Rock Star - Aug 9 Moist Rub

Rock Star INXS has treated us to another fine performance show. Somebody should come up with a weekly show of unknown singers (of this quality or better) singing various ROCK cover tunes. I would watch it. Most people wouldn’t so they won’t do it. I’ll have to keep visiting my local venues, instead.

Brooke looked like a biker whore. If that’s what she wants people to think of her, that’s fine with me. I have no say on who she wants to be. It is none of my business. Garsh, she looked hot! Sooooo hot. So very, very hot. (I think I may want her back.)

They added reality prequels of each singer prior to their performances. Good idea. Not only did it take up empty space due to the lack of the crappy singers being on the show, it provided some perspective to each contestant's preparation. I learned a lot.

Suzie - Losing My Religion. I’m continuing to dig this chick. This is not one of my favorite REM songs, but I like how she fondled it. After the acappella portion of the song, her voice roused memories in me of the singer from Berlin. Although it failed to rouse my memory of what her name is. I think it was something like Maude Gerbanaczyck. Yeah, that sounds right. Suzie has great vocal dynamics that she employed to successfully juxtapose (that’s one of those pretentious words) the alternating serene and fervid aspects of her arrangement. And the band was right there with her. She’s got an edge some of the others don’t have. This edge is apparent in her inflections on the notes she whales on. What was with her pompadour? She shouldn’t do that. At least we didn’t have to see her cry with her hair like that. My tv would have received a well flung brick if that were the case.

MiG - All Right Now. He had more dimensional volume in his voice tonight. It was a good solid performance, and, as of now, he is the one I’m picking to win this thing. That doesn’t mean he’s my favorite, it merely means I think he has the best chance, from what I can tell. I wasn’t sure that he had a plan on what to do on stage. He executed a less-than-manly hip wiggle at one point. It scared me, a little. He clung to that mic stand like it was Dave Navarro’s teat. However, he redeemed himself toward the end of the song when he almost nailed some audience members with the base of the stand when he swung it around out on the runway. That would have been sooooo rock ‘n roll. I’ll give him credit for the attempt.

Note about Dave Navarro. He’s been providing more in depth critiques to the performers lately. He’s growing as a rock mentor. I think I want to hang out with him and see what he thinks about me and my band, Leprosy. I’m sure the first thing he’ll suggest is that we actually learn how to play instruments and then play together. Small hurdles.

JD - Crazy. I’m trying to keep an open mind when considering this goof. Let me say that his interpretation of this song was not unbearable. Although, if I hadn’t known that he was singing this song prior to hearing it, I would not have known it was this song until the chorus. Also, I wasn’t sure he was singing in English for a while there, either. The professionals call that technique "mumbling". His voice sounded better on this song than on his other songs, but he continued to do that guttural thing he does that I can’t describe. Speaking of "Crazy", you could tell by looking at him that he was holding back his own "crazy" spaz-out fest, as evidenced by the intermittent flailing hand wave. It’s a good step that he his able to channel that nonsense through his hand, instead of through his whole body. And then there is the bouncing.

Jessica - Come As You Are. I’m done with her. Her self-confidence is less than overwhelming, don’t you think? Jessica - INXS watches the reality portions of the show. I wouldn’t talk about the possibility of you blowing it on stage, if I were you. If you went to a job interview to become a nurse, would you tell the head nurse (knee pads) about your fear of the possibility of you jamming an enema tube up the wrong orifice? I wouldn’t. Keep that kind of stuff to yourself and hope you don’t imbue the stage with it. Which you did, so I guess it doesn’t matter. I agree with the band that she did not properly portray the passion of this song. She tried covering up with some extended "eeeuuhhhoooeewww" sounds at the end of some notes. That may work on drunk, horny idiots in a bar, but it doesn’t work on CBS. Add to all of this her defensiveness with the critiques, and I would presume the band can’t wait to send her home.

Jordis - Layla. This was good for Jordis. It will give her some perspective. When I say her performance was weak, it is a statement relative to her prior show-stoppers. Which is to say, many of the others would have killed to have this kind of weak performance. It seemed like her voice was competing with the guitar for attention. She had difficulty with the high notes. And she slightly dropped the microphone. This may have been a lack of concentration due to her attempt to loosen up on stage. At times she looked as if she was waiting for the song to be over. She has built enough momentum to keep her safe. I still want her to sing to me, but not this song.

Brandon - Used To Love Her. But it’s all over now. Just about. This song is right up his alley, and I still wasn’t impressed with it. Here is the good news. He is probably the best (as far as what we’ve seen) at being part of the band on stage. He’s also the best at taking criticism from the INXS and Dave, and he keeps it real because he is keeping it real. Jessica should be taking notes when Brandon is up there getting reamed by the band. But, he is limited, and his realm of ability may give him a half hour set within the empire that is the INXS material, which is not enough to support a tour. At one point during his critique, Brandon flashed physical resemblance to our beloved leader, George W. Kinda freaky.

Marty - Mr. Brightside. I was only vaguely familiar with this song, but now I like it. I heard rumors that Marty hadn’t pulled this song off one hundred percent, which, I suppose is true. But, I agree with Dave (we’re buddies now) when he said that you don’t have to hit every note as long as you can pull it through (or whatever he said). Marty’s voice sounded a little different than I had ever heard it before - more vibrant and capable. I enjoyed the changing texture of his voice, going back and forth between straight singing, whispering and cranking it. Dare I say it - he may not be able to go back to the Lovehammers after all of this if he doesn’t win this thing (similar to Russell Hammond and Stillwater). But I hope that is not the case. I don’t really know.

Deanna - Long Train Running. As complimentary as it may be, it’s probably not a good sign that the first thing Dave comments on is how hot you look. Which she did. Hubba hubba. Deanna was in her element with this song. I looked up "belting it out" in the dictionary, and it showed a video of this performance. I enjoyed it. But, much like Brandon, she is not INXS unless INXS wants to become a classic rock, blues based band (which I wouldn’t mind). She should be safe this week unless she tanks in the elimination show, because I think she’ll be there - only because the others were or have been so strong.

Ty - No Woman, No Cry. I’m not a big reggae guy, but Ty’s performance was my favorite tonight (excluding Marty’s because of my Hickory Hills bias). It was no less than awesome. I felt it. Did you feel it? I felt it like he’s never made me feel it before. I agree with the INXS when they declared he was passionate instead of only playing the part of a passionate evil twin doctor with a wooden leg, but a real foot. He had total control of his voice and it sounded lovely, just lovely. Dude, I’m serious. However, I didn’t need to hear the extended shit at the end of the song. It’s ok to end on a single note sometimes, Ty. For reference, listen to The Stroke, by Billy Squire.

From what I can decipher, the bottom three should be Brandon, Jessica and Deanna. It just so happens that this agrees with the early returns Brooke directed us to on the screen at the end of the show. (I think she gave me a secret sign.) Unless the other two sing a Miss Piggy version of an INXS song, Jessica will be coming back to Chicago to again front her band, Cover Gurl (website). The INXS is looking to oust her. I may even go check her out at a club and test out my drunk theories on her performance. I saw her fiancé’ on the CBS local news tonight (they did a story on her - not much to tell about it) and I think I can take him.

Tonight’s top performers were Ty, Marty, Suzie, Mig and Deanna (although it won’t keep her out of the bottom three).

Don’t get me wrong, I think JD should always be in the bottom three, but he won’t be. If that We Are The Champions fiasco didn’t drop him there, I’m not sure what will. At least I haven’t called him a pud in while. I’m growing as an artist, too.