Saturday, March 01, 2008

Neuro Misfirings

You might be a racist if… I used ethnic groups as the punchlines to two of my jokes this week. Yep, that’s right – I broke a workplace taboo and mentioned the “fucking Swiss” and the “evil Danes” just for a laugh. But the material killed.

Tattoo Removal Made Easy – book a room at the Tulsa Marriott. Stand in shower. Brace yourself. Place tattooed area directly in front of fire hose pressure shower head. Turn on shower. Wait two minutes. Pat dry. Sure it’s painful, but I don’t have to be ashamed of my Where’s The Beef? and Luke <3 Laura tats anymore.

I dig college radio. In Texas I used to listen to a station out of The University of North Texas. It was previously called North Texas University, but when they changed the name of the school they didn’t change the station called letters from KNTU.

Whenever I see something black cherry flavored it sounds really good and I usually order it, but 9 times out of 10 I’m disappointed. It’s like dating a really hot girl.

I recently heard the Theme from Rockford Files. Televisions shows just don’t have good theme songs or opening montages anymore. Takes away from valuable ad time, I suppose.

That would totally suck if wombs were made out of wood and you had to spend the first half of your life just trying to get the splinters out of your body.

5 comments:

keysunset said...

Cool. More from the mind of Sid.

I had to read paragraph #3 several times before I got it. I am dim today.

With the water shortage here, I may need to head out to Tulsa to blast the dirt off come summer. I'll keep your rec in mind.

The term black cherry (which I too am usually disappointed with the taste. So I don't order/buy anything black cherry anymore) always makes me thing of "Black Betty" bam-ba-lam.

I LOVE those old tv shows opening themes and montages! S.W.A.T. had a great one too -- crazy police van driving, guys running around with guns, jumping through windows, rappelling down a wall. Fabulous. I always loved the "Kung Fu" opening too.

Ah, thanks for the memories.

ll said...

Yup. Absolutely ADD.

There is medicine for that ya know.

Anonymous said...

Mitch Hedberg's got nothing on you.

Especially life.

lim said...

Oh, to be a fly on the wall in the corridors of your mind....there would never be a dull moment.

Pinnochio said...

I came from a wooden womb. Cedar. It smelled nice in there. Just saying...