Thursday, March 27, 2008

Sid's Little Instruction Booklet

Our office is mostly wireless, but the other day I decided to check out what other networks were in my airspace. Most of them were the normal technical sounding names like “linksys731” or “0782475gsx”, but one of them was simply named “forgiveness”. It kind of creeped me out. If our router ever goes out, you might think that “forgiveness” might be the signal to try to pirate, but it still scares me. So much that I’m thinking of subletting and moving.

And now to digress. I was enjoying my walk to the train tonight through the rain and snow mix that was blowing sideways at times in this first week of spring, when I got stuck behind a slow walker. Anyone who knows me knows that this one of the many things I find annoying in life. Even towards the top of my list. But this girl smelled good. Like really good. Suddenly I wasn’t so agitated. But I still sprinted around her the first opportunity I got and stomped in a puddle to make my point. Okay, I really didn’t do that. I just pushed her in the mud and kicked her in the head with my iron boot. I didn’t that, either. That never happens. It was a dumb statement… skip it.

The weatherman reported that some areas received hail one inch in diameter today. Come on, the first thing they teach you in meteorology school is to use common objects to describe hail – pea-sized, marble-sized, testicle-sized, and the ever popular golf-ball sized hail.

I was wearing my Blackhawks knit hat the other day and some dude tried talking to me about the Blackhawks in the elevator. Look… it’s not a conversation piece, buddy. I just like the logo and it keeps my shaved head warm. Just get in and face forward and let’s do this without any socialization and nobody gets hurt.

Come to think of it, that's pretty much what my last hooker told me, too. Hey, give me a break - not all of us can afford those $4,000 gals. Client 89 gets no respect.


ll said...

So what, exactly, did she smell like?

Tequila, by chance?

gina said...

Did the hooker make you eat your vegetables, too?

keysunset said...

For some odd reason, when I read the title of this blog in the list of entries for the month, I read it as Sid's Little Destruction Booklet.

Hmmmmmm, there might be an idea, too.