Sunday, March 16, 2008

Strippers, Tequila and Broken Furniture

I went to a party this weekend. No, really, stop laughing.

So I was talking to this guy - no, really, stop laughing.

I did actually attend a social function by my own will and actually initiated a conversation with someone I didn't know. Here's part of the conversation:

Guy: I've got a story for you. [to his wife] Should I tell him the story?

Guy's Wife: Sure, tell him the story.

Guy: Okay. So how old are your kids?

Me: I don't have any kids.

Guy: Well then I'm not telling you the story.

Guy: Call me if you decide to have kids and I'll tell you the story.

There was also Cosmetic Surgery Girl who kept freaking me out with her Carrot Top face. Very Loud Girl, who did give me a secret recipe. Obsessed With Golf Guy who couldn't believe that Tiger made that putt. Can you believe he made that putt? I can't be he made that putt. Son of a bitch, he made that putt.

I know it sounds like hell, but it was actually pretty amusing. And the food kicked total ass. It's just that I suck at parties.

Most people my age only care about their kids or wine or golf. I don't drink wine, I don't golf, and I usually don't like their kids.

I have way more in common with people half my age, but it's too creepy to hang out with them.

So that's why I spend my free time with my bicycle. But if it starts playing golf or has any kids then I'm selling it.


keysunset said...

I know it sounds like hell, but it was actually pretty amusing.Yea, Party Sid! The Sid-meister, the Sid-inator, working the crowd.

I wish I knew the guy's story ... and a secret recipe for what? Ah, but that's a secret.

Oh, and you'd better check the water bottle on your bike, in case it's started drinking wine. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Carrot that is creepy!

HR said...

You should call him some night and tell him you think you're having kids.

HE said...

And that really was a spectacular putt Tiger made. And I'm not into golf either.

ll said...

So. I see your OCD has oozed it's way into your titles. That or it's Tourette's.

Now if only the Mrs. were becoming a shrink type DR. She would have herself a great case study with you!!

Gina said...

"Usually" don't like their kids?

What makes you like the kids you do?

edeevee said...

See? That's why SHOULD HAVE HAD kids. They grow up, and if you do it right, they turn out pretty cool and then you can hange out with them and all their cool friends. And it's not quite as creepy. Think ahead, dude, think ahead.

P.S. I wrote to you last spring when my kid had oral cancer. Your blog was a big help to me then. Whether you care to know it or not -- the kid's doing great :)