is pretty good, too. I think I’ve watched enough to handle most cases at a Level II trauma center. So if you’re ever in the neighborhood and suffer a subdural hematoma, just swing by the house and I’ll get you taken care of.

Without a Trace – Another one I’ve seen by default thanks to Mrs. F’er. Not unbearable. Here’s my synopsis of every episode.

Subject 1: Help, help, my ________ is missing!
Jack: Tell us everything.
Subject 1: blah, blah, blah…
Jack: Is that everything?
Subject 1: Yes.

Jack: Hey, Martin – grab Danny and Poppy. I don’t think that’s everything.

Martin, Danny & Poppy (via cellphone): Hey, Jack, listen to what we found out.

Jack: Why didn’t you tell us everything?
Subject 1: I’m sorry – now you know everything.

Martin, Danny and/or Poppy: I/We found him/her!

20 comments:

ANTM said...

Hahahahaha Sid St. Sidney F'er. LOlolOLolollo

Who can tell me who the fuck James St. James is and why he was wearing one of Kirstie Alley's castoff housedresses on tonight's ep?

Okay - now I have to go read the review of Thursdays... Thanks, Sid. You've just made Black Wednesday bearable.

AMAI said...

HAHAHA - love the Without A Trace parody and I've never seen the show.

I explained why I watch reality TV in a reply to Sid's Fall Preview - Wednesdays.

Alliances in the Apprentice don't work very well. If your "best friend" is responsible for fucking up the task and you don't bring that person to the Boardroom, you look like a dickwad and either end up fired or with a big black mark against you in George or Carolyn's mind. They remind Trump of it during the little chats while your ass sweats out in reception.

It's basically asshats being asshats, it's just there are sometimes moments of clarity and brilliance on the part of the contestants that isn't entirely squashed by their jealous teammates.

Question is - will it inspire you and/or Moist to write about it?

Moist Rub said...

EPIDURAL! Epidural Hemotoma. Two years of pre-school, and you think you know everything.

Jules said...

*LeperPop has spoken.*

And the peasants rejoice!

Sid F'er said...

Intracranial hematomas are accumulations of blood within the brain or between the brain and the skull.

Intracranial hematomas include epidural hematomas, which form between the skull and the outer layer (dura mater) of tissue covering the brain (meninges); subdural hematomas, which form between the outer layer and the middle layer (arachnoid mater; and intracerebral hematomas, which form within the brain.

I can treat both, but specialize in subdural presentations.

keysunset said...

LOL! Just let me know Sid St. Sidney, which hospital you are at when I next need an ER. As for Moist, well, I'll let him race me down the hallways on the gurney like we're trying to take the pole position to go get an MRI or X-ray, or some procedure or other.

Keysunset said...

Hubby says that the new "Night Stalker" starts tonight on, I think, ABC. I LOVED the old Night Stalker series so I think I'll give this one a try. Comments anyone?

Darrin McGavin was great in the original Night Stalker and what a hoot in the movie "A Christmas Story." How can we win Sid F'er a lamp shaped like a leg?!

Leper Hopeful said...

I've seen those lamps for sale, e.g. redriderleglamps.com, I'm sure if we all chip in we could get one for Sid (and Mrs. F'er by default). I mean who wouldn't want of those in their house?!?

keysunset said...

Thanks,leper hopeful! I went out to the website. LOL! Maybe Sid and Mrs. F'er would just want the fishnet stockings?

My hubby and I watched "Night Stalker." It was a bit creepy, but hey, that's the point, huh. This week's episode was definitely one NOT to watch if you are pregnant, but we're all done with that. Hubby said he's up for watching it again so I think we'll try it again next week.

Hmm, not 10:30 here yet, maybe I can catch up on some of the "Dark Shadows" episodes I'm watching on DVD. I love Jonathan Frid as Barnabas Collins.

see y'all later!

AMAI said...

Dark Shadows! BWAHAHA! I watched that when I was 10! I was such a goth kid. Used to run home from the bus stop to watch TV - it was on at 4pm.

Sigh. I'm too old for Marty, aren't I?

CPA said...

Sid,
I know a large retail chain that could use your descriptive narrative in their seasonal catalogs.

Jules said...

Don't lose heart, Amai! Didn't Marty say in an interview that he liked older women?

Sid F'er said...

I don't think a large retail chain would appreciate descriptions telling people why they're idiots for buying the stuff and they should stop filling their basket and run for the exits.
And they're not that large.

keysunset said...

I don't think Marty is going to card us for looking at his photos, buying tickets to his concerts, or purchasing his CD's! :-D

Thank goodness! I share Marty's birthday day (Sept. 26) but not the same year. Although, yeah, he did say he liked older women ...

keysunset said...

Sid said earlier:
"Remember, these are just reviews of returning shows on the major networks as defined by TV Guide."

Ooops, I fordot that when I wondered why you didn't comment on "Night Stalker". Ah well, I guess it's my age showing.

Sid F'er said...

This daily posting is rough. Writing is almost as hard as supermodeling.
After I finish up the network previews, I might take a gander at the new offerings and some cable stuff. Or I might just take a nap. Looks like it did wonders for Moist Rub.

Moist Rub said...

I wasn't napping. I was on a binge and then I had to dry out for a few days.

Sid F'er said...

OK, then I'll just go on a binge. Looks like it did wonders for Moist Rub.

mehgs said...

Just had to say "Thanks Guys!" for making me giggle like an idiot. Again.

keysunset said...

Stardate November 11, 2005:

While on a routine mission to read the LeperPop posts and comments I had missed, I realized that the blog is now sprinkled with images and photos. Some of which appear to be from alien races. Must ask Mr. Spock to do more research on this.

In the meantime, I have given up on the new show "Night Stalker." Not nearly creepy or compelling enough to keep me interested and I would rather look at Marty Casey than Stuart Townsend. At least the way they have ST made up for this show. Stuart is just a little TOO much the tortured, troubled soul. Last night's episode was even the first part of a continued story and I don't care. Ah well, lots of shows on DVD to watch and always Diablo II to play. At least that way MY character gets to be the one to fight the evil undead.

Continuing to look for the Easter eggs ...