Monday, July 11, 2005

Rock Star - Day One

We'll exclude Marty from our comments -- he rocked and he's not acting like an ass. And he didn't take off his shirt on the first day or cry about anything.
Wife and I easily picked the same 3 to go and also picked Dana to get the ax. What the F was that she was doing up there? Besides forgetting the lyrics, Suze seems like a royal bitch and we don't like that she's thinking she's Marty's otolaryngologist. What med school did you go to Suze? Right. So shut the hell up and go iron my boxers. There's a reason JD was living in his car. If you're a rock star and can't find a broad to shack with, you suck. Drive your house over to Jiffy Lube and fill out an application, buddy.
On the flipside, we both agreed that after Marty we have to go with Daphna. She rocked like no legal secretary has ever rocked before. And it appears that she may have boned Gene Simmons.
Next, I put Heather on my list. Besides throwing down a cool performance and a cool look, I read up on her bio and her favorite CD is Concrete Blonde. I'm also more impressed that she works on her own car than knowing her vocals are on some Outkast album.
Wife thought Wil was hot. Good for her.
They overrated Jordis, but I still thought she was good. She's no Roger Daltry, but few women are. And she digs Etta James. I'll be at the Etta James show this Sunday night. Coincidence?
Now the alphabetical order:
Brandon - Even though he's 30 years younger, I can't get over the fact that he looks like a tore up Steven Tyler.
Deanna - Wake her up and tell her the 70's are over.
Jessica - Nice low riders, but couldn't hear much of her voice over the music. Not a good sign. And her bio is full of shame.
Mig - Nice name and way to ruin Nirvana.
Neal - Dude, that has to be the most boring Mick impersonation I've ever seen.
Tara - I can't remember what she sang, but she's from Canada and likes hockey and Zeppelin so we'll give her a break this week.
Ty - Total pretender. Give up the mohawk, Slappy, and go back to soft rock and Broadway choruses.

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