Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Sid's Fall Preview - Wednesdays

Lost – So this isn’t a reality show? It’s a drama based on a reality show? Have we finally come full circle?

Rebecca: This is so bad it’s almost good.
Enid: This is so bad it’s gone past good and back to bad.

I haven’t seen the show. It seems to be getting some acclaim but I’m still not on board. Appears to be Gilligan’s Island without the jokes and the wacky first mate. Or the movie star. There might be a professor, but I can’t tell. TV Guide says there’s a millionaire, but not sure if he has a wife. I am kind of curious to find out what was in the goddam secret hatch, but not enough to watch.

The other thing I can’t reconcile is that every time I fly, the average passenger seems to weigh-in north of 250. However, every female that got stranded on the island appears to be an aerobics instructor. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

George Lopez – Never thought he was particularly funny, but as Brooke would say, can we get serious here? I read that he darn near died but his wife gave him one of her kidneys. Apparently she’s even less funny and needed him to keep the cash flowing to the Lopez household. I asked Mrs. F’er if she’d give me a kidney if I needed one and she mumbled something about not being a match and walked away. Looks like she’ll be waking up in a tub full of ice water with a note to call 911.

Still Standing – I first fell in love with Jami Gertz in Crossroads. Unlike Phoebe Cates, it looks like time has been kind to Jami. However, even with the introduction of the wacky wiffle ball playing, beer swilling neighbor, I don’t seem to care.

That 70’s Show – OK, I’ve seen this show more than I would care to admit. Maybe I’m just trying to figure out how Fez got to nail Lindsay Lohan back when she was still hot.

America’s Next Top Model – From what I’m hearing there might be some mindless entertainment value that will make you feel good about yourself even if you’re not a size 0. However, the whole modeling industry is a waste of time and is due to implode as soon as they figure out that their industry is not exempt from the law of diminishing returns. I’m a degreed econ major, so stand back and allow me to explain. There are plenty of hot women in this world that are fully capable of walking up and down a runway wearing silly designer clothes or getting their picture taken for a magazine cover. Like the babes at the sunglasses store. Once you get to that level of hotness, how much do you really gain by paying an outrageous premium for one of America’s old top models like Tyra or Cindy? Do you really sell more magazines or more winged lingerie by employing Tyra? Don’t think so. Enjoy the ride while you can, you vapid vixens.

One Tree Hill – I think this show is popular with some age group that I’m not in anymore. And that age group consists wholly of asshats.

Stacked – I never had to get a hepatitis shot before checking out a book until now.

Yes, Dear – I used to hang out at a bar and one of the owners would go hunting every year and then serve up venison chili for the next month. Yes, deer. Sorry. I’m not familiar with this show, but it seemed too lame to even make fun of.

Veronica Mars – It appears there is a character named Weevil Navarro. That’s pretty funny, but not enough to make me watch. Adding Steve Guttenberg isn’t going to help matters unless he brings the guy from Police Academy that makes the crazy sound effects. Now that’s comedy.

CSI: NY – See previous entries for CSI. Except here the investigators have the added challenge of having to distinguish between the original trauma and the subsequent damage from rats gnawing on the discarded corpse.

L&O – Haven’t watched since Angie left us for that spare Jason Sehorn.

Remember, these are just reviews of returning shows on the major networks as defined by TV Guide. Maybe next week I'll take a look at what else is out there. Or maybe I'll just see if I can awaken Moist Rub from hibernation.


Jules said...

Lost is actually pretty good, even with the people I was convinced would just be boring pretty faces (*cough* Evangeline Lilly *cough* Matthew Fox *cough, cough*) However, I have class on Wednesday nights and I don't get to see it and I'm not heartbroken. So there you have it.

Hey! I'm not an asshat! I've never even watched One Tree Hill. Then again, maybe I'm a couple years too old for the asshat generation. Whew! That's a relief!

And finally, thank you, Sid, for not only enriching our lives with some much-needed comedy, but also fortifying our brains with little tidbits of useful trivia. I'm sure it will come in handy in the next econ course I take. You are truly the total FDA recommended daily allowance of entertainment.

Anonymous said...

You are funny.

Now go wake up Moist.

AMAI said...

Jules, I have to disagree about Matthew Fox as even a "boring pretty face." Matthew Fox looks like he was kicked in the kidneys 5 hours ago. The pain has almost completely subsided; it's just that he keeps wincing unexpectedly.

The only thing Lost is good for is boring TWoP recaps that will put you to sleep faster than you can remove the lid from a childproof bottle of sleeping tablets.

ANTM is the only worthwhile thing on Wednesday nights!

Jules said...

Ouch! I can't agree with you about the show as a whole, but I can agree about Matthew Fox. I don't find him all that attractive, either, but I'm sure there are plenty of gals out there who do. And they're welcome to him. =P

keysunset said...

"House" comments (I watched it on Wed. because I taped it. Is that cheating?) See comments to "Sid's Fall Preview - Tuesdays" for my little post. Hey, is it correct that the next House won't be on until November 1? Something about baseball playoffs ....

keysunset said...

OH, BTW watching the scenes from the next "House" it looked like one of the patients is going to be Ron Livingston (Peter Gibbons in "Office Space"). Am I hallucinating?

AMAI said...

It's Results Night.

The last thing I heard about "Lost" was there was a metallic creature in the forest terrorizing the castaways. I think some of the people were going to have sex and some guy wasn't sure if he has a leg or not.

Anyway, on this particular Wednesday night ... the first real Black Wednesday because there is no group of musicians playing for their musical lives in a fabulous rock and roll competition, with the gorgeous, ethereal, Lithuanian-extraction (or so I heard) named Marty.

I should totally make a chop My Favorite Martin. He creeps some people out. I find him full of personality.

Anyhoo, he's busy preparing for this tour or something. His big brother posted at MSN and told us not to worry - everything is going to be great. Just relax. Soon we will have our Marty Fix.

After ANTM, I watched Survivorman, a show shot by one fool Canadian who gets himself dropped off in remote areas of the planet, and films his attempt to survive and get rescued in one week.

Fucking awesome show.

Then, a bio on Metallica (I love this band), which got me hungry for Part 2 of the Metallica video A Year And A Half In The Life Of ...

Can you see EPMB making a whole show about bass players? Because Metallica's current bass player's contract must be up for renewal about now, eh? They're doing Spinal Tap with their bass players. I'd just LVOE it if Rachel Bolan was one of the contestants. Oh man... I'm seeing an awesome show for next summer - HEY EPMB - hire me for this gig!!!

I'll probably have to go thru a fucking Apprentice show to get the gig, tho.

Now - a word About Reality TV, and why I watch it.

The real fun of watching reality TV is twofold. One, it lays in discussing it seriously and writing about what's going on and what so & so's next move ought to be and / or what the editing is being manipulated to make us think
making the most wicked jokes about the show, the contestants, sometimes even about the damn Fish that BB puts up when they don't want us to know what's happening despite 24/7 Live Feed Bait-&-Switch promises.

That's what makes it all worth while. You put up with the fools in the Big Brother house in order to fully get the jokes in the Photochop Thread at Sucks.

One really good deep laugh can be enough to last a person 3 months of day-to-day crap.

Real people making asshats out of themselves hasn't gotten old yet. Posting and video chopping and recapping are so rewarding and keep a talented group hanging together at a great board.

You guys, Sid & Moist, would totally rock that joint. LOL.

I reckon you'll probably erase this for being too long or summat. Call it the True Black Wednesday Night Rhythm & Blues Show & Revue.

Sid F'er said...

I admit that I occasionally get sucked into the latest reality show, but I also usually get bored after 2 or 3 installments. By that time I've usually figured out everybody's MO and begin to despise them for it, or, as is more often the case, just not care about what happens to any of them.
So I guess the "reality" is that I am a fan of reality TV as long as you roll out a new show for me every 4 weeks and don't expect me to stick around.
RS was the exception since we knew Marty and had committed to this blog. Otherwise, I think I might have tuned out (the horror!) before throwing a brick at my TV during Ty's next performance.

keysunset said...

Yep, last night was definitely the first "Black Wednesday."

Amai said
"I should totally make a chop My Favorite Martin. He creeps some people out. I find him full of personality."

I love it, Amai! My Favorite Martin.

Thanks, Sid, for being dedicated to this band of crazies.