Rock Star - Sept 7 Sid

You know, I wasn’t a big Brooke fan back when she was on E!, however, I never really watched E! that much. She’s no Crystal Bernard, but it might be that I detect just enough of a hint of an 80’s influence in her RS wardrobe. I can only hope she breaks out the Princess Reeboks for the finale show.

Random quick hits from the rocker den:
Dave apparently has a weird fetish for photos of chicks mowing lawns and doing other assorted yard work.
Jordis’ dreads appeared to have suffered a bit as a result of the asscake fight.
Am I the only one that detected that Suzie might have a little FP?
JD is working hard, really hard, just like President Bush.
When Brooke asked the rockers to raise their hand if they thought they deserved the encore, I know Ty was sitting somewhere reaching for the ceiling and then feeling extremely bitter after JD got it despite the fact Ty got kicked off last week.

In keeping with the recent Brady Bunch theme, before JD’s encore Dave asked that the Rock Star stage be transformed into the Pete Sterne Amateur Hour so that the whole gang could get up there and earn enough money to present a silver platter to the hurricane evacuees. Mrs. F’er was vomiting before the song even started and was in full out dry heaves by the end.

I thought JD did a good job with his encore, but wondered why he was holding his wanker like he had to take a leak or something. Unless he had to take a leak, in which case I’m wasting my time wondering. But I don’t think that’s the case since MiG always reminds him to go right before they start taping.

Brooke reminded us to start saving up for the upcoming Rock Star CD – A Sunday Afternoon at the CBS Studios.

Nothing unexpected back at the mansion after the performance show. Marty and JD were hungry and didn’t have time to get in touch with the other’s feelings. Suzie lamented over the fact that she was no Bonnie Raitt. And MiG serenaded Jordis with Always Look On the Bright Side of Life as she threatened to throw herself down the slopes of Hollywood Hills, coming to a final rest behind the second “L” in the Hollywood sign.

Before we move on to tonight’s festivities, let’s review Sid’s predictions after the Sunday mansion show. Marty is safe because he’s Marty, and MiG is safe because Calai informs us that the entire nation states of Australia and the Phillipines are voting for him.

First up…
Jordis – Need You Tonight: Even she knew it was her last performance by the time she hit the last chorus. Oh, and next someone asks you if you’re roit for a job that you want, the answer should be along the lines of “fuck yes” instead of “I hope so.”

Next…
Suzie – Never Tear Us Apart: I’ve noticed that she has this technique where she starts out very understated, then tries to bring the song to a earth shaking climax. That’s cool, but it’s getting as predictable as the turkey on wheat in my lunch everyday. When she got called for the bottom three, I wanted to see her sing but pretty soon I just wanted her to stop. Thought she way oversang the song and I swear I heard the ghost of Jessica let out a squeak at one point. I hope she thanked Jordis for the gift this week.

Finally… JD? Yep, Marty had to tell MiG to shut up and sit the hell down before Brooke changed her mind. Ah, yes, the mindfuck of having a fan base that saves your ass even when you couldn’t sing your way out of a paper bag the night before.

JD – Mystify: Well done. The finger snapping was a nice, subtle salute to everyone’s favorite beatnik Maynard G. Krebs. Even refrained from the crotch grabbing.

As predicted by anyone with an IQ greater than our sitting president, Jordis was sent packing. However, Tim, recognizing that she was going to be a huge stah, immediately left to camp out at the Hollywood Virgin Megastore so he could be the first to buy her record and watch the RS finale from his spot in line at the store.

Dave predicted that he and Jordis would make music together, but I’ll be the first to eat my asshat if that actually happens.

Then the proper goodbyes until the lonely mansion show on Sunday….