Saturday, September 24, 2005

Sid's Fall TV Preview - Sundays

As luck would have it, there was TV Guide sitting in my hotel room this week with a complete fall preview. I perused it, hoping to resolve my quandary of what to write about next since we seem to have attracted a crowd of TV junkies. So here it is, Sid’s Fall TV Preview.

Desperate Housewives – I always wished that Howie Long would just clothesline Teri Hatcher during those inane Radio Shack commercials. I had a feeling that he wanted to but they put a rider in his contract specifically forbidding it. I can only hope that a combination of bad potato salad and malaria finds it’s way to the Wisteria Lane block party and I never have to hear about this show or see these scrags again.

The Simpsons – You know what I like about this show? It’s like a Hershey Bar. The chocolate engineers in Hershey PA hit upon a classic, winning formula and left it alone. No tricking it up like those bubbleheads at Coca-Cola with their new Coke, Cherry Coke, etc. Love it or hate it, you tune into the Simpsons and you know what you’re getting. Rock on, Homer.

King of the Hill – Luanne is the epitome of the rural country girl that looks hot now, but by the time she’s 40 she’ll have doubled in weight and you find out that you’re married to Rosanne Barr without the caustic wit to keep things entertaining. I can’t wait for her to show up on the Surreal Life in 20 years to find out if I’m right. While we’re on the topic of cartoon characters, am I the only one that thinks Elastigirl looks pretty hot with her hair all wet after she crashes into the ocean in The Incredibles?

Charmed – So this bunch of scrags are supposed to be witches instead of whores like the ones on Wisteria Lane, right? Yeah, still not interested. Alysssa Milano – overrated. The only way I’m watching witches is if they do a remake of Bewitched starring Crystal Bernard as Samantha and John Cusack as Darren. And Paul Reiser as the second Darren.

Cold Case – Haven’t seen it. Don’t plan to. You’re on your own.

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition – I’m not sure what this show is, but it sounds like a home improvement show for people down on their luck. Like spare, out-of-work musicians living in their cars. I’ll take a pass.

West Wing – I thought Geena Davis was president now. I’m confused. With 87 news channels on cable showing nothing but a bunch of whiney and/or pompous commentators arguing about politics, why would you want to spend leisure time watching more politics?

Family Guy – Best damn show on TV. Perhaps the only show that the F’er household stops down for each week. If you haven’t seen it, Sid says check it out.

Blue Collar TV – Even the promos for this looked bad, but with all the buzz I decided to check it out once. Once. You might be a dumbass if you find this entertaining. If I hear one more jagoff say, “Git ‘er done”, they’re going to get a mouthful of quick dry concrete.

Law & Order: CI – I was never a big fan of L&O but Mrs. F’er is, so I’ve seen many of them by default. I never minded it too much, except for CI due to that obnoxious know-it-all detective who is like the guy sitting in the front row of every class that would ask questions just to show off his advanced knowledge of the subject. You know even the teachers hate that guy.

American Dad – You might think that I would like this show since I gave Family Guy such rave reviews, but I usually tune out. Family Guy is like sex… it’s really good, but I kind of need a break when it’s over.

Crossing Jordan – I don’t think they’re talking about the country of Jordan, but that might make for an explosive reality show. Otherwise, not interested.

Grey’s Anatomy - If NBC had developed this show they could have just called it ER: Seattle. But they didn’t and you need to tune into ABC if you want to waste your time watching slutty, neurotic med students.

So there’s your Sunday network recap. Watch some football, and if the Sunday night ESPN game sucks then catch some Family Guy. If you’re not a football fan, go out and get yourself some exercise. You need it.

After I get done with the networks, I'll let you know if I find anything worthwhile on cable. I highly doubt it, but let me know if there's something Sid needs to know about.


Andree said...

SID! So glad to have you back! We've been drinking beer in empty parking lots without you.

I LIKE Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, but I'm not really watching it anymore. It used to be about home makeovers. Now it's "plow it down and build a new one in 7 days". It's not just a regular home they build either, it's some gargantuan, unrealistic thing that is completely unliveable for people like me. I couldn't even afford the power for a month, let alone the new property taxes.

I'll have to watch the Simpsons, I like that show. I do like Cold Case.

Do ya like aliens? Have you seen Threshold yet? The alien show on CBS. Not "Invasion" on ABC. I haven't seen the latter yet. It's an alien fall season, I guess.

Are you reviewing by day for the Fall Season?


Anonymous said...

SID! I'm so glad to have you back. I've been drinking beer in empty parking lots with Andree. (Thanks for the company Andree!) My household watches very little network tv, and we don't get most of the cable shows, but I might have to check out some of your recommendations. Even if just to get the joke when you blog about it.

Thanks again for being back to blog at me.

Gretchen said...

Is it okay if I watch Seignfeld reruns?

AMAI said...

Hi Sid, thanks for the email! I finally figured out how to save those MP3s on my computer. Unfortunately I didn't learn in time to save the first one you sent me. If you get a chance to resend it (Lithium), I'd be very grateful.

Sundays. Oh yes. We at the AMAI household already watch all the cartoon shows you plug. Mr. AMAI loved Family Guy from moment one; it took me a little longer, but we both enjoy the whole lineup. Am. Dad isn't quite as good - that alien that splooges all over everything at regular intervals annoys me.

Love the review/recap and hope you'll cover each day of the week for us.

Big hole in my Sundays after tonight (the last night of RS reruns.) I tend to surf the boards, organize and/or read recaps of others, and do my Edgic ratings for Survivor.

TV Junkies have a lot of responsibilities.

I gave up drinking beer a long time ago. Who has the rolling papers?

Jules said...

Who says the parking lot was empty? Weren't we having our tailgate party there?

Sid - I love your idea for the Bewitched remake with John Cusack... and Paul Reiser. We can pretend the one with what's-their-names never happened.

As for hot cartoon characters... I had a crush on Whiz from Kidd Video when I was seven. He wasn't at all attractive, though. Does that still count? Can I join the club? Being firmly heterosexual, I can't say that I found Elastigirl hot. Sorry.

So so SO glad you threw us a bone, Sid! If only to keep us from overrunning the comments sections of the last two posts. =)

Andree said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jules said...

And that's Andree's soapbox for the afternoon! =D

Seriously, though, I'm going through that in school right now. I took seven years off - how one year turned into seven, I'll never know - before going to college and now I'm in a completely different mindset than all the little 'uns coming straight out of high school. I'm not smarter, or anything, just more motivated to actually get something out of my classes.

I was not even reMOTEly like that in high school. I was the invisible girl who never spoke up. I can't say I hated the person who did speak up. Unless it was out of pure envy. Maybe that's why I'm so fond of the L&O: CI guy. He's smart and weird and he doesn't have a problem with it.

And here's to Sid and Moist, who are not afraid to be the witty class clowns! Lets be honest: the class clowns were pretty disruptive, but they were everyone's favorites. Even the teacher's. ;-)

Anonymous said...

"Who says the parking lot was empty? Weren't we having our tailgate party there?"

Sorry, Jules, Andree and I must have passed out before you got the ribs ready. Our misfortune! :-D

Anonymous said...

What? No mention of Aqua Teen Hunger Force! Carl and I are shocked and saddened ...

L A Ray said...

Hey Sid, ever get the feeling it's Andree's blog? Sheeesh!

Andree said...

Did somebody say ribs?

L.A.Ray, I'm still not sure what a blog is.

And I'm just the warm up in the back. Just someone to keep folks busy while we wait for Sid to appear.

I'd set up my own space, but I don't think anyone would come. LOL! Besides, I don't know how to do it. And I don't have any money.

As soon as we have a focus on this season's fab blog, which show(s), etc., then we Leperous Tailgaters can enjoy the show.

I'd still like to see a "regular" message board for Sid and Moist's fans. To discuss each blog, as well as a "general" thread for keeping busy between show blogs (like we had there for a couple days).

We could probably make a thread at any number of sites, but I'd rather have a sanctioned thread where Sid and Moist have control.

Consider me the person who brings the bread and water at the restaurant. You didn't go there for the bread and water, but it keeps you busy until the main course and the wine arrives.


Khajiit said...

Sid: get HBO. Or at least get HBO when Deadwood starts up again.

Wasn't Whiz from Kidd Video also Cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch? I only had eyes for Kidd myself.

Jules said...

Khajiit - Yup. I had to check on IMDB because Brady Bunch was at LEAST ten years before my time, but Whiz and Cousin Oliver were one and the same. I never said that I had taste. I've always been a sucker for the geeks, even, apparently, at seven years old. :) I know Robbie Rist as the voices of Whiz and Michaelangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go hide under a log in shame.

AMAI said...

Thanks, Andree, for making me look like one of the quiet ones.

I liked to make jokes in school. I got in trouble for making an advert for Perkins Paste.

Oh, speaking of advertising, Moist & Sid, I put a plug into my Week 10 RS:I recap for LeperPop.

I'll put another one in for this week if you like. I'm taking a long time over the finale, dragging it out until it can be drug no mo'.

Devious D said...

Hmmm, Sid. You left out PBS. Of course, who knows what they show elsewhere, but I'm a Mystery fanatic, but also at 10pm CST they show Coupling. This is supposedly the Brit version of Friends, but I never watched Friends and still can't stand it. But Coupling is completely different, imo, which means I *like* watching it. The earlier seasons were best (I miss Jeff), but they're still fun. OK, plug over.

Crack me up about the various scrags on different channels.

And Jules? Though Cousin Oliver would be stretching it, you still have no need to be embarrassed with Sid continuously admitting to a Crystal Bernard fetish. Though, Sid, I guess the fetish is worth it if it births that remake of Bewitched idea. Brilliant! And putting Cusack in the Darren role cracks me up--he used to be good, but now...

OK, enough things to make enough people mad. Time to sign off.

AMAI said...

Sid! You didn't talk about one of the funniest shows not just on Sunday night but of the week. I refer to The War at Home a sitcom that is actually funny. It's sandwiched between the cartoons, around the 8:30 mark I think (one loses track when watching 4 straight hours of television) but all you need to know is there's no need to change the channel.

Check it out next week and see what you think.

Sid F'er said...

Let's see how dedicated AMAI is to see if she goes back this far to check my response. I accidentally stumbled across the War At Home and I can honestly say that that was the single worst piece of TV programming I think I have ever seen. If it were any more lame, it wouldn't qualify for public access.