Monday, September 26, 2005

Sid's Fall Preview - Tuesdays

Tuesdays with Sid:

House – Genius. Dr. House is my idol and I can only hope to get my anti-social behavior to work for me half as well as he does. Grab your Taber’s Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary and join the fun. Make sure you know the difference between a virus and a bacterial infection and that should be enough to get you started. Even if you don’t know the difference, you can always fantasize that Dr. Cameron will be waiting for you the next time you have to go to the free clinic for that rash. The closest I came was a nurse that looked like Phoebe Cates during an outpatient procedure I had done. If I wasn’t so sedated and there wasn’t a doctor there with his hand down my throat, it could have been very Fast Times at Ridgemont High. But I digress. Watch House.

According to Jim – I’ve had a slight crush on Courtney Thorne-Smith ever since Melrose Place. Not an over the top, hiding in the bushes hoping to see her walk her dog crush, but more like a wish I went to high school with her so I could have taken her to prom kind of crush. However, I didn’t go to the prom in my own high school so I’m not sure what makes me think I would have gone to prom at her high school, let alone scored a date with her. Anyway, I’ve never seen this show. I think I’m still bitter about John being dead and Jim still being alive. Skip this show and watch the Blues Brothers instead. Every week if you need to. I want you to have it memorized so you don’t miss any future references to Sid’s favorite movie.

Biggest Loser – I’m all on-board with people getting in shape, but do it on your own time. I wonder how many people are sitting on their couch with a bag of Cheesy-Poofs and a Big Gulp of Mountain Dew and watching this.

Gilmore Girls – Something about Lauren Graham always creeped me out, but I still enjoyed Bad Santa. The only reason I might watch this show is if they introduce Billy Bob Thornton into the cast and let him say “fuck” a lot on network TV.

NCIS – CSI: Navy, right? Or something like that? All I know is it’s the guy that was on the cover of People magazine all through the 80’s solving some sort of mysteries involving seamen. Give me a break, I’m allowed a cheap one like that once in a while.

Rodney – I never heard of him or his show. So being a diligent little blogger I did some research. I looked at the titles of the cuts on his Greatest Hits album, including “Wife at Garage Sale”, “Walmart”, and “Letter to my Penis”. Based on that, I won’t be watching and neither should you.

The Amazing Race – OK, I’m finally intrigued. I’ve never seen an episode, but people rave about his one and it seems to be winning some awards. Maybe I’ll set the VCR this Tuesday. They don’t have to eat sheep brains, do they?

The Office – I heard great stuff about the BBC version and was also a fan of Steve Carell’s work on the Daily Show. But after I watched it I felt like I had just toured Graceland. Very absurd, yet not as impressive as I had expected. I’ve worked with some whack-jobs in the past, but this show went so far beyond a shred of believability that I never gave it another chance. At least Office Space had a plot.

Boston Legal – There’s a little kitchenette right across the hall from my office and every Monday morning, two co-workers would stand right there and essentially re-tell the entire episode to each other while getting their coffee. I thought about fashioning a noose and placing it around my neck to express my annoyance, as it didn’t sound nearly as amusing as they claimed. But I flipped across it by mistake one night and gave it a chance. I guess if you’re looking for an Ally McBeal replacement without the creepy dancing baby, this might do.

L&O: SVU – Yep, an hour of brutal rape victims and child molesters is always pleasant right before going to bed.

Returning Midseason:
Trading Spouses – See Wife Swap (Mondays)

Scrubs – I’ve seen it few times and it didn’t totally suck, but I don’t go out of my way to watch it. I thought for a while that Dr. Reid was kind of cute, but then realized I just think she has good hair. Not unlike a style that Crystal Bernard might wear. That Zach Braff guy seems like someone that should annoy me, but doesn’t for some reason. So I guess what I’m saying is that if you’re quarantined with a contagious rash, go ahead and pass some time with this show.

American Idol – The ultimate spectator sport for people that spend their days listening to “continuous lite hits” from the 80’s, 90’s and today! The only redeeming quality of this show is seeing people who think they’re Wayne F-ing Newton because they starred in their high school production of Guys and Dolls being told that they’re better suited for a career at their local shoe store.

So yesterday I make a comment about Joey Lawrence guest starring on some WB or UPN show because Scott Baio was unavailable. It appears the comment was surprisingly accurate since tonight on Arrested Development we were introduced to a new character named Bob Loblaw being played by none other than… Scott Baio. Sometimes truth is stranger than LeperPop.


Jules said...

This is totally random, but your comment about Wayne F-ing Newton gave me a craving for Fig Newtons. I'll be sure to eat them whilst watching Blues Brothers.

And House IS genius. I adored Hugh Laurie from the first moment I saw his bored sarcasm in Sense & Sensibility. (Oops! I should have given a chick-flick warning.)

Here's to Sid and Wednesday nights! (I'm lying about the Wed nights part. The Wednesday night lineup sucks.)

AMAI said...

I agree with Jules - slim pickings on Wed's. RS:I was the best thing to ever happen to a Wed. night. Ah well...

Blues Brothers is my favourite musical! It is second only to Withnail & I as fave movie - check that one out.

I keep wanting to watch House because I love Hugh Laurie from his Blackadder days (and that's another great series to watch - it's available on DVD and probably rentals from your local vid store. Awesome show and truly the only way to study history. Don't let the Mr Bean character put you off Rowan Atkinson - he is great.

TAR (The Amazing Race) probably won't have much in the way of gross food this season. They don't go for gross meaning icky, as gross meaning gigantic. Contestants have in recent seasons had to consume ginormous portions. Anyway, this season will be odd on account of including children. I intend to mock only those families wearing matching outfits.

Re Trading Spouses - it's a similar premise but not nearly as well done as Wife Swap, a much tidier & faster moving show. I know - we watched Wife Swap last night because Mr. AMAI wanted to. It's educational - families who are into punk rock are just as narrow-minded as families whose lives revolve around baseball. They can learn something from each other. Wife Swap also has no cash prize - the prize is having a better family.

Okay, shutting up now...

Anonymous said...

Oh, my God! Phoebe Cates ... She was delicious and I'm a girl who loves the boys. What in hell happened to her? Didn't she have a thing going with Kevin Kline? Thanks for reminding me of those lips, eyes, and hair ...

keysunset said...

Thanks, all, for the recommendation for "House." I've seen parts of it a couple of times but maybe I'll have to program the VCR to watch tonight's (yeah, yeah, I'm depraved, I mean, DEPRIVED. I don't have TIVO.)

I can't watch According to Jim I think for some of Sid's reasons - the main one, I just think of John. Guess I'll go watch Blues Brothers, too. Want a rubber biscuit?

My best friend LOVES Amazing Race, but she and her hubby also have no, and will never have, children, so I wonder how much she'll enjoy this season. Personally, as one with children, I don't think I want to watch it either. When I FINALLY get tv time that isn't "Arthur" or "Cliford's Puppy Tales", or, heaven help us, "Dragontales," I don't think I want to spend it watching some families become dysfunctional trying to out race other families becoming dysfunctional. I think one Amazing Race episode I did watch must have truly turned me off from watching the thing. They were in an African country and the wife was whining about the smell, and why didn't "these people" wash, etc., etc. I wanted to put her in her own "reality" show and let one of "those people" trade places with HER life for a few months.

Scott Baio! You must also be psychic, Sid. Good thing we don't have to pay you $.50 a minute. Or wait a second, what was that "Leper House" charge to my credit card ...

Speaking of fig newtons (which we love around here.) Guess I'll be eating those whilst watching Blues Brothers, after my kids go to bed, of course. Does anyone remember the "big fig" in those old fig newton commercials?! I LOVED that! I wish I knew the whole song, my kids love watching me sing what I do know while doing the motions I remember. Don't you all wish you could watch. :-D

Have a great day y'all!

L A Ray said...

Sid - You can skip Wed & Thur since I'll be in Vegas. Friday is a preseason hockey game at the Pond (Ducks v Kings), plus the infamous karaoke night, so skip that too. Saturday is, well, Saturday, so I guess you're done. Way to "git'er done". Kidding dude.

keysunset said...

Off topic - I was just hanging out at the message board at waiting for Marty to show up for an interview with a Chicago radio station. Uh, I think Marty had a REALLY great birthday yesterday because he was MIA. :-D

Ah, well, we've all had those days huh? You all would have been pleased at how forgiving we all were at the board. Someone did suggest giving him a spanking, but I thought a time out with him looking at me explaining over and over why he had missed the interview would be ok.

ho ho ho. I've got to go do some real life stuff now. Have a great day y'all!

Sid F'er said...

Am I the only one that got somewhat aroused reading "anonymous" comment regarding Phoebe Cates? I need to write about her more often.
That being said, I did some research and it's better to stick with your memory of her from the 80's.

I never knew Hugh Laurie existed before House.

Go Ducks!

L A Ray said...


TV usage was up 5 percent compared to a year ago.

For the week, CBS averaged 12.9 million viewers (8.3 rating, 13 share), ABC had 12.3 million (8.0, 13), NBC 9.9 million (6.6, 11), Fox 6.5 million (4.1, 6), UPN 4.2 million (2.7, 4), the WB 3.3 million (2.2, 3) and Pax TV 560,000 (0.4, 1).

In a busy week leading up to Hurricane Rita's landfall, NBC's "Nightly News" won the evening news ratings race, averaging 9.6 million viewers (6.8, 14). ABC's "World News Tonight" had 8.9 million viewers (6.2, 12) and the "CBS Evening News" 7.2 million (5.0, 10).

A ratings point represents 1,102,000 households, or 1 percent of the nation's estimated 110.2 million TV homes. The share is the percentage of in-use televisions tuned to a given show.

For the week of Sept. 19-25, the top 10 shows, their networks and viewerships: "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," CBS, 29 million; "Desperate Housewives," ABC, 28.4 million; "Lost," ABC, 23.5 million; "Criminal Minds," CBS, 19.6 million; "CSI: Miami," CBS, 19.2 million; "Grey's Anatomy," ABC, 19 million; "Survivor: Guatemala," CBS, 17 million; "Law & Order: SVU," NBC, 16.8 million; "Invasion," ABC, 16.4 million; "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," ABC, 16.4 million.

Leper Hopeful said...

What about "My Name is Earl"...I watched about 10 minutes of the 2nd episode (I think) and it seemed not bad - an old lady hit Earl over the head with a giant bible and then he tied her up...

Mehgs said...

I saw "My Name is Earl" last week and thought it was great. I am a huge Jason Lee fan though, so I may be biased. sounds like you watched a show from season 6 of The Amazing Race. This was NOT a good season. Most of the likeable teams were eliminated early and that left some real assholes. It seems like the odd numbered seasons were better liked by most people.

Jules said...

LA Ray - You have way too much time on your hands. ;-)

Mehgs - That sounds a lot like the Star Trek movie rule. Except that the even numbered movies were better, I think...

L A Ray said...

Sorry we live and breath tv and movies out here

Jules said...

=D It makes so much sense now that you think the CA TV schedule should be higher on my list of things I miss.

Devious D said...

Re: What About Jim? uh, I mean According to Jim...why do they keep giving us supposedly hot model babes (per Sid's post) married to overweight, bald, underachieving slobs? Even if this is true to life (which it's not--the bald fat guys don't get the models, do they?), why do I want to see it? OK, maybe one show like that. But it's unfair. If part of it's going to be unrealistic, can't I have a hot model guy married to a mousy housewife? (At least she has a reason to look all tired out and such--she's still working!)

They don't all have to be doctors, lawyers or other rich guys, but what about a smart guy who looks hot?

My Name is Earl is certainly getting hyped. And actually the US version of The Office (haven't had the pleasure of the original) reminds me a lot of Office Space (which I know fairly well since it's Mr. D's favorite movie--along with Beavis and Butthead Do America). Case in point, last week's episode with the (Dundries?) Awards Ceremony held at a Chili's. I was looking for "flair."

keysunset said...

LOL! I haven't watched "The Office" but "Office Space" is definitely one of our favorite movies here. Let me see how much flair I'll need to wear today ...

I DID tape "House" last night so hopefully I'll get a chance to watch it before Sid, Moist (if Sid can do some CPR and wake him up), or the rest of you make a bunch of comments. :-D

I confess, I went out last night and ate pulled pork, cole slaw, fried okra, and onion rings, drank sweet tea, and listened to bluegrass music for two hours. It was fantastic!

Ahh ... now back to reality!

Anonymous said...

Thank YOU ... I was amused to be reminded of Miss Phoebe Cates. Is she all plumpy and dowdy now? I can see that ... There was plumpy and dowdy potential going on at the time, which only made her MORE attractive--that Sophia Loren fatness waiting to take hold! What I remember about Phoebe and why I liked looking her over: I have very thin lips and she had that bee stung pout going on ... Now the bee stinging seems to have taken over. And, yeah, I am that girl who likes the boys but a beautiful girl is a beautiful girl, right? Beautiful girls are always fun ... (Why is Tyra's hair bright orange?)

And, again, you guys are too smart and funny not to be plugging Aqua Teen Hunger Force, which totally blows The Family Guy out of the water. Family Guy is not bee-stung.

keysunset said...

I watched "House" tonight (Wednesday, because I had taped it). I'm hooked. Even my hubby left his computer part way through and came over to the tv to watch it with me. I think I like watching it on tape 1) fast forward through commercials and 2) rewind and listen to House's comments as many times as I want. Hoo Hoo! Sid you do have something to aspire to.

Thanks for turning me onto "House", I think. :-D

Sid F'er said...

I missed House but Mrs. F'er said it was decent. I would have preferred a pulled pork sandwich, Memphis style, but the crawfish etoufee wasn't bad.

I checked Phoebe out on - she didn't look too fat or frumpy, but just not as fine as I would have expected.

The purpose of these posts is to mostly discourage people, including myself, from watching too much TV. However, I'm slightly intrigued with the comments for Aqua Teen Hunger Force and possibly Earl.

Anonymous said...

You two are funny but if I go there all the way funny weird stuff happens and I get email the next day and I want to kill myself by noontime.

And yeah Phoebe. You guys brought the Phoebe on and you did it on purpose.

Want to see the fat Phoebe with the Marty. WHF do you care -- You two talk about the Mrs. all the time. Bummer.

Anonymous said...

WHF do you care is funny bec it means nothing and I want to have your children just because of the Cates factor. January 20 2009 children and now you hate me because you see me.

AMAI said...

The purpose of these posts is to mostly discourage people, including myself, from watching too much TV.


I'm planning on ADDing to my viewing schedule by taping House so I can see it on Fridays instead of renting dumb movies.

Thanks, Sid!

keysunset said...

"The purpose of these posts is to mostly discourage people, including myself, from watching too much TV."

How about to discourage people from wasting their time watching AWFUL tv. I don't mind a little tv fix now and then.

Keep em coming, Sid!

dalebud said...

For Keysunset:
"Hit it, Hal.
Ooey, gooey, rich & chewey inside,
Golden flakey, tender cakey outside,
wrap the inside in the outside,
Is it good? Darn tootin,'
The Big Fig Newton, The Big Fig Newton (here's the tricky part) the BIIIGG, FIIIGGG, NEWWWTONNNN"

How do I remember stupid crap like that?

Phoebe is Mrs. Kevin Klein (or at least was)

keysunset said...

DALEBUD! Thanks so much!!!! I just checked this (Thursday late) so I'll have to practice tomorrow and regale my hubby and children with my big Fig impersonation this weekend.

Thanks again!

Anonymous said...

Thank you, dear person, for letting me know that the Phoebe married the Kevin. I had smoked my way out of that one until Sid ah Sid brought her back to me. But it is too late for us, Sid. I am bereft and then again I also kind of moved on. It's not you ... it's me.

I wrote this whole great not so much thing five minutes ago and then pushed the wrong button and it was gone. My ten year old was trying to give me a temporary tatoo at the time and wrong button pushing ensued. I cursed, he cried, we kissed and made up. I got to thinking of Sid and Phoebe again and just where I fit in.

Where is Marty? Shit. Now we get to dwell on Bill Bennett and how his 12 step program is obviously not taking him where he needs to go. Pretty Vegas, baby ... God, I hate that cheesy song. That show wrecked my head ... Class action against CBS all the way. Fuck Marty--

Aqua Teen Hunger Force ... Love it but not as much maybe as Moist Mary Poppins ...Sorry, Sid. This is not as funny as what I wrote before I lost it ... I feel depressed but then I was depressed before I even started in. Why can't we all just live together and rock out and like have Phoebe's babies? Kevin wouldn't mind.

And I love Collapse Comments ... and the Original Post ... You could do something with that although, Sid, you will never dig down this low ... Our moment came and went ... Again, I am bereft. My kingdom for another wrong button.

Sid F'er said...

"Why can't we all just live together and rock out and like have Phoebe's babies?"

At first it sounds so Branch Davidian, but we're not claiming to be the Messiah, just Kevin Kline-ish.

I told the priest - don’t count on any second coming,
God got his ass kicked the first time he came down here slumming...

Not sure how that relates, exactly, but I just like it there.

Devious D said...

Aqua Teen Hunger Force is big with the college crowd, if our sophomore (not sophomoric) niece is to be believed. (And I think she is.)

ATHF cracks up Mr. D. I laugh out of sheer amazement when I can get myself to pay attention.

So far I've only caught the last 5 minutes or trailers for Earl. What I've seen looks funny, but that could just be the "only funny Will Farrell bits from his latest movie" syndrome. (Don't get me wrong, WF makes me laugh.)

keysunset said...

House IS genius. I saw it last night. Although I was a bit uncomfortable through the show since it was totally DYSfunctional people lying to each other about EVERY important THING in their lives. A little too close to home, but it kept me watching! Ah well, keeps your brain sharp doesn't it, trying to figure out what % of what people are telling you is truth.

Best line though is when House is eating with his parents and he says, "I bought a motorcycle ..." And his dad says, "The one parked in the HANDICAPPED spot? You've still got two legs" (not all the words, but close) and House, lifting his cane, says "Three if you count this."

I think I'll take up carrying a walking stick, just to keep people guessing ...