Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Rock Star - August 2 Sid

Let's get real right away:
MiG - We Will Rock You - Nicely done, but needs to find some new dance moves other than the Steven Tyler microphone dance thing. Suggest he checks out D-Qwon's Dance Grooves back at the mansion this week. Maybe they'll bring D-Qwon in to do a dance clinic this week. I get happy feet just thinking about it.
Deanna - The Only One - I thought some parts of this vocal were really good and some parts were really bad. After being informed at the vocal clinic that she's a hopeless wreck, she has obviously decided that her only chance of winning is to show her tits and give lap dances to the band. It's just crazy enough to work based on this week's comments from the band.
Marty - Arms Wide Open - I admit I was nervous when I heard he'd be doing a ballad, but he's got his own ballad style that works for him. Even Jesus hates Creed, so I hope he's not too flattered by the comments that he outsang the original. The band seems to dig him, so rock on. I'd like to see D-Qwon do the "scary conductor".
Ty - Everlong - I kept hoping that someone would take a Fender to the side of his head and knock that silly ass smirk off his face. This performance was a train wreck and I don't understand how anyone can like watching this guy. I'd rather eat a bucket of asbestos.
Jess - Blister in the Sun - I predicted for the second week in a row that she would do well and for the second week in a row she kicked me square in the nuts and asked me what the hell I was thinking. I did like the suspenders, though. And enough of the heavy metal "devil's horns" signs. You're not Ronnie James Dio. In fact, you're the anti-Dio. Not necessarily a bad thing, but just cut the shit out.
Brandon - If You Could Only See - OK, hack alert coming up. If you could only sing is more like it. When he fell backwards in the middle of the song, I thought that someone had finally taken my suggestion of nailing him with a tranquilizer dart whenever it gets too painful to watch. I also figured out that the band, INXS, must have gotten yelled at for being too mean last week after they approved of this performance.
Jordis - Man Who Sold The World - So Brooke mentions that the song spans generations. Does anyone believe that she had a clue what that meant? Jordis didn't look bad in white, but I missed the evil black mistress look. And a little too heavy on the lip gloss, unless it's that stuff that smells really strawberry. It was a nice vocal, but I didn't care for it. But the band, INXS, still got wood.
JD - The Letter - He started out the song sounding like he was being choked. Then threw in some Elvis moves and then seemed to go back to the spaz he was on the very first show. I didn't get any closure at the end of the song, either. And for the first time I think I heard that thing in his voice that Moist Rub doesn't like. Despite all this, the band had to be nice to him because Mark Burnett said so. However, I think that even the audience might start finding JD to be tiresome.
Tara - Message in the Bottle - What was up the with the New Orleans Saints uniform? Mr. Beers asked her if she liked doing covers. It was like that moment where you've been found out and it really doesn't matter what you answer because it's already been answered in the interrogator's mind. She's not right for their band, INXS. And they're right. If she survives this week, she should just go apeshit and do some wheels off performance with cartwheels and sparklers since she's not gonna win this thing. Or maybe cut a VW bug in half with a chainsaw ala Wendy O.
Suzie - Get Back - The interaction with the band was obviously rehearsed, but didn't seem forced. She didn't wreck the song. I even liked her hair. I want to say something insulting about her really bad. But I have to admit she was solid again. Your mom goes to college, Suzie.

Sid's Top Performances: Marty, Suzie
Sid's Worst: Deanna, Ty, Jess, Brandon, Tara
Sid's Bottom Three: Ty, Brandon, Tara, sending home Ty
Middle of the Road: Jordis, JD, MiG

Bottom Three - Tara, Jess, JD, with Tara going home
Encore - Jordis


Moist Rub said...

I agree. I think Tara is going home. She has been singing the INXS songs well. But, I think the band has made up it's collective mind on her. Unless somebody else tanks on Disappear or something like that, it doesn't look good for her.

Sid F'er said...

Yep, especially if she goes into give-up mode like Heather last week.
You think they've already picked the winner and now are just going through the motions?

Moist Rub said...

No, I don't think they can pick a winner until they hear how the remainers sing the INXS songs. I'm guessing the format is gonna switch up a little as the contestants dwindle - to get down to business. But, I'm pretty sure they have a good idea of who they don't like.

Anonymous said...

well done. but don't count brandon out. beaverton proud!
- mr. sa.