Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Rock Star - Aug 31 - Sid

I missed the elimination show tonight due to a work commitment that involved eating fish in Atlanta during the broadcast. It was trout, thanks for asking. So here’s my review of the show based on a short conversation with Mrs. F’er and a very brief review of a message board.

Mrs. F’er was stuck in traffic and missed the beginning of the show. Actually she was in the shower and missed the beginning of the show. See, the shower would have been taken care of before the show had it not been for the traffic jam. In any case, personal hygiene is a priority in her life and I find it a good quality in a wife. So I excused this malfeasance and will patiently await Moist Rub’s summary of the early show controversy and encores that I’ve been hearing about on the street. I haven’t seen his update yet, so I hope he’s not dead or anything. From what I gather, Suzie is a conniving bitch, JD killed Santa, and Suzie and Marty get an encore.

Tonight’s bottom three proved the theory first raised by Mack the Fork. Getting your name in the “early” bottom three will mobilize your fans, if you have any, to vote their asses off to save yours. It happened to Jordis last week and Marty this week. The same way Gene Simmons deployed the Kiss Army to win the Ed Sullivan show back in the 70’s. So, Jordis joins JD and Ty for a shot to go home.

Mrs. F’er said that each and every one of the bottom three performances blew donkey cock. OK, she didn’t really say that, but apparently OBINXS did. Jordis has too many fans to send her home yet even though she’s definitely not roit for OBINXS. JD is the only one keeping the mansion interesting, so Mark Burnett says he stays. So, OBINXS gives Ty the boot to save him from another of Sid’s weekly diatribes. Thank you, Lords O’ Music, thank you. I won’t comment on Ty’s closing arguments, because they probably sucked and I haven’t heard them firsthand yet.

I’m guessing the usual suspects cried while Marty and JD gave each other jailhouse tats and Brooke told us that she would see us next time on Rock Star: INXS. And we’ll see you next time on LeperPop.

16 comments:

L A Ray said...

Wonderful, the show ends with Ty playing the race card, and our trusty blogger misses the entire show. Hopefully Moist is alive, well, and was near a TV. Moist put down the bottle and blog damn it, blog like the wind......

Moist Rub said...

Fuck man. Almost 2300 words. It took a while. Get off my back. I get a dollar a word, right. That's like 23 bucks you owe me.

I don't know who "you" is.

L A Ray said...

we read you for entertainment and content, no need to be long winded. My people are....well you know what this is all about.

Devious D said...

Actually, Marty got a little teary-eyed. I assume, o great bloggers, that you're reading Marty's blog once in awhile and see that he has experienced great learning from Ty. So I guess he's allowed.

And huh. I was sure there'd be comments about Brooke's outfit tonite. I had braced myself and everything for the abundant commentage. Thanks to Ms. F'er that whole tangent must've been sliced out(much like Brookie's shirt--if that's what you call it). She must be getting fashion advice from the Emperor (as in new clothes).

Sid F'er said...

Hey, man, it was getting late (darn near 2 a.m. EST) and no sign of MR. I understand it takes time to construct a quality post, but wanted to get some sort of content up there for our loyal readers just in case MR accidentally hanged himself or something.
The broadcast is on tape back at the homestead and will be reviewed so that I can continue to offer misguided commentary as we walk this lonely road called Rock Star Blvd.

Ms. F'er said...

Devious

In my house it is always assumed that Brook looks like a whore however, Sid always thinks she looks great. I do not even try to describe her outfit to him (over the phone) as I can't do it justice, and it would ruin it for my beloved.

Moist Rub said...

What's all of this shit about me checkin' myself out early? I would never do that - not until the show has ended, anyway.

I did have some comments on Brooke's outfit in my notes, but chose to keep them to myself, in the bathroom, with a can of vaseline.

Whiskey A Go Go said...

Rubbing out the fire with vaseline?

dalebud said...

Sid, watch out on the comments about Moist accidentally hanging himself. That's how we got in this whole INXS mess in the first place.

Sid F'er said...

dalebud -
That's my point. I'd hate to have to do a Blogger: LeperPop to find a replacement. Stick all the finalists in the Blogger Home Office and have George Will deliver the weekly clinics. Then the tearful goodbye each week as I tell someone that they just aren't roit for OBLeperPop.
Thank god MR is OK.

dalebud said...

will Brooke be available to host?

Sid F'er said...

No Bwak Bwak...
instead picture Arianna Huffington in spandex.

Anonymous said...

No jailhouse tats this week for JD....just a big smacker for Ty

L A Ray said...

Any chance we can trade Arianna for Ann Coulter?

Moist Rub said...

Just re-reading the post - "Mrs F'er" - that shit cracks me up.

Sid F'er said...

I'm not sure if I should be offended that she changed it to Ms. F'er in her comments.
And then had the nerve to say that Brooke looks like a whore. Perhaps I should bring one home so that she can see what a real whore looks like.