Thursday, September 15, 2005

Rock Star - Sept 14 Moist Rub

Tonight was the final elimination episode. Next week, nobody will be eliminated. One will be crowned the new INXS. The other two will be eliminated.

Standard operating show procedures of late dictate two encores. The popular vote chose Marty. When announced, Marty had to be corralled, just like everybody else who has been chosen to encore first in the two-encore world - you’d think they’d all have it figured out by now - as he started for the stage. To his, and the others’ defense, I know they’re hopped up with adrenaline up there, so it’s understandable. But I still have to roast them for it. It’s my dooty. To no one’s surprise, there was to be another pre-encore. But who would pick the performer? That was our surprise tonight. Sage Dave would show us the way. He recapped: the encore performer picked one week, the INXS picked one week, Dave picked one week, the Bat-puter picked one week and Anson Williams picked one week. Could there possibly be any pickers left? I mean, Anson "Potsie" Williams is pretty much bottom of the barrel. Who could be left? That’s right, the fat old guy in the plaid shirt. And the people around him - the audience! They’ve worked so hard cheering on cue this summer, clapping to the bone. It was a salty revenge. By applause, the crowed chose JD, because the world has not heard Pretty Vegas enough. Are there any other worlds I can go to?

JD subjected his song to the acoustic litmus test. It didn’t pass. With only Rafael and the other guitar guy to support him, JD resorted to crunching his nuts in a waffle iron to dab his performance with moments of castrato. I noticed JD has a little Charlie Chaplin in him on stage. Maybe it’s the duck feet. Sadly, this song may be on the promotional train to hitsville, so this won’t be the last time I’ll have to suffer it. It ain’t pretty after the show. Nor during.

Marty followed JD by extending the audience more influence with the direction of the show. He could sing Trees acoustically or sing it electrifyingly. If they chose electric, he would also sacrifice his blue Gibson cut out geetar. Naturally, the audience chose destruction, and Marty obliged. By "natrually" I mean "no shit". After the taping, Mark Burnett fired the director and hired the audience, since they’ve done such a fine job. And, they work for free. Eventually, Marty did Trees again, and everybody rejoiced. He hugged Brooke and told her it was from me.

I like to people watch. More specifically, I like to see if I can spot rock ‘n rollers driving on the highway. It used to be very difficult. Rockers would drive all different kinds of cars; from high end makes like Ferrari and Lamborghini to refabbed classics like T-Birds and Mustangs and all sorts of rad rides in between. Nowadays, it’s no fun, since all I have to do is look for a Honda Civic to know that a famous rock star is in my midst. Nothing says ROCK AND ROLL like the enigmatic and chic Honda Civic. This is the car the final three Rockers will be given after tonight’s show as a reward. What’s the matter - they could find any deals on some used Vegas? How about a nice family truckster? They could have at least given them each a Ridgeline. The Honda Civic suggests reliability and responsibility, not the hard driving edge we want to feel from our rock heros. If nothing else, they shouldn’t have any car trouble on the way to the gig.

Back at the mansion, the remaining rockers reveled with a rightful repast of beer nuts, brisket and borsht after the performance show. Or maybe it was sushi. Nothing fun happened there. MiG babbled about god knows what. Suzie beat MiG to the punch to request a group hug. Then they all cuddled up on the couch to watch the third season of Laverne and Shirley on dvd.

After some uninformative and banal discussion between the Rockers and the Dave/INXS, we found out that Suzie was the first elimatee. Her INXS challenge was Suicide Blonde. Yeah, the ominous implication in the title is obvious. Say no more. As usual, she gave a solid performance - even sassed it up a bit. Although, I saw glimpses of Joan Rivers in her face at times. Maybe it was her hair do that did it. My therapist will hear about this tomorrow. He won’t like it. I’ve come so far. Garry asked her what this experience has taught her. She replied, "Calculus and some ancient Peruvian customs". Andrew questioned whether Peru has been around long enough to have "ancient" customs, proposing they may merely be "historical". Suzie qualified her statement by claiming relevance to the life of fruit fly. Kirk said, "Why is everybody looking at me?" Suzie also claimed that she now has belief in her talent. And she believes that children are our future. And she believes in Father Christmas.

Next, the INXS threw JD to the lions arming him only with By My Side. He sang it well, except his guttural extensions on some syllables were annoying. If he could learn to rid our lives of that, he might not be so bad. He brought out the waffle iron again at the end of the song. I guess he had one shard of nut that wasn’t crushed yet. JD told us he learned that he was focused on becoming a member of the INXS but that it’s important to play well with others, too. He used the word peripheral. I think it was left on Brooke’s Teleprompter and he said it by mistake. Eddie Vedder sang he can’t find a better man.

Finally, we had some suspense swill to sit in for a moment. Who was the last member of the bottom three, Brooke? She said Marty’s name first, and he fell for it. Silly, rabbit, the bottom three is for MiG. Of course it was MiG. When he realized he was guaranteed a spot in the finale, Marty flipped the bird to everyone, jumped in his brand new Civic, drove off the stage and crashed onto the audience floor. Embarrassed, he slouched in his seat and hid in the car until the end of the show. Either that or he had a brain hemorrhage.

What You Need is what MiG needed to perform. Did you see the microphone flip he did between hands tonight? I referred to it yesterday. He did it a number of times tonight. I do that with my beer bottles while I'm sitting at the bar. MiG and I are cut from the same mold. Except, he got the inside of the mold and I got the outside. MiG seemed like he was pushing too hard to keep up with the funk. That’s how you get hemorrhoids. Don’t ever push too hard. This caused his voice to crack multiple times. The INXS praised him, but I thought he fell short. There was energy in the performance, but the House Band generated it, not MiGgy-Poo. Toward the end of the song, MiG struggled to rip his shirt. I’m sure he intended to rip it straight through, but he couldn’t do it. It reminded me of PeeWee Herman trying to lift the five pound weights over his head in PeeWee’s Big Adventure (everybody I know has a big but). The INXS asked MiG to compare and contrast the Mongolian invasion of China of 1279 with the increased use of weathervanes by Nebraskan farmers in the 1950's. MiG said after faking his way for weeks through trial and error and glazing the voters with putrid sugary man goo, he stopped doubting himself. "What about the Mongolians?" Tim asked him. "What about the Nebraskan farmers?" MiG replied. Quite right, mate. Good on ya.

Drizzle, Drazzle, Drozzle, Drome, Time for this one to come home. They’re talking about you, Suzie. You’re the only one that comes close to resembling Tooter Turtle. Funny, she didn’t cry as much as she did when others bit it. Maybe her tear ducts had dried up from over use. I think she knew it was imminent. Forty times in the bottom three is not a good track record. What could the INXS do? They are too polite to shower with a woman. MiG, JD and Marty weeped at the thought of the exodus of the last remnants of poon-tang in the mansion. I wonder which one of them will get to be the Lucky Pierre in the party train. Suzie was gracious and full of love for everybody. I will miss her. Dave didn’t say anything about him performing with Suzie in the future, but to show her how upset he was, he super glued his hand to the top of his head.

51 comments:

Devious D said...

Whoa, I'm exhausted just thinking of all the quality writing time you and Sid put into the last two days. And from the show tonite. Nice psychoanalysis of JD, stress on the psycho.

Husband and I were betting heavily on MiG to go, JD the other option (but hard to believe they'd boot him after letting him air that dreck of a song 4x), with heavy odds that no way could it be Suzie. Oh, the tangled webs those sneaky network spiders weave (and there are so many more this summer, our network broadcasters were quick to inform us last nite).

I mean, really. As much as I don't think Suzie could emotionally stand to front the band, JD's just as much an emotional liability. And I have to say, Suzie really convinced me that her voice would be a good fit for our boys INXS.

No, I'm not betraying Marty, just that if it weren't him, I'd pick Suzie and keep my fingers crossed the waterworks are just a fad. But, well. That was some weird ending.

Meanwhile, we ID'd what MiG was doing up there on stage--Broadway version of Michael Hutchence. Guess someone had to do it.

Now, how will I make it till Sunday? Hoping for more insightful--or crass--comments...

Devious D said...

OK, I know someone will soon be saying--shut her up, already. But I had to share. Just uncovered my official autographs from none other than OBINXS, scored after a concert at Mississippi Nights in St. Louis in the summer of '83. Looks like I've got all their siggies except for MH. Omen or coincidence? Actually, if memory serves, he was too busy making better friends with the enterprising young lady who frenched him during the middle of the show (probably during the performance of their current hit The One Thing). Ah, the memories...

(Does this mean Marty can look forward to making similar memories?)

Sid F'er said...

Thanks for the update, Moist.
Sid had to work until 3 a.m. and obviously missed the elimination show. If anyone has a job opening for a hack writer with some mad spreadsheet skillz, let me know.

Anonymous said...

At the risk of revealing my obsessive nature or lack of life, my eagle eyes did spy sushi yet again on Mig's plate!

Poor rawkers, getting the same thing to eat all day and all of the night.

OR..... could it be that all the 'back at the mansion' stuff was filmed the same day ?!

oh the horror!

Thanks MoistRub for the insightful commentary. I will never be able to look at a Honda without smirking ever again!

Good luck Marty!

kristy

Jules said...

I missed the wanton destruction of Marty's beautiful new guitar? Damn you, college! And after that, are the people giving away all this cool new stuff to the Rockers getting a little worried about the fate of those Honda Civics?

Anonymous said...

TL, i love your wit, man.

AMAI said...

Thanks for the welcome, Sid (on Sep 11 entry.)

I'm curious how you know Marty and how he managed to rope you into doing this. All part of his patient controller persona, is it?

I've another suggestion - how about you just write about your everyday lives? Or if Marty is in regular contact, you could keep us apprised of his "Life on the Road" (that's assuming he is selected, which isn't out of the question.) Just because JD looks like a sure-fire choice, means NOTHING in Mark Burnett's world.

I've watched every season of Survivor; it's true this Rock Star show was a departure for him, since it involved real-time results, that couldn't be covered off with misdirectional editing every time.

I enjoy reading your blog (what a strange word that is) and have your site saved on my favorites. I will return on a regular basis to read whatever you decide to write about.

Did you both enjoy doing this recap gig? You're both very entertaining.

dalebud said...

Let's all chip in and send a card to JD, congratulating him on his brand new house.

Hey Mack, I search for your posting on the same but couldn't find it. What discussion was it in?

Sid F'er said...

Perhaps after the finale, we might reveal our connection, if any, to Marty; but just to clear up any misconceptions, I've never been "in contact" with Marty so I doubt that he would start being in contact with me regardless of the results of this show. It's not like we're buddies or anything. If you mentioned me to him, his response, at best, might be, "oh, yeah, is he that Sid F'er?" And I don't speak for Moist.
Moist and I just started this on our own in email form to size up Marty's competition and to amuse ourselves. Eventually distribution of the emails grew and the blog form took on a life of it's own. Marty does not have enough patience to control us, not to mention the fact that we have nothing of value to control except for that Ryan Leaf rookie card and there's no way he's getting that.
Thanks for the comments, but stop watching so much TV and get out and play some miniature golf or something.

abe vigoda said...

Someone wants to know details about Sid & Moist's day to day lives? You guys have a fan. Or a stalker. How intriguing.

avin said...

Wit+plus. Found your blog last night. Very very funny. Have you already covered the johnedwardsian feat wherein a pathetic lip curling dead elvis sing alike morphs to a passive agressive more recently deceased(very dead) MH? It will be interesting to see if the canadian backwoods overbitter has sucessfully pulled the wool over sunshielded peepers of INXS. (Are they sleeping;hung-over or just not used to bright lights anymore?) Hopefully, the band of brothers is not looking to adopt a crotch rocket? Or is it all theatre.
"Rockstar-Halfway": I'm a fan and would enjoy a pre-tour series featuring MARTY, INXS and the gang; has MR considered it?
Of course this is assuming Marty wins. If he doesn't "Halfway" could consist of more foolish footage of JD asleep with sis's picture tucked under the covers.

AMAI said...

Miniature golf? Going outside is so 9-5. I'm not going to do it for entertainment.

Too much TV, eh? Tip of the iceberg. I blame Mr AMAI. When I met him I didn't own a TV.

Stalker? Moi? (Canadian content requirements have now officially been met.) I just like funny recaps.

ANTM is a lot of chicks posing. Usually there's a lingerie episode. Plenty of dumbass commentary from the girls and the "panel of experts" (which this season won't include the Grande Bitche Janice Dickinson, but will have Twiggy.) Get the wife interested, and you're set. I figure a couple of guys like yourselves could bring the snark and really entertain the same crowd more or less whom you entertained summarizing/reporting on Rock Star.

Oh, yeah - in one of the entries you (or MR) mentioned that "Don't Change" was on the first album. It's on the second, "Shabooh Shoobah." The first album is simply titled INXS and has a painting of a boardwalk at the beach with ocean and sky. Tiny human figures dot the scene. I own a copy. Just FYI.

Nutshelling the contestants:
MiG - Keebler Elf, new character on Team America World Police; with less male genitalia than a Ken Doll and more cameltoe than most women. He HAS to be nice -it's all he's got.

JD - Seriously troubled young man who acted up and goofed off until his mommy appeared and slapped him upside the head. His sister clearly wanted to meet Marty.

Marty - hottest thing on two legs since RiffRaff (and god you need to know I fancied Riff Raff the most of all in Rocky Horror.) Brilliant approach to being a musician. His ability to channel dead artists renders him a national treasure.

Thanks again for being here, you guys. Seriously, find something else to write about. You guys rock.

Moist Rub said...

I'm sorry. I was just yelling at my dogs. They're killing something in the backyard. I'm a pacifist. Unless somebody wants to kick my ass.

Anonymous said...

Marty should be well pleased to know that he's the hottest thing on 2 legs since the incestuous gay balding humpback guy from Rocky Horror.
Even if the band doesn't pick him, it would've been worth all the effort.

.tk. said...

to quote amai:
"Marty - hottest thing on two legs since RiffRaff (and god you need to know I fancied Riff Raff the most of all in Rocky Horror.)"

YES! YES!... THAT'S WHO HE LOOKS LIKE...YOU HIT IT RIGHT ON THE HEAD!
see before i simply respected him as an artist... and now... i want him to touch me naughty.

.tk.

Andree said...

There's a thread at the "official" boards for INXS Blunders. I say (as I said there) we need a tape of said blunders, with Sid f'er and Moist Rub as the Hosts. Like Siskel and Ebert. But better.

We'd get the joy(?) of rewatching the biggest mistakes, as well as the extra treat of your commentary.

I'm thinking most of it could be the stupid things they actually said on the show. But I'd sure like a few Sid f'er and Moist Rub voice-overs. As well as a few of those images that were linked to during the commentary.

While I continue to forget to visit the adult diaper section to score some Depends prior to reading this blog, I'm sure you gents are responsible for surging sales throughout the country.

I thank you for your humor. Depends thanks you too.

Andree

Anonymous said...

Why do people bother to post with the Anonymous tag? Are they special, so very special? Would their friends deadzone them at their regular boards if they knew they were here?

We'll get back to the Riff Raff thing after someone tells me if I may post a link to some wickedly funny Photoshop work. There's Rocky Horror stuff and a Fat Elvis you wouldn't want to miss.

But I really want to thank Mack the Fork for the inspiration. He replied to the Aug 2 summary with the following:
JD will be around until a villain is no longer needed on the show. $10 says his sidekick mini-JD shows up next Monday, and they diabolically try to blackmail INXS for ... a MILLION dollars bwaaahaaha.
Suddenly, it became clear. MiG as Mini-Me to JD's evil Mike Myers.

AMAI said...

Look at that. I posted as anonymous with my rant against posting anonymously.

Oh god, HAHAHAHA. I'm clearly drunk on Love of Marty.

Anonymous said...

Man, you are hillarious, I love u.

AMAI said...

http://p085.ezboard.com/fsurvivorsucksfrm16.showMessageRange?topicID=4464.topic&start=4021&stop=4040

Will this work? Just copy it into your address box. Put down your drink and hang up the phone.

Then scroll down for the Elvis shot.

AMAI said...

Don't scroll too fast. This is one of the funniest pages in the whole thread. Lots of fun all the way down the page.

Mack the Fork said...

amai,

If it were up to me, I'd link away. I don't think there are a whole lot of rules here, and I'm up for some good Photoshop work (I'm a big fan of worth1000.com)

Mack the Fork said...

Dalebud, maybe a search for "congrat" might do it. But I believe they were clever enough to just ignore our poke pokie pokes.

Mack the Fork said...

Oh, I see amai has already linked. F'in hilarious! The Elvis w/bullhorn rocks.

Anonymous said...

I have to say that this is one of the funniest damn things I have ever read and I've only read one entry. All the opinions are right on the money.
Thanks!!

not anonymous just nameless said...

Gotta add my 2 million pennies worth here, or negative 2 million, as the case may be.

Found this spot this past Weds while waiting for the black Weds show to come on. Spent 4 friggin' hours reading this stuff. F'in' hilarious. Helped me to put this show back into a better perspective. There should be some sort of warning before entering this blog...somewhere along the lines of: "May cause serious endorphin dump leading to possible suicide Wednesday or Thursday side effects due to uncontrolled laughing fits"

Went into this show feeling somewhat apathetic to the whole cause, having been a huge fan of 'the INXS' for the majority of my adult life. All contestants remained pretty much nameless, faceless, and meaningless up until that oh so fateful night when the 'mad conductor' Marty man caught my ears with his rendition of Wish You Were Here. He'd already caught my eyes a show or two before when there was a certain camera shot of his face and I swear I saw MH's soul in there somewhere. Wasn't quite convinced on the voice yet.

He only got better after that. I started paying closer attention. Staying up to actually watch on the nights the shows aired rather than recording them and getting much needed sleep. I even stayed up late on the last two voting nights just to vote for him. Thank dog that part's over.

Now it's down to the 3. Only one choice is obvious to me. I'm back to feeling fairly apathetic again. My vision of the future of "the INXS":

INXS w/JD: Great future doing the Las Vegas circuit night after night. I will remain relatively 'wealthy' because I will not put money into anything from INXS ever again. Although, I will go broke buying into Lovehammers futures.

INXS w/MiG: Great future doing a Warner Bros production of a Saturday morning cartoon, somewhere between The Osmonds and The Jackson Five (yes, I used to watch those Saturday morning faves...no cable when I was growing up. Also walked 5 miles to and from school in the blowing cold, snow, sleet, and rain of the Illinois winters. And in my day...blah blah blah) I will succeed in saving my hard earned cash because I will not buy anything INXS related, unless they throw out somemore never before heard treasures. Again, that cash will go to Lovehammers.

(And whose idea was this Lovehammers name? I'm lucky I heard his voice before I knew he was part of this band, I would never have bothered to listen to music from this band, sometimes names just turn me off)

INXS w/"mad conductor" Marty man: Could be interesting. I will have to go broke buying everything possible put forth by this venture. Hope they manage to meet at the halfway point of that bridge. Only one strike against him...didn't really like that comment he made about people not caring about albums, only singles...hoping that was just some crazed nightmare. I don't waste my money on a single song. My cd collection is nothing but collections by the artists who were good enough to impress me into spending my hard earned cash by buying up everything commercially available.

Whatever...thanks for this blog. I'll miss you guys and all the followup comments. Thanks for the laughs.

"Love and Peace"

AMAI said...

Only one strike against him...didn't really like that comment he made about people not caring about albums, only singles.

Hi nameless.

I'm glad you mentioned that. Before you worry about that wee tidbit, consider the following:

1. Those were highly edited interviews. We didn't hear Marty explain what he meant, only saw horrified looks on INXS faces (for all we know, taken from a completely different interview altogether. Yes, I know EPMB - Evil Pecker Mark Burnett. There is no low beneath which he will not stoop.)

2. Marty might have been talking about the popularity of "Greatest Hits" albums and "soundtrack/music inspired by" albums. My current collection is filled with such albums. Most of the CDs I listen to regularly are such albums - and they consist essentially of singles.

The comment was lifted out of context and I won't mark a strike against him until I hear the full story.

I do hope you'll keep checking in here. I know I will. I'll post until they shut this place down. I'm trying to convince Sid & Moist to cover America's Next Top Model.

AMAI said...

This set of comments from late August is worth an Encore:

dalebud said...

Sid, watch out on the comments about Moist accidentally hanging himself. That's how we got in this whole INXS mess in the first place.

5:36 PM
Sid F'er said...

dalebud -
That's my point. I'd hate to have to do a Blogger: LeperPop to find a replacement. Stick all the finalists in the Blogger Home Office and have George Will deliver the weekly clinics. Then the tearful goodbye each week as I tell someone that they just aren't roit for OBLeperPop.
Thank god MR is OK.

Devious D said...

OK, here's my take on Marty's "single" comment. Bear in mind that I'm of "nameless"'s generation, remembering both sets of cartoons very well. But lots of the music-buying public today-- from what I understand from my nieces, nephews, cousins, who are in that all-important teen buying segment--are "buying" their music online for their I-pods, computers, whatever other MP3 players. That means they're buying a song at a time.

I'm not discounting that severe editing of the show may have distorted Marty's answer somewhat and the reaction to it, but my hit is he was talking about the phenomena I just described.

Not saying I like the way the music world's going, but I think it's Marty being savvy to something that's long past being a trend and is actuality--whereas INXS, being more of my generation, may not want to think about that.

That said, when a teenaged cousin recently let me check out the music on his I-pod, I had to razz him that he needed to buy a whole album for a band, otherwise how else would you really get to know their music? He just cringed at my use of the word "album" and said--I know their music, I just buy the ones I like.

Ha! Clearly hasn't gotten the idea yet--that repetitive listening of a whole body of work sometimes breeds severe content. But the joke's probably on me because "albums" in whatever format could definitely be on their way out.

Still, hard to imagine new bands not having to have at least a small collection of work, if only to provide a demo in order to get gigs booked. No one wants to book a band who plays only one good song. Who knows...

AMAI said...

Thanks for that information, devious d. I didn't know about that phenomenon, but it makes Marty's comment make a lot more sense as a stand-alone, without my meaning.

The thing is, I get the vibe from Marty that he's thinking, you make a bunch of successful singles, THEN make the album out of that.

INXS' problem is they have an album they wanna roll out NOW. As in yesterday. They're willing as per usual to judge by the last few albums, to have a couple of hits and hope they'll drive album sales.

If the album is full of shlock, it won't sell.

Marty's way is smart business thinking.

It would be great for him to get this gig - for the reason that it would be an apprenticeship for him dealing with the international market. He could learn a lot from them and their staff of managers, PR people, producers, etc and so on.

I want him to win so much! INXS, wake up to yourselves! Pick Marty, for all our sakes.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Why do people bother to post with the Anonymous tag? Are they special, so very special? Would their friends deadzone them at their regular boards if they knew they were here?

Some of us who comment here aren't on other boards. If we are special it's only because we are here to support Sid F'er and Moist Rub, not fanatical viewers of a tv show. We don't know you so why should you know our names? Why can't we comment without strangers demanding to know our identities? But really, welcome aboard and do try to post more often.

Moist Rub said...

Al Gore's Internet has provided new and exciting means of distribution of music (and other things), rendering the album obsolete, or at least destined to a niche art form. There is no need to package a group of songs on a physical medium (cd, tape, vinyl) anymore. Singles and "pick and choose" shopping seems to be the way of the future. Remember back in the fifties and early sixties? (I don't). It was a singles world back then, too, until The Beatles, et al, helped change that. Life is like your underwear. If it doesn't change, it gets stinky and stained.

AMAI said...

Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry that I sounded so mean. (Even tho it was hilarious that I erred and posted that rant under the Anon tag. Have to remember to type my id each time.) I was trying to make jokes about it while having a hectic day at work.

"AMAI" is an acronym of a board name I've been using a long time. At some boards I'm AMAI and on ezboard, I'm AllMenAreIslands.

Hope you'll pick something to call yourself next time. It would be nice to meet you properly.

AMAI said...

I agree with you Moist, to a certain extent. "There's no need" for albums in order to release singles, but that doesn't mean there's not a desire to have albums.

More & more, movies and TV shows are creating soundtracks containing songs from wildly differing musical genres. A great example is the Sopranos. How else would you find Dylan, Springsteen and Frank Sinatra on the same CD? It's one of the best collections of music I've ever heard!

People can create their own collections, both of a single artist (band or solo singer) and of different artists whose work evokes a mood. CDs for jogging, for relaxing, for rainy days, for committing murder. Ahem.

And LOL. But it's forward thinking on Marty's part, and INXS would be foolish to ignore it and him.

bletchingly said...

Sid F'er and Moist Rub, people are now posting lots of paragraphs in your comment section.

Do you fear them?

Moist Rub said...

"Fear is for people who give a shit."

- Moist Rub 2005

AMAI said...

"There's nothing to fear but an empty liquor cabinet."

AMAI, Sept 17, 2005

Sid F'er said...

I have no fear of paragraphs. I find them very useful to help separate and organize ideas.

Sid F'er said...

MR -
I finally watched the mansion show and elimination show today. I saw that Joan Rivers thing in Suzie while she was sitting in the rocker den and I saw the JD's Charlie Chaplin duck feet. Very impressive observations. Now I know why LA Ray likes to read along at home during the west coast broadcast.

Sid F'er said...

Andree -
Thanks for the comments. I hope we're better than Siskel and Ebert since Siskel's been dead for several years. I know I've slacked off a bit lately due to work obligations, but I'm not dead yet.

Sid F'er said...

Re: America's Next Top Model
Caught 5 minutes of what I think was a rerun of this show while looking for RS repeats.
This show needs no commentary. The models inane banter and mind-numbingly imbecile comments speak for themselves. All a blog would do is repeat these statements and needlessly point out their stupidity.
e.g. Model 1 is told by the judges her face is too sweet. Model 2 is told that she is too shy and unconfident. Model 2 tells Model 1 that she, Model 2, is screwed, but Model 1 can at least change her face.
Who knows, maybe I'll give it a chance some day.

Andree said...

Sid F'er and Moist Rub:

I came across this site as a reference from another site, which was a reference from another site. I think it may have started out at the "Knitting for Charity" site.

Anyway, since everyone here seems to know you both, and I don't know squat (although I do know how to squat), is there a "history of Moist Rub and Sid F'er" or an "About Us" area?

It's been worth watching the show if ONLY to read the recap from both of your points of view.

I'm thinking franchise opportunities. I can't think of one class at university that wouldn't have been infinitely more interesting with your reviews of Tribal Customs, Renaissance Art, or Psycholinguistics.

Your analysis of the show has brought to mind that we may need an analysis of fast food, new cars, new fashion, and all new shows in the fall season.

I think there was a movie that had nothing but voice-overs, and it was hilarious. Nothing compared to what you two could do.

If it were up to me, you'd both have a fabulous contract AND a Honda Ridgeline. Each. You wouldn't have to share or find out that one of you gets the Ridgeline and the other has just been eliminated. See? I'm generous.

Alas, I'm a shut in and a loser...uh...disabled, so I can't even be your first stalker. So how about it guys? We need humor. We need your humor.

Oh, P.S., no cable shows. I don't have cable. I don't get NBC on my rabbit ears either. Try to stick to CBS or ABC, eh? Thanks guys. Knew you'd understand.

Andree

Anonymous said...

P.S.S. I'd really like a tip on what the "F'er" means. Because I have it in my mind that it rhymes with "ducker" and when you refer to your wife as "Mrs. F'er" I think that's just rude.

Andree

AMAI said...

Andree, I'm a newcomer like you. I'm just more of a postwhore.

re ANTM
No pressure. It was just a suggestion. Besides, they probably won't ask the girls to pose with a giant tarantula crawling on their faces like last season, so you've already missed the best this show had to offer.

Sid F'er said...

The less you know of Sid and Moist, the better.
However, your guess on the F'er part is correct. It was given to me many years ago and haven't been able to shake it. Mrs. F'er knew what she was getting into when she married me, so don't worry about her.
We still have plans to continue posting here. It may or may not involve TV since we're not big TV whores.

Anonymous said...

Mystery Science Theater 2000. Excellent taste, and true, this is a lot like that. I would buy the entire season of Rockstar if y'all would do voiceovers.

Andree said...

See, I KNEW it was a brilliant idea. It would be a tape set worth keeping and passing on for generations.

"Sid F'er and Moist Rub do Rockstar:INXS".

Need a catchier title.

"Moist Rub and Sid F'er do Rockstar:INXS"?

Note how I am an equal opportunity poster?

I would rather have had you both doing a follow-up show on the same network. But I guess a tape would do. Any idea what the legalities of that are? If you can sell parts of the show on a tape with your commentary?

"Rockstar: Moist F'er"?

Andree said...

Aw, I'm an idiot. I didn't catch that the first Elvis picture did NOT have a megaphone. And there I was thinking it was an Elvis thing that I could blame J.D. for bringing along with him from his glorious past (and destitute future).

Then again, those guys (not THAT guy in the picture) can make up to ten grand a night.

Andree

L A Ray said...

I tend to agree the less known about our trusty bloggers the better. Ignore the men behind the curtain.

Anonymous said...

Ahaa....I will remain forever glued to this spot until I find this duet (MR and S'fer) meaningful yet again. Can't see the America's top model thing happening for me unless I actually deem this show worth watching, which I won't.

Ok, here I sit, less than two hours until the Sunday Mansion show, waiting with baited breath, until the big finale show...

My big battle cry: "MCMM, MCMM, MCMM", (mad conductor Marty man over and over again) until the CBS producers finally give in to my relentless battle cry).

"His voice" is awesome, though erehwon near the match for MH's vocal stylings...it is a damn close match...he has the most growth potential towards that voice than any contestant currently on tap.

I truly hope he 'wins' the contest.

I really meant no disrespect by saying he had a strike against him with the no-one likes albums anymore.....remark. That remark just stood out in my head and it didn't bode well with my thinking of OBINXS' future very well.

I fully appreciate the context in which the show was recorded, and understand that what 'we' all got to see was not the complete context in which the show was recorded, yet I still find that remark somewhat hard to digest as I grew up in the time of the "45" which was also destined to kill the album, which did not happen.

I own an MP3 player, and have yet to be discouraged from purchasing whole albums. I, in fact, have made my first internet music purchase as a direct result of this show, which would be the mcMARTYman performances of 'Trees', and other ROCKSTAR:INXS rarities by above name mcMartyman. I will refuse to indulge CBS or Mark Burnett by purchasing any of the rest of the rot by the other contestants. I have also went as far as to purchase one of the Lovehammers' albums as a direct result of this stupid show. I will save the other purchase persuant to the success of this above named show, only if mcMartyman is the direct winner of this so called contestant based reality show. (If he loses, I will still buy the other album, I'm just saving that purchase for consolation purposes) I am hoping, rather fervantly, that he will be the winner. I can see no other possibilty. His voice is the most 'trainable' voice possible amongst the possible contestants.

I can only hope that he keeps his 'fingers' off the back catalogue as that does not need improving upon. Michael did fair justice to those songs and they do not need improving.

I can only hope that he does INXS the justice of showing them the future of their influence on ROCK n Roll, as that is what they need most of all in their quest as a contender in the future/history of rock n roll.

Long live 'mad conductor' Marty man...Love and peace forvever....from the heretofore named....linda...lin2xs2004.

To MR and S'fer...you've just got to come up with some other venue in which to voice your opinions of and to which the 'regulars' post their own followups to....I will die of absolute withrawal if you don't...I will even make myself watch the next america's top model if I absolutely have to....your humor is awesome. I don't do blogs...but found this one because of my insane love for OBINXS.

Love and Peace (once again)...and thanks.

Linda

not anonymous just nameless said...

oops, screwed up somehow, blame it on my insane madness....