Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Rock Star - Aug 24 - Sid

Brooke – that was the best outfit ever. That alone justified the hour show. I wanted to hold her when she said she was shook up over Jordis and let her know everything is gonna be alright. Then she started that raise your hand, stand up, sit down, put your hands down crap and I just wanted to break her arm.

Ty wanted the encore because he put on a “show”. That’s exactly why he needs to be clotheslined whenever he gets near a mike. Deanna wanted the encore because she wrote a song. Brooke, wanting to put that doctorate in psychology to use, asked her to talk to her about how she was feeling. Saint Jordis gets credit for having the guts to go for it, when all that ever did for me was get me kicked out of bars.

Marty turned it up after OBINXS asked him to tone it down. Instead of admitting they fucked up, they used the old “it was really just a test” excuse and agreed to meet him in the middle. It’s pretty cool watching him get the upper hand on the band and watch Dave’s growing obsession with “scary conductor guy”.

Suzie has proclaimed herself “Queen of the Bottom Three”. Has everyone already forgotton about Jessica? She’ll always be the Queen of the Bottom Three to me. She set my soul on fire, she completed all my dreams. And she reinforced her reign after Suzie gets the encore and completes the song with only five “C’mon!”.

So the bottom three started out with Deanna, Ty and Jordis. It evolved to include MiG, JD and Marty, but not at the same time because then the number would no longer be three.

Ty gets called out first and is told to sing What You Need. Instead he did an SNL bit known as OperaMan. Then he proceeds to tell the band that he wants to be there so hard that it made him cry.

Next up Deanna with Elegantly Wasted. Elegantly off-key and made me miss Jessica again. Suzie looked scared for her and rightfully so. And in a desperate attempt to save her ass she offered up some subliminal body language to OBINXS by dropping to her knees to demonstrate her love of… their music, I guess?

So in a carefully orchestrated moment of drama, we pan to the remaining four – MiG, Marty, JD and Jordis – one of whom will need to sing for their lives or something equally dramatic. Whatever. Anyone with enough intelligence to open a tube of toothpaste could see it would just be another song before OBINXS bounced Deanna. I’m talking about a traditional tube with the twist off or flip top lid, but not one of them new-fangled pump deals that they try to market every few years.

Marty gets to sing Don’t Change and it’s clear he’s safe from the moment he takes the stage unless he loses control of his bowels on the Farriss Brothers Twinkie stash. That didn’t happen. He even raised his stock a bit by proving he could sing INXS music. Earlier I admitted that I’m a sucker for Suzie’s laugh or eye roll to end a song, but there’s something very cool about the way Marty snaps each song to a halt with precision. He tells them he bought their Greatest Hits CD, which is a nice touch. Shows some respect for their music without claiming to own every release, including imports, on reel to reel tape. He earns the right to sit and scampers back to the den to escape any further negative vibes.

As predicted, Deanna is not roit for OBINXS. She cries, like she ever had a real chance. It’s like that fat chick at work that is disappointed when Brad Pitt gets married. Or that dweeb with the laptop that wants to console Brooke Burke when she gets shaken up. Not a chance, so just give it rest already.

It appears that everybody but Marty and JD cried over her departure. Does that mean that they, more than the others, realize that this is a competition, or are they just more in control of their emotions? Or are they just superceding the mindfuck of being sequestered in the mansion? Stay tuned, fair viewer.

8 comments:

L A Ray said...

Jordis should have been in the bootm three. The voters have lost my respect. It's an outrage

Sid F'er said...

I never knew that reality show viewers had your respect to begin with.

We all knew Jordis belonged, but I was more shocked by Marty getting in there. He seems to have quite a fan base based on some of the message boards/blogs I've been perusing. And they seem to be the type of fans that would actually spend some effort voting.

mack the fork said...

I think having your name show up in the quick bottom three at the end of the Tuesday show motivates your fan base.

Marty's fan base may have thought that he was fairly safe, based on cumulative performance, and were comfortable tossing votes Suzie's way for the Save Suzy campgaign. There is probably only a small difference between voting totals for each contestant now that the competition has tightened up.

mack the fork said...

Beauty, Clark. I like the SNL reference. Who was that character with the pointy spike? I could see Ty working that in his next performance.

Moist Rub said...

This was clearly a production manipulation. C'mon (right Sid?), Suzie was the only one to spend no time in the bottom three? How convenient. They're poking and prodding Marty and they put him in the bottom three on purpose.

It's a conspiracy, I tell ya. They're all out to get me.

Sid F'er said...

good "point", mack. but i think marty should do the ed grimley to counter and poke fun at ty.

if he were even worth countering or poking fun at.

Devious D Honey Slim said...

My fault. I left my SO (no, not SOB) do the voting for Marty, and this is where it gets us. (But I also believe the conspiracy theory too--and any other reason you wanna throw out there.)

dalebud said...

Beauty updates Sid & Moist. I'm surprised no one gave props to Ty for his dig at JDidiot about (paraphrasing) "everybody really wanting to be in the band, just not having to say it all the time." Think OBINXS cost Marty some votes with the blind masses when they didn't know how Marty's singing "I Alone" fit in with OBINXS. Have I missed it or have "The One Thing" and "Listen Like Thieves" not been done on elimination night. Kudos to Marty for kicking butt - especially the DOOOOONNN'T CHAAAAAAAAANNNGGE at the end.