Another preview from Sid St. Sidney F’er…
CSI – I read that prosecutors are having a more difficult time getting convictions because all the dumbass jurors believe everything they see on TV and won’t convict the dirtiest of street thugs unless Grissom himself walks in with a book of fingerprints, a baggie full of pubic hair and a DNA sample from the Loch Ness Monster.
Joey – I had never heard of Concrete Blonde when they played a local bar years ago for a $1.07 cover charge thanks to WPGU-FM 107.1. But Moist Rub was in the know and dragged me along. I trusted the boy since when I first met him he was lying in bed in the dark, except for a string of Christmas lights, violently strumming a broken acoustic guitar along to Romeo Void. Years later, people not acquainted with Moist Rub would come to know Concrete Blonde after their biggest hit, Joey, which is too bad, since it’s not really representative of their catalog. That’s all I have to say about Joey.
(For any of you young punks that might be in the WPGU listening area these days, don’t miss the Sleater Kinney show on October 9th or I’ll kick your ass.)
Alias – 1. Jennifer Garner… overrated. 2. Why is her appearance on Leno on the mother f-ing news? 3. I could not care less whether she has a boy, a girl or a goddam squirrel monkey so quit acting like she just gave up the recipe to Coca-Cola.
The O.C. – I think this was called Beverly Hills 90210 when I was younger. Then they changed the name to Dawson’s Creek. And now it’s called the O.C. and I still don’t care.
Smallville – The only comic books I read were Archie’s and I still say Veronica was way hotter than Betty. There are guys that want you to believe that they prefer Betty, but if you Aha’d their ass and stuck them in that comic book they’d be taking on Veronica before they even noticed Betty. Those are the same guys that claim they’d choose the farm girl over the movie star if they were on the SS Minnow. But I digress.
If you’re into the Superman scene, I’ll grant an exemption for this show. Enjoy.
Survivor – You know what I liked about Rock Star? Besides Brooke’s wardrobe? The contestants weren’t constantly scheming and forming alliances and all that crap. Doesn’t everyone get enough of that crap at work or school or wherever they spend their days? As far as I’m concerned, both tribes can stick the ol’ immunity idol up their collective arses. LeperPop has spoken.
Eve – So the show is called Eve, but it’s really about a chick named Shelly played by Eve? Shouldn’t it be called Shelly? Or were they afraid people would mistake it for a Shelly Long comeback on UPN? If that’s the case they could have renamed the lead character Tanya or something, right?
Will & Grace – This is still on?
Cuts – This can’t be good.
Everwood – Even though I’m working on an early retirement to a small mountain town, I’m not sure I want to watch a TV show about it. In fact, I am sure I don’t want to watch a show about it.
The Apprentice – I finally capitulated and watched the first episode. It wasn’t bad. As long as they don’t start forming alliances, I might stick this one out. Note to self: order LeperPop helicopter. Note to self #2: Just spoke to Bernadette Peters – cancel order.
ER – Blow this popsicle stand and head over Discovery Health channel for Trauma: Life in the ER. Good stuff. Critical Hour is pretty good, too. I think I’ve watched enough to handle most cases at a Level II trauma center. So if you’re ever in the neighborhood and suffer a subdural hematoma, just swing by the house and I’ll get you taken care of.
Without a Trace – Another one I’ve seen by default thanks to Mrs. F’er. Not unbearable. Here’s my synopsis of every episode.
Subject 1: Help, help, my ________ is missing!
Jack: Tell us everything.
Subject 1: blah, blah, blah…
Jack: Is that everything?
Subject 1: Yes.
Jack: Hey, Martin – grab Danny and Poppy. I don’t think that’s everything.
Martin, Danny & Poppy (via cellphone): Hey, Jack, listen to what we found out.
Jack: Why didn’t you tell us everything?
Subject 1: I’m sorry – now you know everything.
Martin, Danny and/or Poppy: I/We found him/her!