This is horrible. Mother's Day is just over a week away, and it looks as if nobody loves their mother this year. We know this because nobody has yet ordered a Rat's Ass from us to send to their mother. It's a proven fact. It is impossible to love your mother until you buy her a Rat's Ass. I am ashamed of all of us.
It's not all your fault you don't love your mother. Our marketing department has been remiss in their responsibility to remind you of your mother loving needs. And for that, we are reducing the price of The Rat's Ass by 10%. Screw it, these are our moms we're talking about - we'll make it 15%. Wait, 15% is too hard to calculate, let's make it an even 18.367%.
That's right, you can buy all the moms in your life as many Rat's Asses they want for only $49.99 each (regularly $61.24* for those of you doing math at home).
For more information about The Rat's Ass and how to order, click here. If you missed that link, try clicking here. Or here. We understand not everybody is a marksman with the old mouse pointer. Try here if you missed the other links. OK, one more time and that's it. HERE.
Prototype displayed. The actaul one your mom will receive will be much better, I'm sure.
*before you start whining, call the government about this damn inflation thing.
6 comments:
That looks more like the ass end of a cat.
I don't think the tagline "I give a cat's ass" has quite the same meaning.
You better get a-sewing if you're going to be able to fill all the Mother's Day orders for rat's asses that you'll get now! Unless you're running the sweatshop that employs those emanciated underemployed rock star types.
I'm thinking tho that it looks a bit "manly" -- mebbe I should order the "I <3 Dear ol' Dad" model.
I can't spel -- I should have said "emaciated".
What would "emanciated" mean, anyway?
Key, some kids get grounded when they act up. I've heard that in the Rub family, they sew rat's asses. So you can stop worrying about those rock star types.
That has got to be the scaries thing I have ever seen!
The actual one is going to be much better than the prototype?
How could it not be?
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