Monday, July 25, 2005

Rock Star - July 25

I miss Dana. I find myself curious what she might have thrown down next. But I quickly digress. Another mansion show.
OK, we get it - Neal was a great guy. I don't mind the chicks crying because that's what chicks do. Somebody should have punched Brandon and Ty in their vaginas when they started weeping about their man-crush on Neal. After the first episode, a lot of people thought Marty was Mr. Sensitive, but at least he proved you don't have to be a pussy about it. And additional kudos to him for not wearing a stupid hat all the time.
MiG, dude, what's your wife going to think or do when you hit the road with your own MiG groupies? She needs to chill and think about the cash or she'll end boiling bunnies. Jess, nice glasses. I like the Lisa Loeb look for the interviews. It helps distract me from thinking you got on the wrong bus at the CBS depot.
This weeks clinic - also known as "Don't Listen to Dave" - was done by INXS and was a critique of previously taped performances. So what did we learn? Brandon is in the safe zone, but can do anything if he just listens to JD and stands up straight and thumps his chest. I'm not the only one that doesn't like Dapha's Elmer Fudd imitations. She was so offended that she wanted to knock Suzie's giant teeth out. JD is a cocky MF'er. Ty is not a rock star and wants to produce the stage adaptation of Kick! The Musical. Thanks for the clinic, guys.
JD discovers this week's songs and wants a friggin' medal for not peeking. I guess there's no cash in the Rock Star mansion, so he trades Jordis some smokes in return for "We Are The Champions". He should have chosen "I Never Went To Bed With An Ugly Woman (But I Sure Woke Up With A Few)" because after he sobered up he realized that he's no Freddie Mercury. Unfortunately for JD, Jordis had already blazed through the smokes and wasn't taking the song back.
So from the rehearsal previews, here's what I've got to say:
Jess - Because the Night - I have a feeling she's going to nail this one and get everyone off her back for one week.
Jordis - Gimme Some Lovin' - Not a great song choice, but she's Jordis and will do well. Won't floor anyone this week, but has the cred to coast a week.
Suzie - Superstition - Tough call. It's hard to cover Stevie well, but I think she'll live to sniff Marty's drawers another week. Wouldn't mind seeing her struggle so that she doesn't get too cocky, though.
Ty - Everybody Hurts - Since he can't choreograph this one like it's West Side Story, he'll still overact and piss off the band, who have already professed their love for all things REM.
Brandon - Tempted - In an offline discussion earlier this week with Moist Rub, I had actually suggested Tempted as a song. If Brandon doesn't get any better than rehearsal clips we saw, the band has prepared a tranquilizer dart to put him and the audience out of their respective misery before he even hits the chorus.
JD - We Are The Champions - Last we saw him doing his own arrangement again. A trip hop version that the house band is distancing from. This can go two ways. He does the trip hop version and it sucks, in which case INXS will yell at him for tricking up every goddam song. Or he does the traditional version and it will sound as bad as the Green Day cover. Either way, the band will cut him some slack, especially since they need to keep him around for the drama.
MiG - Lola - Why another Kinks song? I didn't like him at first, but he's growing on me. And he made up for the phone call by ripping on JD during rehearsal. Good stuff. I have to admit I'm kind of interested to see what he does with Lola.
No preview on what Marty, Heather, Daphna, Deanna, or Tara are working with this week. They didn't preview Neal last week, either.
I'm sure everyone wants to know who Sid wants to see go. So I'd like to see Ty, Brandon, and Suzie in the bottom three with Ty packing.
My preshow prediction:
Bottom 3: Brandon, Tara, Daphna. Time for Brandon to put shoes back on his dirty hippy feet and hit the road.

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