Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Book Excerpt

Below is an excerpt from The Moist Rub Guide To Effective Bachelor Living, my new book coming to a bookstore near you sometime later when I get around to writing it.

From Chapter 6: Take Off Your Socks and Stick Out Your Gut, We’re Going Into the Kitchen.

Fellas, make sure your kitchen timer does not sound like your smoke alarm. When the timer beeps to tell you your food is ready for mauging, you will think it’s the smoke alarm and ignore it like you always do when your smoke alarm goes off while you are cooking something in the oven because of the smoke that usually develops from your oven being so crusty and nasty (see Chapter 9: How To Buy New Appliances When the Old Ones Get Gross). By the time you figure out what's going on forty-five minutes later, your pizza rolls will be burnt.

Do not fret should this happen. The pizza rolls will still be edible, but should not be served as an entrée. Make yourself a sandwich and eat the sooty pizza roll chips on the side. Garnish with a hot dog, serve on a paper towel and wash it all down with about eight beers (see Chapter 13: Always Drink At Least Eight Beers for more information about drinking eight beers).


mister5incher said...

Nice wiener.

Anonymous said...

That hot dog looks enticing. Oh, and nice wiener too!