Tuesdays with Sid:
House – Genius. Dr. House is my idol and I can only hope to get my anti-social behavior to work for me half as well as he does. Grab your Taber’s Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary and join the fun. Make sure you know the difference between a virus and a bacterial infection and that should be enough to get you started. Even if you don’t know the difference, you can always fantasize that Dr. Cameron will be waiting for you the next time you have to go to the free clinic for that rash. The closest I came was a nurse that looked like Phoebe Cates during an outpatient procedure I had done. If I wasn’t so sedated and there wasn’t a doctor there with his hand down my throat, it could have been very Fast Times at Ridgemont High. But I digress. Watch House.
According to Jim – I’ve had a slight crush on Courtney Thorne-Smith ever since Melrose Place. Not an over the top, hiding in the bushes hoping to see her walk her dog crush, but more like a wish I went to high school with her so I could have taken her to prom kind of crush. However, I didn’t go to the prom in my own high school so I’m not sure what makes me think I would have gone to prom at her high school, let alone scored a date with her. Anyway, I’ve never seen this show. I think I’m still bitter about John being dead and Jim still being alive. Skip this show and watch the Blues Brothers instead. Every week if you need to. I want you to have it memorized so you don’t miss any future references to Sid’s favorite movie.
Biggest Loser – I’m all on-board with people getting in shape, but do it on your own time. I wonder how many people are sitting on their couch with a bag of Cheesy-Poofs and a Big Gulp of Mountain Dew and watching this.
Gilmore Girls – Something about Lauren Graham always creeped me out, but I still enjoyed Bad Santa. The only reason I might watch this show is if they introduce Billy Bob Thornton into the cast and let him say “fuck” a lot on network TV.
NCIS – CSI: Navy, right? Or something like that? All I know is it’s the guy that was on the cover of People magazine all through the 80’s solving some sort of mysteries involving seamen. Give me a break, I’m allowed a cheap one like that once in a while.
Rodney – I never heard of him or his show. So being a diligent little blogger I did some research. I looked at the titles of the cuts on his Greatest Hits album, including “Wife at Garage Sale”, “Walmart”, and “Letter to my Penis”. Based on that, I won’t be watching and neither should you.
The Amazing Race – OK, I’m finally intrigued. I’ve never seen an episode, but people rave about his one and it seems to be winning some awards. Maybe I’ll set the VCR this Tuesday. They don’t have to eat sheep brains, do they?
The Office – I heard great stuff about the BBC version and was also a fan of Steve Carell’s work on the Daily Show. But after I watched it I felt like I had just toured Graceland. Very absurd, yet not as impressive as I had expected. I’ve worked with some whack-jobs in the past, but this show went so far beyond a shred of believability that I never gave it another chance. At least Office Space had a plot.
Boston Legal – There’s a little kitchenette right across the hall from my office and every Monday morning, two co-workers would stand right there and essentially re-tell the entire episode to each other while getting their coffee. I thought about fashioning a noose and placing it around my neck to express my annoyance, as it didn’t sound nearly as amusing as they claimed. But I flipped across it by mistake one night and gave it a chance. I guess if you’re looking for an Ally McBeal replacement without the creepy dancing baby, this might do.
L&O: SVU – Yep, an hour of brutal rape victims and child molesters is always pleasant right before going to bed.
Trading Spouses – See Wife Swap (Mondays)
Scrubs – I’ve seen it few times and it didn’t totally suck, but I don’t go out of my way to watch it. I thought for a while that Dr. Reid was kind of cute, but then realized I just think she has good hair. Not unlike a style that Crystal Bernard might wear. That Zach Braff guy seems like someone that should annoy me, but doesn’t for some reason. So I guess what I’m saying is that if you’re quarantined with a contagious rash, go ahead and pass some time with this show.
American Idol – The ultimate spectator sport for people that spend their days listening to “continuous lite hits” from the 80’s, 90’s and today! The only redeeming quality of this show is seeing people who think they’re Wayne F-ing Newton because they starred in their high school production of Guys and Dolls being told that they’re better suited for a career at their local shoe store.
So yesterday I make a comment about Joey Lawrence guest starring on some WB or UPN show because Scott Baio was unavailable. It appears the comment was surprisingly accurate since tonight on Arrested Development we were introduced to a new character named Bob Loblaw being played by none other than… Scott Baio. Sometimes truth is stranger than LeperPop.