What Was Michael Clayton About?

I watched the Oscar nominated film Michael Clayton last night. It is one of those movies where you have no clue what is going on at the beginning and you slowly figure it out as the movie proceeds. I think the technical term for this type of film is a “WHO THE HELL IS THAT GUY? WASN’T SHE JUST MURDERED IN THE LAST SCENE? WHERE ARE THEY GOING NOW? JUST TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!...oh, OK, I get it, but I still don’t know who that one guy is” movie.

Unfortunately, I was never able to determine what all the inchoate scenes at the opening of the movie meant because I was distracted. Distracted by the looks of George Clooney.

No, not his fabulous good looks. Something about his looks that is much scarier. Perplexing, even. I think you ladies, and some of you guys, better sit down for this. It’s not going to be pretty.

While I watched Michael Clayton I was drawn to Clooney’s stern, rugged, yet kind and approachable, but somewhat tired and a little paunched in places it didn’t used to be, face. He reminded me of somebody, but I couldn’t figure out whom. This dilemma haunted me for the entire film. Then, at the end, when he was taunting the mean lady who won the best supporting actress Oscar, it came to me. George Clooney is turning into Raymond Burr! DUNT DUNT DAHHH!!!

Shocking, isn’t? But it’s true. I have proof:


I know he doesn’t look exactly like Raymond Burr. Yet. But he will. Trust me. He is a Raymond Burr inkling right now and will eventually blossom into his full Burritude in a few years. When the space-aged series Ironside 2020, starring George Clooney as Robo T. Ironside, with Abigail Breslin as the insufferable Fran Belding, comes to HBO someday you can tell people you heard it here first.